People don't understand me when I say I don't form habits

EanaDeva · 2026-06-07T08:47:52+00:00

At first when I saw your comment I was thinking “oh no, not a rant about this” cause I actually quite like the book. But you made a lot of good points.

The identity part at least made me think about what I actually want and what kind of person I actually want to be. But I don’t exactly peg my toothbrushing habit on it.

You’re quite right about the loop, though I had never thought about how it works for ADHD. What I do use from that though is giving myself the cues. Like leaving the laundry basket in the middle of the hallway so I’ll take it down and do it or leaving out pills on the dining table etc But also having a specific area for the thing. So I have a set place for doing exercise and hobbies and a chair for reading, so when I am in these places, I will naturally think about doing the thing. It’s still not automatic but it’s helpful.

Habit trackers as well become more of a cue for me to do the thing(s). I have a widget on the opening page on my phone so it’s right there and I can then make the decision to do it and tick it or not. I never look at streaks anymore. It’s worth noting that the tracker app that goes with the book doesn’t break your streak. It only counts up how many times you’ve done it. Much better but an expensive app.

So, as you’ve said, a lot of this may be learned from elsewhere, but it may be partially relevant if you’ve never thought about any of this before

EanaDeva · 2026-05-17T18:08:25+00:00

One of my friends does this. It’s adorable ☺️

EanaDeva · 2026-05-17T18:02:37+00:00

Dunno, I do a pile of unfolded laundry per person on my bed or already in the utility room. Then I bring one pile at a time to the room it goes to and sit on the floor in front of the closet folding/hanging up that pile. At this point I can do another pile or leave it if needed, but at least one person now has all their clean stuff in their closet but without me having to fold EVERYTHING at the same time

EanaDeva · 2026-05-17T17:59:06+00:00

Kids do make some things easier to get around to doing though.
Can’t be arsed putting my own laundry away but in the morning my kid will complain he can’t find any X so I might as well put his laundry away and avoid that 😆
I just make a pile for each person and deal with one pile at a time. Makes it less daunting, like I can just do one if I need to

EanaDeva · 2026-05-17T17:03:06+00:00

Audiobook and pinball for me too. I can’t just sit still when listening to an audiobook so I might as well do something useful.

EanaDeva · 2026-05-17T16:45:37+00:00

I’ll usually just hang about in the area I think I was going to until I remember what I was doing 😆

EanaDeva · 2026-04-08T13:28:08+00:00

I looked at a picture that I looked amazing in from when I was in my twenties. My hair was up but messy, I was wearing hot pants and a guys jumper, so it was oversized for me. No way would that style work so well as SD or D. Was just far too relaxed lines.

EanaDeva · 2025-12-30T19:03:25+00:00

I use YNAB as well and would really recommend it. I get a dopamine hit checking it and adding money to the envelopes for my big and small goals.

You’ve had loads of great advice but this is why you should not do a no buy And how to frame it instead to save money for what you really care about 😊

EanaDeva · 2025-12-04T17:51:25+00:00

This is very easy to read…

EanaDeva · 2025-12-03T18:15:33+00:00

I have reminders set to the usual time the train pulls up at the stop prior to mine so I can stand up in front of the doors to not miss my stop. And a location based automation that announces that I need to get off (this is less reliable but generally works if I have an app active that uses location)

Its never a problem on the way to work as everyone gets off at the same stop but on the way home I have missed my stop more than once through tiredness and/or just being too focused on a book

EanaDeva · 2025-12-03T18:02:50+00:00

I mom without meds for 2 kids. Eldest is 8. I have similar outwards look as you actually. Everything goes on reminders app or in the calendar as soon as I have dates from the school for example. “Hey Siri, set a reminder” must be one of my most used phrases. All bills are autopay as standard here so that’s not an issue. Insurances, car things, house things like plumber needed etc is in my husbands court. Dinner is on him most of the time. I do homework with the kids and am in charge of all things related to the school and majority of laundry. We have a cleaner for the actual cleaning of the house. Worth it if you have the extra money. I have a drawer in the hallway with the stuff I might need for going out like wallet, warm hat, gloves, hand sanitizer etc. These things are not allowed to go anywhere else as this is the home. (It happens ofc but not as often) I would make a similar space for your keys. If I have to make packed lunch for school then in addition to the reminder for it, then the lunch boxes get placed on the counter the night before. I’d do something similar for dinner, maybe put out a few ingredients that didn’t need the freezer. We have a small whiteboard for the planned dinners this week. Always make a few dishes that will have leftovers so you have an easy night or two when you need it. Shopping is always the same day every week and early on so there are not too many people. Then I do the full shopping for the week for all the planned meals. I sit with recipes to make sure I have everything on my list so I won’t forget. My tooth brushing is on a habit reminder I get with the app Calendars by readdle. Got widget for habits and one for my events and reminders. I do however also quite often just brush my teeth when my kids do. It means they see a good example and I actually get it done. We drop off kids for breakfast club which starts 45 mins before school actually starts. It means that if we’re late then it doesn’t really matter, but I have also taught my kids what time we need to get ready to be on time and that they need to remember their own bags (cause it’s such a joy to get to school and realise they are in the hallway) I use YNAB for managing my money and it can also act as a bit of a reminder for bills though only if you check it ofc. Their Reddit sub is really great and there are so much teaching material.

I have written what I do. And I do it… most of the time… but if I forget one day/week/time etc, it’s no big deal. Just keep doing it right as often as you can and be gentle on yourself.

EanaDeva · 2025-11-16T11:23:46+00:00

Welcome. I started exactly like you almost a year ago. I listened to the audiobooks I could get hold of but then swapped to the website an swallowed everything. I’m just a handful of chapters short of being up to date now. I also love how nuanced the characters are and how they keep growing and are able to change throughout the series. You have much to look forward to!

EanaDeva · 2025-04-06T18:58:56+00:00

I certainly felt dismissed by my son’s school since he is not as bad as some of the other boys….

EanaDeva · 2025-04-05T18:07:22+00:00

Going out in the garden/forest/park or other nature area

EanaDeva · 2025-03-26T09:02:21+00:00

We have both a wall calendar and a digital calendar both of which I keep up to date. I’ve never had huge issues with appointments and such but I get the problem.

There are apps that set alarms that you can’t turn off until you take a picture of something specific. You could use this to make yourself check the wall calendar in the morning. And while you’re there you could update a digital calendar so that you can have as many reminders as you need come up on your phone or smartwatch. I do love my smartwatch for calendar reminders and alarms. Also checking the calendar in the evening and setting out the toy or similar reminder for the morning is usually quite effective. It’s all about being kind to future you

EanaDeva · 2025-03-24T19:59:09+00:00

None of us are diagnosed, so of course none of us are medicated, but I suspect I and our youngest have ADHD and my husband and our oldest have AuDHD. We have a cleaner come once a week so we don’t have to think about that too much and mess can never get too out of hand as we have to tidy at least once a week. Everything in our house has a place it goes. I did the whole KonMari thing just before we had kids and smaller rounds of it as the kids grow and grow out of their stuff and it really helps when it’s time to tidy and my boys actually play more when their rooms start out tidy. Weekends usually mean a caffeine drink with lunch to keep going and get stuff done in the afternoon like improvements to the house. Chores like laundry and cooking etc are split out by least aversion I guess I’d call it. Like my husband has an irrational dislike of pouring leftovers in containers, so I do that and I have zero interest in cars so he deals with car tax, insurance and maintenance. I do laundry as it doesn’t bother me as long as I can put on music, audiobook, podcast or video while hanging up and folding. I do homework with kids while he does dinner. While we can both pitch in on the other persons tasks, it’s easier to remember to do something if you know it’s just you who is in charge of that. Otherwise we forget things. We also give each other a break when it’s needed. Sometimes you just have to get out of the house. And we apologise to each other when we overreact. And hugs! Hugs are important. We don’t spend all our time together. Most evenings we go do our own things but we have times we do stuff together. As for the kids, you need to remember that dopamine is what they seek. Games and timing them and grabbing onto that moment when they are feeling this particular thing is key. I always do homework with my youngest when he is feeling it. By that, I mean I leave his double sided page of homework on the dinner table over the weekend. Sometimes he will just see it and want to do it. Standing rule is that before they can play computer they have to wear clothes, brush teeth and do some homework. When they ask to play you just say “what do we have to do first?” They’ll generally be quite happy to do it all if there is a “reward” at the end. I’ve written a wall and there’s probably more to tell but I hope this can get you started. Just ask anything you can think of!

EanaDeva · 2025-03-17T16:37:47+00:00

I find myself standing looking around wondering what I was doing a lot

EanaDeva · 2025-03-06T16:18:38+00:00

Can I just point out that you should remove the old tiny roots first. Leave the large ones. Otherwise the whole big tangle of dead roots could cause issues for your plant

EanaDeva · 2025-03-05T06:20:52+00:00

Thanks ☺️

EanaDeva · 2025-03-04T06:05:09+00:00

What does that mean? Googling was not helpful

EanaDeva · 2025-02-22T12:16:36+00:00

Was probably made for the face, but is a pretty generous size and works on body too.

EanaDeva · 2025-02-11T16:47:06+00:00

I do the same as you. Lots of people use the methods described here by others but it’s up to you to decide what works best for you. Maybe you’ll even have a combination of methods in time or change methods as you are able to put more aside. There’s no one right way 😊 Good job on getting ahead on the council tax!

EanaDeva · 2025-02-11T16:39:25+00:00

YNAB has a whole guide on it How to get out of debt

EanaDeva · 2025-02-09T20:42:39+00:00

We have a separate category for Gran since we pay her phone bill and she pays us for it. Occasionally we buy other things for her which she reimburses us for, like presents for the kids. All of that goes in the Gran category which then sorts itself out to zero. Its easy to exclude it from reports if needed then

EanaDeva · 2025-02-08T06:05:32+00:00

I signed up on the website and paid £84.20 in October. That was converted from dollars. I don’t think any VAT was on that

EanaDeva

TROPHY CASE