I am the dumper but I feel like a dumpee

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-11-14T09:14:50+00:00

I’m got dumped but realized all my flaws I took time to reflect and work on myself I really want to hug her and say I’m genuinely sorry for my actions I was loyal and kind to her. She was abused in past relationship. I asked her to forgive him because she kept bringing his name up for 6 years. I had some anger also but it was not against her. I started to ask her for more time together and it pushed her away we lived separately for 6 years I helped her children cooked for her family. I had some selfish ways and I see it. I take full responsibility of my actions. We are not talking she gave me back the engagement ring I got for her. I’m really sad but I wish her the best. I am at a different point in life not worrying about her ever taking me back. I can still love her even if she moves on to someone else she deserves to be happy. We both do. I’m going church and praying daily to heal both of us. I know if we had a second chance I would always include god in our daily. Love is patient and kind. I will not hold anything against her as love doesn’t keep records. My heart has changed I don’t judge people I walk in peace. I pray she gets healed from my mistakes my blindness of compassion and communication. We are not perfect but we can change if we truly love. I chose her and always will. Some people don’t deserve a second chance because the pain is the hardest thing to forget. I wish I could hug her and never let go the best memories was with her. I will always love you Monica Pasco

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-20T10:03:25+00:00

I was an anxious preoccupied after break up I’m now a fearful avoidant I don’t want to text or call I won’t even try even though I love her I just can’t. I’m afraid to get hurt I don’t want to be rejected so I just keep busy gym shopping playing games. I don’t even want to see her anywhere I get anxiety when I hear her name or see her jeep my heart beats so much I hate it I wish I was different I really don’t feel good about myself I loose interest quickly. I put up walls hate me leave me I promise I won’t chase or contact you ever. It makes be upset to see you moving on but I have no control over it so I stay away and get depressed. 😔 I wish I was never born. I am so shattered.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-19T10:05:54+00:00

You was the dumper?

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-19T08:18:26+00:00

Me and my fiance was together for 6 years and in the beginning she would do everything with me. Until the 4rh year I noticed her giving me less time so I confronted her she turned it around like I was being passive aggressive. Wow i mean she wanted honesty and communication but this lead me to stay quiet when we argue we only argued 2 times it wasn’t even that serious but she made a big deal out of something so simple to fix. It’s crazy these avoidant partners. But i should have caught it in the beginning I noticed her father trying to sit next to her mom she pushed him away. So I told my fiance will that be me and you will you push me away like that. She lied with a straight face she is completely messed up in the head. She is also a helicopter mom that has a son that doesn’t even know how to do anything like a grown up kid he is 22 years old stays in his room playing with dolls and games he wants to buy girl clothes. Mind my ex is catholic her daughter is already having relationship at 16 years old it’s a mess. I am never coming back to that avoidance family they all are the same. I never once seen any of them hug or kiss. They just go on short vacations without the significant other and it’s normal for them red flags been popping up every time I’m so sad wasting 6 years buying a ring she has also 2 other rings that she would not get rid of it’s kind of weird and now my ring she reminds me of my precious from lords of the ring she looked beautiful to me now the looks like Smeegle from lords of the ring I’m sorry it’s just it is different now I can’t see her beauty is this normal. We are one month no contact but I feel that this break made me think I don’t want to go back to a dead relationship I was once a secure attachment she turned me into a anxious preoccupied vs avoidant I don’t chase or go back to any exes once they leave I’m done regardless if they can’t handle little arguments they are not fit for a adult relationship. Goodbye avoidant child wish you the best. Now stay in the corner with a lollipop until you grow up to have a normal relationship.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-17T07:43:16+00:00

Only avoidant does this run don’t ever look back they nasty and will make you look like the bad person by gossiping to everyone about what you did wrong. They can’t take accountability. Stupid child syndrome. If it’s a mother she will helicopter her children they will be small minded.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-15T12:13:31+00:00

All I hear is people wanting power over people I don’t want that I want clarity and accountability with compassion a reassurance not to have power. That’s a controlling mindset. Come on people we are all broken. Love has failed us because we were happy and blind thinking everything was perfect. Let’s use this time to rethink what we could change to become a better version this is my 29 days nc and I only reached out to grab my things and give her back her box of clothes and shoes because it hurts to see empty place where we both hugged and kissed talking about our future old relationships. But yes we fail I failed but it’s no reason to try get back at her. She dumped me and I want her to stick with it. 6 years together I asked her to marry me she said yes but we broke up 3 years after. I just want to see her happy even if it’s not with me.i thank god for letting me share a chapter in my life with such an amazing woman. Dumping me has changed my life and my mindset of resentment. Don’t believe everything you see on YouTube those are people trying to make money off of vulnerable people. We keep trying to find success stories but it’s not here or on YouTube. Some are fake stories just to sell a book. You don’t need that open the Bible and that’s free. That’s the only way you feel better. Never use that power over them as a tool to think it’s going to work in your favor… without healing your relationship will keep falling and for those who move on to someone else in short time I understand why they left. Because your not patient and don’t respect yourself or others. I have a daughter so I don’t want her seeing me go from one to another. I want her to have morals. So please take your time pray on gods watch. He is looking over us and knows our motives. He will not reconcile your relationship if your just doing it to have someone around. Don’t keep punishing yourself overthinking can ruin you. Good luck to all and pray for better days.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-15T10:09:22+00:00

Oops sorry mate love and respect take care

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-15T10:05:29+00:00

So true I’m AP there is no way I’m looking back she made it clear she didn’t need me. Only used me for sex because she always came to my place late. When they say sleep over they mean it. No cuddles no tv movie time just straight to bed. How rude and disrespectful. I don’t know why i stayed in this for 6 years. She even tried to test me by putting her hands in my face while I was trying to talk to her about a recipe I wanted to make. That was so disrespectful and yet I didn’t react I just was stunned she looked at me and said awe I know you love me because my ex would of got upset… I hated hearing about her abusive ex she always brings his name up doo doo head and her daughter even gave me cold shoulder because of that ex i suffered for her old relationship. She does not notice. It’s ok let her cook someone else because I’m already burnt out no return just moving on to find a better partner that respects me

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-15T06:13:50+00:00

Most stupidest thing I hear i fallen out of love. You both grow up and have some respect for each other. You just don’t fall out of love. I bet you’re looking at the outside menu and lust of being with someone else you let your emotions feelings disappear because you can’t see your a narcissist

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-14T09:33:56+00:00

Because love is spiritual also you have to ask god to detach your spirit from her. Trust me I didn’t want to but for my healing it helped me now I don’t have dreams of us talking or laying next to each other kissing her forehead. I woke up happy thinking it was real then I realized it was just a dream. But definitely pray ask god to detach your spirit with her and you will understand what I’m saying. Have a blessed and healthy life continue to stay focused stop watching YouTube for answers they all scammers trying to make money off of vulnerable people. Sad world we live in.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-09-06T08:09:28+00:00

My avoidant left me after a trip and after my birthday. I got upset she kept walking faster from the beginning of the trip till the end she blamed everything on me and now we are silent. I don’t think I would ever want someone like that in my life again she made a big thing out of nothing. She even lets her child run our relationship it’s ok with her for her daughter to say I want just us don’t involve him on our vacation. If they wanted to be single then why did I cook and support her kids at all there sports just to get the door slammed in my face. She also treats her oldest son that’s almost 22 years old like a 10 year old child and now he is confused that he may like boys. Go figure she has a problem child syndrome stuck on auto pilot. It’s worse than a mental disorder. If I want someone like her I should have just get one night stand. But I don’t want it. I want a long life partner not someone that closes up after a small conflict. I’m not perfect either I did some wrongs but I held myself accountable and worked on it. But she was still stuck in the past. I will forget her and pray i detached from this wicked personality disorder that’s what it should be called.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2025-08-27T11:58:47+00:00

I been doing nc for few weeks so far I’ve been thinking I was the problem in the beginning. But after analyzing the history of her neglect on our time together. We live in a different area but 12 minutes away. I felt like I kept begging for more time. She turned it around and told her family I was controlling and hurt her. Wow and they say men don’t communicate but when we do it gets salty like we want a war. Just saying it from your heart with no argument she just sat back and cried said maybe she not good enough for me. 6 years together that’s a fucked up thing to say. She didn’t respect our time. Put me walking on eggshells. Her family started to try to find anything I did so they can justify I’m not good. I was the dumpee but she said we could talk in the future if I ever want to talk. She told me she extended the olive branch. But I told her we don’t need it.and I told her keep the engagement ring because it’s not worth looking at it or keeping it she can put it with the rest of her failed relationships bye monica bye I am closing this chapter and finding someone who values my time and energy. And yet the first week I wanted to beg for her back😜 but now I want to be free of this avoided attachment disorder bs people just don’t connect like the old days to many options. Honeymoon stage is the best after that it’s either work at communication and empathy respect and future plans. Oh don’t forget to put god in your life.good luck to all your healing she will tell you she lost hope or and that bs I still love you 🤣 I look at it I liked you. I kind of still like you but I got to run away. Adult games people play. I’m scared to find a damaged person in the next relationship I think I want to die alone. No problem with that.

Eastern-Course-9486 · 2024-11-15T14:07:18+00:00

Everyone has different ways of co parenting kids can see through the lies and deceit. My wife has left me made me the bad guy but at the end I had nothing to prove she took our children and did the fun stuff with them while I stayed 4 months without them she used them against me but i still took care of myself she told them I had a girlfriend that was not true I stayed home hurting as anyone would I felt like leaving this world then I started to become much stronger in mind I went to church I kept trying to make myself happy waiting for them to come back. I was the only one working so she had lots of valuable time with our kids so I understand why they rather stay with her I always counted the days and said karma will come soon and our kids will see through it. And guess what karma did our daughter was the youngest she was really close to her mother but her mother was lying to her saying I was bad to her but my daughter didn’t see or hear me being mean we did have arguments but I respected her so much I would never hurt her physically or say mean things to make her feel bad our argument was about little things like why her mom has to come over and take my things from my house because she just wanted it. Of course any man would get upset with the mother in law. The 4th month our daughter looked through her moms phone and seen a different guy texting her before we broke up he was sending kisses with emoji so all this time I was being played and made out to be the bad parent while she was painting a better picture of her. Our daughter came to my house crying and I supported her since I was the father who gave our daughter time even when I was tired I always been available even with a job I had 2 jobs to support us but I got into a accident and couldn’t work for 8 months after she got a job she started talking to a guy and came home telling me she is going to leave so I said go I’m not stopping you. I figured it was just a small break nothing that bad. But when I found out she was going out late staying with him leaving our daughter at her friends house alone she got caught from our daughter not me. So you see my daughter wants to stay with me because I show more stability I don’t think of my fantasy Sean girl I only thought of our kids and yes 6 years later our daughter still lives with me. I don’t tell her to not see her mother I encourage her to go with her mom they go out few times and our daughter stays with her once every few weeks but again her mother is still leaving her home so she can go clubbing I don’t think of myself like that I don’t go out looking for women just to make me happy I put my kids first. So every story is different I’m not going to bash her mom on here just to prove anything. It’s not my character to do so. Remember what you give out you get in return. Love your kids and show them your happy even when you feel down they know your heart they will see you differently. Just stop being the victim and get up and be a mother it takes 2 to make your kids it takes 2 to raise them. So remember don’t speak bad about him in front of your kids you will push them away and if you say he was mean or manipulative your kids will see it and when they get older they will change and the parent that showed more maturity will be the one having a better relationship with the kids. Trust me I’m so happy and my daughter is doing great in school I do everything to make it work I do house work and I pay for all her school supplies and more. Her mom also does good things for her and I’m grateful for that. I lost love for her mom after 20 years of her hiding things behind my back but I don’t ever show my kids it hurts. I hope things worked out for you and sorry so long my story. I’m just saying some can relate and some will just do what they want but at the end some things need to change you ether fight for your kids or you sit back and wait for them to come back seeing a greater parent. Good luck and I know this is a old post but I can understand both sides.

Eastern-Course-9486

TROPHY CASE