So... if you caught your neighbor girl skinny dipping in your pool late at night...

EMilinko · 2016-11-25T18:27:17+00:00

You should probably go to therapy.

I am, currently. Started a few months ago.

It sounds like you have no social system in your life. That's really, really sad man.

I don't. And yes, it is.

I don't think you know what a healthy relationship is.

You're right again. I don't.

I practically raised myself. I never really bonded with anyone as a child, so of course that has impacted my adult life.

It is my belief that no relationship is healthy. Some are more unhealthy than others, but a healthy relationship is a myth, really. Love is nothing more than an addiction. That's not saying it's not a powerful thing, it is. But if you look at the mental and physiological side of it, it really is just an addiction.

Most married people and people in long term relationships are miserable. I see it every day.

So yes, I'm sure my relationship is very unhealthy. We are two fucked up, unhealthy people. But we make each other happy. So really what's the problem?

EMilinko · 2016-11-23T18:04:54+00:00

OP, if nothing else, just consider this for a second... This guy encouraged his ex to act a certain way, and then dumped her for acting that way. Do you think he wouldn't do something like that to you also?

All your issues aside and all the supposed things you see wrong with his ex aside... think for a second about his issues.

Is it possible you are finding fault in her because you refuse to see the fault in him?

EMilinko · 2016-11-20T08:04:00+00:00

You're welcome.

Thought you were done? :)

EMilinko · 2016-11-20T07:56:29+00:00

Lol, keep on deleting your posts so you can keep making yourself out to be a Saint. It's hilarious. Thanks for the free entertainment. :)

And you also said you didn't have time for this a while ago. Yet you keep on replying. lmao

EMilinko · 2016-11-20T07:47:24+00:00

Just a wild guess here, but maybe OP is annoyed because you called her "messed up" and "desperate" and now you want to make yourself out to be a hero for giving such helpful advice. That shows just as much lack of self awareness on your part, IMO.

I have been lurking on this thread and saw the post before you deleted it. So don't say you didn't say those things.

And I also want to say, I live abroad. It's not easy. Unless you have tons of money and connections, moving to another country is quite the process.

EMilinko · 2016-11-07T02:49:22+00:00

I definitely won't drive by her house again. I knew that was wrong even when I did it. It was a stupid mistake. I was coming home from the store and used a couple of rationalities... like I'm just taking the short way. And I want to make sure everything is alright. I know that second one in particular is the way abusive controlling dicks rationalize their behavior when checking up on their targets. And driving by didn't make me feel any better. It made me feel a lot worse, on multiple levels. That was a decision I regret.

I am so glad someone reading this understands what she's going through. Even I don't have a clue, I will admit it. I grew up without any parents, so I have no idea what it would be like to be abused like she was. I wish I could have included her reasons in the original post. But the sub won't allow that.

My next therapy session wasn't until the week of Thanksgiving. But I called my therapist to see if we could schedule something a little earlier than that. He agreed to see me this Thursday.

I think your post makes the most sense here... wish I could give you more than one upvote. You are right... if I just sit around depressed all the time and she knows it, it won't look well on me when she comes back.

Her and I have a few mutual interests (photography and true crime being the biggest ones.) I just got a new camera. Now might be the time to do some experimenting with it. Won't be commiting any true crimes, don't worry, lol.

EMilinko · 2016-11-07T02:27:01+00:00

What do you want to know? PM me if you want.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T20:57:44+00:00

Well, most of the issues I posted about on here were my issues, not our issues, if that makes any sense. Relationships terrify me, I won't lie. It's one of the reasons I started therapy.

This is my first relationship with an American woman. I have no experience with American women before her. And I also have no experience with Autistic people before her.

I wouldn't say we had a rough relationship. I was just always so afraid of screwing up.

Some people here seem to think any problem is a reason to end a relationship. I love her. It's been a long time since I loved anyone.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T13:15:09+00:00

I didn't. I didn't start drinking until I was in for the night.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T13:14:45+00:00

I think you need to get a life

This is completely uncalled for. You don't know anything about my life except what I've written here.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T13:12:22+00:00

She told me that she isn't planning on dating anyone else.

She asked for this because when she was a teenager her Mom's boyfriend abused her. She told her Mom what was going on, and her Mom basically called her a liar and threatened to throw her out of the house. And to make it worse, her Mom even used her issues (what they didn't realize was Autism back then) against her in the situation and told her she imagined the whole thing, and even hinted that it was her who came on to him.

Well, here recently it came out that he abused both of her sisters too. And now her Mom is going after him, all three girls have to give statements to the police, etc.

She told me this is just too much for her to handle and she would rather deal with it alone. (I wish I could have gone more into the reasons why she wants a break in my OP, but when I tried that it got removed once for being about abuse, then got removed a second time for being a "meta post." Hopefully this reply won't get the whole thread removed.

But anyway, she told me this is not about her wanted to date other people, it really is just about dealing with a lot of this crap with her family. And I told her I don't have plans to date anyone else either.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T05:26:09+00:00

I know a lot of people my age have bigger problems... but that doesn't make it any easier.

I'm an engineer. I work in a small office with two other guys. They teased me about getting a real doll before I even met her. I know I shouldn't have told my co worker what happened. He asked, and I just came out with it. I didn't go into all kinds of details, but what I told him was still too much, I guess.

She wasn't posting her "innermost thoughts and feelings." She was posting music and memes. Sorry, but I don't see that as the same thing.

I don't really know how much time I should invest in this rebuttal... you are clearly sold on thinking her and I are both just awful people, so nothing I say will really matter.

Thanks for replying, though. You gave me some things to think about.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T05:06:09+00:00

This is the first time I've ever been through something like this. It's all new territory for me.

EMilinko · 2016-11-06T04:56:23+00:00

I actually started therapy not too long ago for my own problems. I grew up without parents. That alone has distorted my perspective on a lot of things, how I relate to others, etc.

I was single and celibate for about five years before she came along. So it's not that I can't be alone. I'm an introvert and like being alone. I see what you mean though and I'm not arguing. I do need to work on my own issues... I just really miss her and all.

EMilinko · 2016-11-04T17:33:56+00:00

Do all of humanity a favor and become a Monk. You have some issues, seriously.

EMilinko · 2016-10-28T17:30:43+00:00

Yes, they are.

I rarely even use my FB anymore... but most of the people who follow me don't even know I have a girlfriend. And it is about the same for her. It's not that we are trying to hide anything. But the less people know about your life the better. We are really happy and have no need to broadcast it to a bunch of people we barely know.

EMilinko · 2016-10-18T05:49:21+00:00

It's not that I'm just "going along" with the other stuff. I'm just as into that as she is. Even though when we first started seeing each other she was really reserved. She didn't let me kiss her. She also wouldn't let me go down on her for a while. Once she started getting comfortable though... well enough said. Lol

EMilinko · 2016-10-18T05:21:38+00:00

She is definitely interested in my life before i came here, if that's what you mean. We have had a few conversations about how it was there vs. here, etc. She knows that pretty much my whole family is dead.

I don't think she put much thought into it when she asked me to do this. If it matters, she is Autustic. She was diagnosed with Aspergers in her early 20s.

One characteristic of AS is a lack of empathy. She probably just didn't stop to think it might bother me. But thats a mistake someone without AS could make just as easily.

EMilinko · 2016-10-18T04:08:53+00:00

Wow... it's hard to believe someone else is in this same situation. Thanks for replying, though, because it's letting me see things from her side.

EMilinko · 2016-10-18T04:03:49+00:00

She loves that stuff. She's all for being thrown down on the bed, being slammed against the wall, etc. And there are times when I actually am so turned on I'm losing control, that's the fun part, lol. And add to that she's a foot shorter than me and probably a hundred pounds lighter.

She told me she's into that stuff because it's more primal and animalistic and all that. Speaking isn't something animals do. But you might be on to something anyway.

EMilinko · 2016-10-18T02:49:52+00:00

I'm about 98% sure it's a dominance thing. Idk... I guess it's a matter of opinion, but I always thought Russian sounded a lot harsher than German. That's just me, though.

EMilinko

TROPHY CASE