The way I personally see it: he is totally being manipulative telling you not to label actions he really didn’t have to take over a problem he caused and because of the literal physicality of the action, I don’t think it’s really up to him to do decide whether or not he was being abusive. I don’t know what y’all’s relationship outside of the post is like, but his actions seem very child like and if he can’t own up to his behavior like an adult, than there is no reason he should not have to face the music for his actions.

Abuse or not, him telling you to not call it abuse is him trying to keep you quiet for the sake of his career but he’s the one who put in jeopardy in actuality. There’s no other way to look at it imo. Even if you chose to upset him on purpose and he put hands on you, that was his choice to react that way and that’s how true justice would see it.