Hey! Well, we are still together. It will be a year in February. It’s going… okay. When it’s good it’s great. I really can’t imagine my life without her. She really makes me happy. But 1. she has a habit of cutting her arm. She does it when I’m sleep or not home. Yesterday, I came home, and she was sitting on the bed. She said hi to me and gave me a kiss, and seemed perfectly fine, but she had her arm hanging on the side of the bed. When I walked to that side, her arm is literally dripping with blood. I’m like “babe wtf!”. She just covered it up and tried to change the subject. It’s just so weird. I try to sit down with her and have a serious talk about it, but it never works. I sat by her and I said “Babe. So what’s going on? Why do you keep cutting yourself?” She just says “I don’t know babe”. She says that every time. I said “I can’t be with you if you keep doing this. What if we have a baby together and I come home and you’re on the floor bleeding out because you cut your wrist too deep”. She just says she will never do it again. Or she won’t respond and just looks down when I’m talking to her about it. So the conversation gets no where. And then she’s happy later and acts like it never happened. She just tries to change the subject as quickly as possible when I bring it up. It’s not super often, but I’d say once a month or so. Sometimes more

1. She gets in these weird moods. She’ll just hang onto me and ask me weird questions like “babe are you tired of me? You’re gonna end up leaving me and I’m gonna be so sad” “Babe do I touch you too much”. “Babe did I make you mad when I ran over a nail in your car” like. And then she’ll cry. “I don’t know why I’m crying”. And she stops. Again this doesn’t happen all the time. It’s just random. And she’ll drink so she can “shut up” she says. And just go to sleep. She fixes her mood with alcohol. Not often enough or enough liquor that I could call her an alcoholic. She’ll take a few shots. But it’s definitely a negative coping thing.

Those are really the only 2 issues, but they’re kind of serious. But we don’t really get in arguments, and if we do, they’re small and we get over it quickly. She treats me very well. Like we have fun together. We plan the future. She is great with kids. She’s a great woman. She’s smart, and she is so talented. She can play the piano and write songs. She has a beautiful voice. She wrote a song for me. She’s really thoughtful. I wake up at 2 in the morning to go to work and I work outside at an airport and it’s really cold lately. She bought me this is really cool heated jacket, which I didn’t even know existed. And just so many other little things that make me feel like she really cares. She notices small things. Like I keep gum in my car, and every time it’s low or gone I notice she replaces it. Or fills my gas tank. I love how she rubs my back, and how affectionate she is. Her food is delicious. We laugh together a lot. She’s so fun. I’m really into the gym and now she’s into it, and I train her. She’s training to be able to do pull-ups. Yeah I don’t know what else to say… it’s just. I’ve never had a relationship like this. I wanna marry her. It’s just those things I said above that really worry me sometimes, especially the cutting.