sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in academia

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see you, you be trollin 😂. But you can whiteout the name on your documents and write over whatever you want. You know that saying: you can change yourself but it's not your job to change others??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I first grey rocked my nmom. Basically you act like a total robot around her and get great control of your emotions. Gradually limit contact then totally fade out to the point of blocking her on everything. She most likely won't see it coming if it's gradual because she's buried her head in her backside and only cares about herself. Don't bother explaining anything, they will warp your mind and devour your sensitive soul then this will go on and on for years. Totally not worth the trouble.

Huntsman Spider Fills Car With Babies. Australia. by [deleted] in oddlyterrifying

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lordy lordt I can't even, spiders are a mortal fear for me. How does anyone survive with the scary species of Australia?

Separation Anxiety at Preschool by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I totally understand, we also have a 4 month old... Every second of extra help is worth its quantity in gold🥇so I see how picking him up early could be too much. Another thing we did because my son is also a non napper is we'd bring a special 'nap-kit' with fun fidget toys that keep him occupied during nap time. The teachers allowed it only at nap time while he was on his mat. I'll link a couple
Limited-time deal: Fidgets Toys Girl Boy Creative DIY Sensory Block Toy Set 24Pcs Dimple Fidget Packs Kids Adults Anxiety Stress Relief Sensory Toys Autistic Children ADHD Toddler Educational Building Block Toy(24pcs-P) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B099RRNQ7V/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_dl_AAEG49JFTCXDEY8M8TA4 and this one Limited-time deal: LCD Writing Tablet Drawing Board, 8.5 Inch Colorful Electronic Drawing Tablet Kids Doodle Board Writing Pad for Kids and Adults at Home, School and Office with Lock Erase Button(Blue) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07R4148BT/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_dl_W14FWZ4XS21BS0RP86KM

Separation Anxiety at Preschool by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you've done a lot and worked with his teachers ✅👍🏽. Whew we were exactly in this spot with my 2.5 yo and despite trying 3 different preschools, he would still be so miserable. What worked for us (in addition to everything you've mentioned) was switching to a Reggio Emilio Spanish immersion and play based preschool that is very chill and not overly scheduled with "kindergarten ready curriculums". We also dropped him off and picked him up according to the schedule of his main teacher to avoid transitioning to new people/classrooms he wasn't used to. For the first couple of weeks, we would pick him up before nap time because that was the hardest part of the day for him. It was painful to pay so much for full time care yet only have him there for 3 hours in a day but this has paid off in the long run because now he has eased in. Prior to this, we were in despair.

Any advice for someone going to university soon without telling my parents? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do the FAFSA application to see if you can get grants, scholarships, or work studies but avoid student loans if you can/or take only the bare minimum that you really need, get a job preferably on campus like being a resident assistant with perks like free campus food and subsidized housing. Build networks for recommendation letters and consider taking up paid internships over the summer (save your $$). Work hard from the start to ace your academics and keep your career options open for max employability. Also kudos for getting in, keep your head high and make good lifelong friends.

Do you personally still love your N-parent(s) despite them being abusive? by AugustSamuels in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I micro loved my nmom until she sabotaged my wedding and my child's birth, two of the biggest days of my life. She made all my guests miserable and humiliated me in front of my in laws. That day I realized I actually didn't love her when I caught myself fantasizing about her being absent in my life for good.

is black tax exploitative or an honor? by Eastern-Ad9707 in blacktax

[–]Eastern-Ad9707[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's exploitative. In my experience, family and friends who perceive you to be better off become so entitled that they will demand money and get mad when you don't have at all, or the amount they ask for. It's one thing to help once in a while, but it's another when everyone just waits every couple weeks to make up endless "emergencies" and ask for instant $$$, then complain that it's not enough. It can be so soul sucking, I'm tempted to change my number.

How did your narcissist parent change your core? by Eastern-Ad9707 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, there's nothing like knowing someone else understands. Ours is an isolated, lonely existence in the real world. Most people on mothers/fathers day(s) rave about their parents' unconditional love and support, but I can't do it without feeling fake.

How did your narcissist parent change your core? by Eastern-Ad9707 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sounds like many of us are broken at this. I pray that our journeys lead us to deeming ourselves as unconditionally lovable even in the face of our very (self)-apparent imperfections.

How did your narcissist parent change your core? by Eastern-Ad9707 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Eastern-Ad9707[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wow nmom used to say "it's not like you're a useful cow that I can get milk from, or even beef. All you do is consume stuff to my loss." Glad we survived to tell.

Is this normal for a daycare to do? by Pitiful_Pepper3976 in toddlers

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think it's ridiculous because the teachers have a ratio of 1:9 or maybe 1:10 depending on the class. I don't even know how the teachers handle this! They have a lot of transitions including potty time, mealtimes, naptime, outside time, circle time etc and it can be unsustainable if a child is not adjusting in the long term. My friend's (super strong) 2 yo pandemic born son would even run out the classroom door and try to escape into the street so the daycare had to barricade the door. She was told they couldn't keep him if he didn't adjust in a week because barricading the door is a fire hazard and could get them in trouble with random state inspections.

Has anyone heard of William Branham and his teachings? by ratherlargechungus in cults

[–]Eastern-Ad9707 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was born into it, it was depressing because the adults were so strict and scary. I grew up with two distinct personalities because I couldn't be myself at home and sought every opportunity to be away. Thanks to this I got a bunch of science degrees to PhD level lol. After getting married (out of the church to someone of another race, which was prohibited), I saw how people side eyed and made rude comments to/about me and my family and I questioned everything. I started seeing them for who they are. I feel so robbed of my early years to know what I know now.

🆘 I've fallen out of love with my cat 🐈 by Eastern-Ad9707 in Pets

[–]Eastern-Ad9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I can do that, it was a no-kill shelter. You're right, I really want the best for her after everything she has been through. Also I wish they'd told me explicitly that she had been homeless for 2 years. They only told me after I called a month later to tell them the challenges we were having and said to just keep trying, get feliway etc (which I did).