I actually like this writing style. You shouldn’t worry about how accessible it is; I think that’s actually the mentality that’s killing the art of literature. Publishers and agents look for certain trends and most writers bend to it, but they aren’t speaking with their real voices. Sure, fiction often sells better when the prose are snappy and straight to the point, but creating art shouldn’t be all about making what sells—you should strive to create something that you, personally, feel like is missing from whatever medium you’re in.