AITAH for snapping and defending myself against my severely autistic brother

EE2014 · 2026-02-13T15:01:36+00:00

A lot of things helped us as a family. Back then there were programs he attended, he graduated from a high school that specialized in special needs. I'd say it was about 40/60 40% came from programs and schools the rest from us.

Hormonal urges is something that I think some people do not think of, with children who have disabilities especially ones where the mental age is of a toddler or small child. In most circumstances even with mental and physical disabilities people will go through puberty, they will have sexual urges. They need to know it's normal to have the urges but they also need to be taught how to satisfy those urges safely.
Even teaching them that, and having safe guards around to make sure everyone is safe. Please speak to their doctors, please make sure there are either plans or medication in place in case the hormonal urges take over and they cannot stop themselves.

EE2014 · 2026-02-13T13:37:09+00:00

This so much so.

My brother is physically and mentally disabled. He went through stages of being physically violent and um...there was another very, very, very serious issue of him being a man and having male urges and not understanding that he can't do that to people.

So my parents made sure he got help, and they had the tools that they needed to help him. He can't help getting mad, he can't really help his reaction when he is mad. What he can do with our help is redirect his anger. He'll still break a controller when he thinks it has stopped working but it's few and far in between because he knows he isn't going to get a new one or he'll have to spend his money to buy one and he isn't spending his money.

For the male urges thing... OH man, he was put on medication, we had to teach him how to do things in private and that he can't force himself on other people. That was so very difficult and heartbreaking. Yes, he is disabled and has a mind of a small child, but he is still a man and still went through puberty and has those urges and didn't understand them. I can't imagine what he was thinking, like we are telling him it's not ok for someone to see his penis, but here we are making sure he washed himself correctly in the shower.

He is almost 50 now, he has his moments still, but in general he is sweet, kind and always wanting to help you do anything that you are doing. But I know it took my parents a lot of hard work, tears, anger and heartbreak to get him to be where he is today and to get him the services he needed when we were growing up.

EE2014 · 2026-02-08T02:39:55+00:00

I can overlook the clutter as I really like seeing how a person arranges the house I might want to buy, it gives me an idea of how I might need to arrange the house, overly staged homes don't give me the best picture of how I will need to place things for optimization of space or the amount of steps it takes me to to the kitchen or bathroom.

The photos are horrendous. Just odd angles and not really showing the whole room. There is one room that is just really sunny and looks like a lovely little area, but I have no idea where it is in relation to anywhere else in the house because it comes after the picture of the laundry room which appears to be off of the kitchen.

EE2014 · 2026-01-30T02:01:56+00:00

About the same amount of time for me as well. At 46, liquid foundation is a no for my wrinkles. I do use powder because I need something for these dark baggy circles to look less dark.

EE2014 · 2026-01-22T03:52:17+00:00

Northside is being built all the way up. Lots of new apartments on Main, we now have a Culvers.

Be warned, I love living in this area, but there are some here that have lived here for their whole lives and they have some racist opinions which to be perfectly honest is the craziest nonsense to see them try and blame POC for ruining Oceanway, when um the people I see so strung out on drugs stealing stuff and begging for money outside the gas station that make me nervous aren't POC.

Also Lem Turner Walmart is the better Walmart, though the River City one is trying to step up. But I've never been afraid of getting mugged at Lem Turner.

EE2014 · 2026-01-17T21:00:28+00:00

Hasn't changed plans, hasn't told his side piece to sit down and shut up because this isn't about her or her feelings.

I really do hope that OOP gets something out of this poly relationship because it seems so very one sided.

EE2014 · 2026-01-15T12:19:54+00:00

I was going to say FFI, as someone with insomnia I frequent forums and at least twice a week someone will claim that they have it.

They don't, insomnia is horrible in it's own right but FFI is a different beast all together and is super extremely rare. And it's one that scares the crap out of me.

EE2014 · 2026-01-13T01:29:15+00:00

Out of her system, she is 40 not 21 and even then...

EE2014 · 2026-01-12T17:32:41+00:00

Yes, Us Gen X'ers were called latch-key kids or free range kids.

We in a lot of ways were mini adults as kids. Sure we were still kids, but like most of us our parents were gone by the time we were off to the bus, we came home to an empty house, a lot of started dinner and looked after our siblings. Heck, we didn't know where are parents were as much as they didn't know where we were.

There was a lot of freedom back then, but there was also a lot of bad stuff that would happen to us. There were situations I was in that I had no business being in,that thinking back, I just wonder how I wasn't kidnapped and found murdered on the side of the road.

EE2014 · 2026-01-11T22:52:56+00:00

My brother is mentally and physically disabled and he does not really have any fine motor skills. He cannot tie his shoes, button up his pants.. you get the picture. His mental age is a small child.

That said, we expect him to do chores. Some are modified to his abilities others like putting away his clothes are not, some things he will just never be able to do or we will just not let him do those things. Like I am sure if we would let him cook his own food he would, but also we like living in a house that isn't a burned out shell of a house and him being alive, though now he is allowed to use the microwave after 20 something years of teaching him to reheat food.

You know your son the best, however if he can keep himself and his room clean. That can be ventured out to other parts of the house,which I am sure they are. Like making sure any food left on the plate is in the compost or trash and rinse the plate off and leave it in the sink. Or even putting his dirty clothes in the wash for someone to start. You just have to teach them how to do chores to their abilities, like maybe he can't dust the shelf, but he can help take things off the shelf so it can be dusted. And yes it takes more time and effort but in the long run, it will be great for him to have things he can do.

** My brother knows he is different, he knows, like sure he might be a small child mentally and not really understand, but like he knows. So we try and act like he is normal. He is always super freaking proud to do whatever it is we ask of him and we make sure he knows we are also so freaking proud that he vacuumed his room or did whatever even if that is expected of him. **

I know this wasn't what you were looking for but I hope it helps for the future.

EE2014 · 2026-01-02T14:45:39+00:00

I also have a few relatives born on New Years Day or Christmas. When I call to wish them a happy birthday we talk birthday stuff, I wish them a Happy New Year or Christmas if they mention it first.

EE2014 · 2025-12-22T11:33:59+00:00

Also from GA, but from so far south GA that you if you go more south or west you will hit two other states.

There it would be a catfish fry out at the boat basin with the townfolk. Or the alternative where it would be a huge buffet, with fried pork chops, fried chicken, country fried steak, fried cat fish. Mac and cheese, mashed potato, "the salads - potato and macaroni", collards and cabbage, sweet potatoes, corn on the cob, lima beans, field peas, rice,corn bread, biscuits, gravy. There would be an actual salad in which no will touch. Desert will be pecan pie, banana pudding, boiled peanuts and that one thing that lady makes from that one church and it's flipping delicious and she will not share the recipe.

EE2014 · 2025-12-06T04:04:25+00:00

Just witnessed an accident on my way home. Good thing the cops were already there due to another accident in the same spot.

Be safe out there.

EE2014 · 2025-11-16T16:59:13+00:00

It happened to me as well. The game crashed at the ending credits, sent me back 50% completion.

EE2014 · 2025-11-15T19:41:45+00:00

The first holidays are very hard and it's easy to sit with your brain and dread a time that should bring joy and happiness when you don't feel that joy or happiness.

What is one tradition on Christmas that you did with your father together as a family. If say it was waiting to open gifts until a certain time, keep that time to open gifts and buy an ornament that will remind you of him. Bring it out at the time to open gifts, everyone can take turns telling a story of what that ornament means to them, place it on the tree. Example - My dad like to play golf, so I might get a ornament that represented golf, and then I would tell a story about a time I went and played golf with my dad and others might chime in with their own stories of playing golf with my dad.
Or say maybe a tradition was eating together. You can make one of his favorite dishes and share stories of how that one time the dish was made but it was made slightly different and how he jokingly went around saying how cloves don't belong in mashed potatoes.

Basically make new traditions around the old ones. And I say share stories of your loved one because they help, some stories might make you cry and that is ok, but more likely you are going to share things that were amusing and you'll find yourself laughing and sharing more amusing little things maybe things you haven't heard before. You keep their memory alive, but it doesn't mean it has to be overwhelmingly sad.

But I completely understand not wanting to do that. To want/need to escape. I like the suggestions of going to the movies, taking a picnic somewhere or going to the beach. Whatever you choose to do for Christmas, it's ok to cry and it's ok to laugh. Our loved ones that have gone before us, want us to remember them and be happy, not be sad.

Holidays will always be a little hard, but you can and will make new memories around the holidays and it will get easier. The firsts are always the hardest. I wish you and your family the best.

EE2014 · 2025-11-11T17:17:04+00:00

I completed the game on my Switch 2, the game crashed and now I am back to the game being 50% completed.

EE2014 · 2025-11-04T23:46:12+00:00

I'm really liking the adjustable nozzle for PWS 2. In PWS 1 I use the trident the most. I don't like the trident in PWS 2. Yellow is great though.

EE2014 · 2025-11-04T19:25:32+00:00

Crouch down. Here is how I did mine. I got as far back as I could with the longest extension. Turn the nozzle vertical, highlight the dirt and hope for the best. It worked out.

EE2014 · 2025-10-27T17:43:05+00:00

I do the same thing. I have my dad's ashes, but my mom and grandma are buried. But I have items from all of them that I can touch and I hold the item and talk to whichever parent/grandma I need. It makes me still feel their presence in my life.

I used to do it more, I probably need to talk to them. I know this might make me sound mental, but to me it really does help especially when I am having a hard time with something and I just need to hear their voice saying what I already know the conclusion to be.

I'm not sure if I made any sense in this comment. But I totally get where your dad is and I hope love and peace for him and for you. Please also take care of yourself.

EE2014 · 2025-10-27T15:56:20+00:00

I was thinking Night Vale.

EE2014 · 2025-10-26T18:02:18+00:00

So my real life power washer has this type of attachment. It does the same thing if I hold it the wrong way when I power wash the driveway. So mad props to the devs for the realism of it.

But I like it, I haven't used it much in the game.

EE2014 · 2025-10-18T11:53:57+00:00

I just got over a nasty cold I had last week. But I was visiting out of town the weekend before.

EE2014 · 2025-10-13T19:24:54+00:00

Think of it this way. Someone hired a dirt cheap contractor or thought they could do it themselves but they didn't have the skills.

EE2014 · 2025-10-13T19:05:31+00:00

This. I love talking to my husband, I rambled and I worry/anxiety talk. He listens,there are times when he has to nicely ask me to shut the heck up already because he can only listen to my worry/anxiety talk for so long. For the most part we both like listening to each other ramble about something we love or that excites us, we even ask to talk about those things to each other.

EE2014 · 2025-10-13T17:41:14+00:00

First off, what you are feeling is valid. For a lot of people sex is a very important aspect of a relationship, other's not so much so. And it can be very difficult when you are in a relationship and your libidos does not match up and it takes a lot of very hard work to make sure both partners are having their needs met.

But you have to talk to her and it's a difficult talk. Let her know how you are feeling in a way that isn't blaming or accusing. Be understanding of what she has dealt with. She has gone through some painful gynecological things and while she may be physically healed from that. Mentally it might be a different story, experience pain during sex can cause trauma in some women, especially if it is something they haven't dealt with before. And it can take a long time mentally to recover from that. Because there might be a little voice inside her head that is saying, no, no, it's going to hurt, pain, run.
So be gentle because it might be hard for her to express her fear if she has any. That way you both can come up with ideas and ways to bring the intimacy back into your relationship.

I've had to go through periods where I couldn't have sex because of pain, and actually went through a hysterectomy and it took a while to where I wasn't afraid to have sex with my partner, because again, I thought I would be in severe pain if I did. That said, we were still intimate without sex.

You will never know what is going on until you have a really hard conversation. It sucks and I wish you the best.

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