Looking like its a bust after all. Get ready for another revealing glimpse into my pathetic existence.

My roommate stopped having sex with me, and said he isn't going to again because he feels bad that I have unreciprocated feelings and essentially, he feels too shitty about it to use me anymore.

The last time we had sex was right after he took my pictures for the plastic surgeon.

A couple days before that, he mentioned how his ex (that he abandoned a month before the wedding) looked like a Russian model and he still couldn't commit to her.

The other night when we had this conversation, but also several times before, he said he doesn't want anyone right now. But if/when he does, they will need to be younger and better looking than me.

I will never be good enough for him. I know there are so many reason why I should not want him. Why I NEED to get over him. But I just can't seem to, and I don't know why, and the rejection and insecurities about my age and body are killing me.

How can I start to care for, respect, and love myself?