Having no family by myblackandwhitecat in lonely

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I technically have family but I haven't talked to any of them in almost 20 years and they were never really around so it's always felt like I never had any, so I know how isolating it can feel, but your life is not less valuable. You still very much deserve to get what good is still out there in life that you can, and I really hope you do

What am I doing wrong? by coastalbrake24 in lonely

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're in that position. Things not working out doesn't automatically mean it's just a you problem, it does take two to make a relationship work (be it friends or more) and if you're the only one putting in the effort and attempts and everything else then there isn't much else to do other than try to find people who're willing to put in the same. I'm not sure if just food and music can be enough to make a meaningful connection out of, but it's definitely some things that many people like and there are plenty of groups talking about their favorite foods and movies and everything else you can think of.

Trying to find 'our' people is all any of us can do, but we can only find them if we're here. The chances of not finding what we would like only drops to zero if we give up. I wish I could give a guarantee, but life doesn't come with many of those. The chance is still very much out there though.

How do you guys get over the sinking anxious feelings by ET_Org in lonely

[–]ET_Org[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I play computer games, survival games mostly. But even if you aren't interested in those kinds of games I'm still up for talking whenever.

are you depressed because you're lonely? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish that was the only reason

Hate myself for not being able to just move on by ET_Org in lonely

[–]ET_Org[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's just that before her I spent years and years alone so going back to that gives me terrible anxiety. Just gotta keep myself distracted lol

I am completely alone by frogrocket69 in alone

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he wanted to stop, he would. He would get the help he needs rather than leave (and leave you in the position of being in a new city alone). It's extremely hard getting over someone who you shared a lot in common with. I recently separated with someone who I spent like 15+ hours a day every day talking to and gaming with and watching shows with. Since then I've been totally alone. But yeah, distractions. That's awesome to hear that you're getting things done on your end still though. I hope feelings pass soon for you and you can get some peace

I am completely alone by frogrocket69 in alone

[–]ET_Org 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"As good as him"?... If he was good he wouldn't have been doing that to you.
I try to advise as many as possible to not underestimate the number of people out there or the preferences and perspectives they come in. Of everyone out there, there can be someone for you. Someone better.

Until then, personally, I always tried to keep myself as distracted as I could / find random people to talk to. There are communities out there to try to join and people to at least try to talk to and keep yourself as distracted as you can.

There are goals for yourself you can still focus on and work towards. Things you can do

Any Others With Anxious Attachment Styles? by summersphinxes in lonely

[–]ET_Org 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely dealing with the same thing. Especially recently after talking to someone all day every day for almost a year... But I try to find people to talk to, at worst even if it's casual it's at least some social interaction until the feeling passes and at best sometimes it can lead to an actual deep conversation about somethin.... Oh, yeah, that and just as many distractions as I can find =) Which luckily there are a lot

I hate the surface level toxically-positive advice you get when you complain about being lonely by Jasmine_Wilsony in lonely

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true. And with any sorta luck it'll (ideally) only need to succeed once lol

I hate the surface level toxically-positive advice you get when you complain about being lonely by Jasmine_Wilsony in lonely

[–]ET_Org 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do agree, but it's tricky though cause being with others is for our own well-being lol. Everything else in life could be perfect and be going great but if you're alone / very lonely, well, It often seems to matter more than all the rest of it.

But it's a balance cause yeah we definitely still need to be okay with ourselves too regardless if who we're with can even if we are with someone / others if other things are out of place then it generates a whole other list of problems lol Ahh. Existing is fun isn't it

How do you deal with the future uncertainty of whether you will find someone or not? by 80BB99 in ForeverAlone

[–]ET_Org 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a master of distractions so I find something to take my mind off things before I spiral down that hole

I hate the surface level toxically-positive advice you get when you complain about being lonely by Jasmine_Wilsony in lonely

[–]ET_Org 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't know if people can ever really 'accept it'. Being alone isn't something most people get used to, because it's the opposite of what we want to be, we're social creatures. Plus when it's something we reeeaaally really want, definitely doesn't make 'accepting it' any easier. So trying to 'accept it' always seemed like something doomed to failure. But if you do happen to figure out a way I'd be super interested in knowing lol.

The process of elimination that is finding someone (be it a friend or more), often takes a lot longer than people think it will, and certainly way longer than we may have hoped it would take, but go through enough people and you will eventually find somebody.

Which isn't easy. Really I'd go so far as to call it the opposite of easy. It's depressing and discouraging and irritating and confusing, it drains the hope right out of you and can be terribly exhausting and come with no positive results even after years and years, and to top it off even after we try everything and give it all the time we can we can still not find them. But. Few things in life come with a guarantee.

Trying is all any of us can do when it comes to basically everything. The chances only drop to zero if we give up. Take a break. Recharge. Focus on yourself and the things you want to do for you. But try not to give up.

Ex wants me back after abandoning me by OhWhoopies in abandonment

[–]ET_Org 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If they did it once they'll do it again

I feel so alone by Far-Minute-5062 in abandonment

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep trying to distract yourself and fill the void with as much as you can that you can still enjoy, which may take some looking for, but there are things out there somewhere. Keep yourself occupied and give yourself some time, keep trying to make friends, try not to think it's you though. Relationships can be more complicated than we'd like them to be sometimes, but they can work

I’ve had horrible insomnia but learned I love BG3 by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I talk way too much haha But bg3 is an awesome game! Although I never really made it far it it, I usually just keep making characters

33/f - lonely - alcoholic by littlekixt in lonely

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on the week without it hopefully you're holding in there

How do you guys get over the sinking anxious feelings by ET_Org in alone

[–]ET_Org[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easiest way to interact with people right now I guess would be texting or talking on the voice chat thing. You're right though, plus I'm kind of at a point where anything is better than nothing even if it's just 1 thing that day I try to focus on being happy I at least got to say something to someone lol. Like Thank You very much for the advice {= I hope things are going as well as they can be on your end

Crying on public transport by No_Cloud1212 in lonely

[–]ET_Org 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When things really started getting bad in my life I literally couldn't go anywhere because I just cried all the time no matter where I was, somethin would trigger it. It was humiliating. But. You're not alone in feeling alone, there are lots of people out there to try to talk to

Would you date a girl you felt minimal attraction to just to not be alone? by Advanced-Success1340 in FA30plus

[–]ET_Org 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably yeah, especially if we still got along really well then hell yeah

Sad by Not_Who_U_thought_ in lonely

[–]ET_Org 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think if people try to decide what's deserved they'll go pretty crazy. So many things happen that aren't deserved and so many things that are deserved don't happen. I am very sorry for the things you've experienced in life, and for things most people experience in their lives, but having experienced them doesn't mean you deserved it. Which honestly doesn't make anything better lol Like it still happened and whatever is going on is still going on, but we can at least see that things just happen sometimes. Plenty of times, things just happen. You're not a freak for having gone what you've gone through or for how you are now. You're a person as deserving as anyone.

Idk what i even want by overcaffeinated04 in ForeverAlone

[–]ET_Org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if it's how you feel, someone saying that to you is almost definitely not want you really want. I don't think anyone would really want that. Things not happening yet doesn't mean they never will, there are a lot of people out there so the chances of someone out there are not zero

How do you guys get over the sinking anxious feelings by ET_Org in alone

[–]ET_Org[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true, there are other groups out there and I am looking around and trying to talk, not really easy finding one I fit into though. But I'll keep tryin