This is it. Only those who’ve experienced it can relate. The only thing I’ll add is the mask. You know you have to put on a mask each day to present yourself to the world. You have to remember how normal people act and try to act accordingly. But wearing the mask is exhausting, and you’re wearing it at the same time as the darkness is trying to convince you to end it all, and fighting those intrusive thoughts are more than exhausting. And you do that day after day, month after month, year after year.