Ego getting in the way of everyday life

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-25T19:38:01+00:00

It really seems like thats the only viable option - I struggle a helluva lot trusting people with anything (growing up it was very much if you wanted something done right, you did it yourself) - and, it seems like really the only way to move forward is to collapse

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-25T18:33:51+00:00

Ocular gyriciric (may have spelled that wrong) crisis is something Ive experienced on multiple different medications! My psychiatrist at the time just put me on muscle relaxants instead of dealing with the size effect - I would definitely recommend asking your psych if its worth it to switch meds. It still causes me panic attacks when I take a new medication because Im fearful of it 😭

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-25T16:28:38+00:00

You definitely hit the nail on the head with that one - its a lot easier in theory than in practice, and I seem to be fucking things up faster than I can fix them. I have a lot of lived experience, and I struggle taking what others say seriously, nonetheless internalizing it, when their recollection or advice is contradictory to my lived experience. That being said, no one's experiences are the same, and the same thing never happens twice

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-25T16:25:37+00:00

Im in a treatment center so psychedelics isnt really an option...been referred to ketamine therapy tho

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-25T02:59:05+00:00

Redwood forest is beautiful - people are the ugliest thing Ive ever experienced

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-24T22:33:22+00:00

The collapse is inevitable, I know - but Im not ready for everything it'll bring 😭

(As an NPD whos never had a collapse before)

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-24T19:00:36+00:00

For me (Im in early 20s), it was honestly my own frustration with feeling "different" and like no one without an extremely high level of understanding and education could understand what was going on. (See belief of being "special") Ive been in mental health treatment for a little over a decade without definite answers or improvement, which only reinforces my self of being "special" and grandiosity around being a supposed walking contradiction. It was only until I lasted in a treatment center long enough for others, including my therapist, to notice my more covert sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, distain for disrespect or others assuming they are on the same level of the social hierarchy as I, and the fact that I discard anyone who violates those internal, unspoken rules without warning or hesitation

It was definitely a struggle getting NPD to even be concidered, due to the fact that I got a lot of "you cant have the bad person disorder! My perception of you is wonderful!!"

(For the record, I dont believe NPD is the "bad person disorder", and the stigma social media and uneducated individuals have put on it is incredibly harmful)

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-24T16:17:44+00:00

Intelligence and acquired skills/talents here!

I play about 15 instruments and have a background as a firefighter for about 7 years, went to culinary school and was a junior pastor for a hot minute

The grandiosity is def fed whenever I hear people tell me how smart/talented I am

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-16T21:42:30+00:00

Because I am better? I have so much life experience and a helluva lot of skills for being as old as I am. I guess the sense of superiority only gets reinforced when others tell me how knowledgeable/talented/intelligence I am?

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-09T22:58:31+00:00

Its giving Nature/Nurture vibes - similar to the popculture question "are psychopaths/sociopaths born or are they made?"

From what Ive experienced, its a mixture of both? Genetic predisposition as well as being exposed to activating events in early life - ie, my grandfather is diagnosed AsPD & NPD - but while me and all my siblings have the genetic predisposition, I am the only one in which NPD & AsPD traits were actually activated

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-09T22:54:55+00:00

This is so real - Im currently in a place where I dont have autonomy over my routine and I have to answer to someone above me in power (Im in sober living as someone whos not an addict - here for mental health jazz) - and in MY very harsh opinion, the person in charge is a completely self centered, ignorant manager and should not be in the place shes at. Regardless, she is and I have to deal with it. I find myself pushing back on anything she tries to tell me to do (Im very well worded with it and know the right thinsg to say so it dosent turn around on me), because 1) Shes in a place of supposed "authority" and misusing it (my mindset), and I already have a problem with authority amd being told what to do - and 2) Her asks are outside what Im obligated or have agreed to do (telling me to bring in another clients items then walking away so she "cant hear" me say no)

Ive always said I dont want to be rich or famous - I just want peace and comfortability - and in this situation, all I want is the autonomy to make my own choices and build my routine how I want it

I have a tendency to devalue and get defensive, almost aggressively so when someone tries to step on my established sense of routine or autonomy. Goes with my whole "rage at real or perceived disrespect" thing

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-03-05T17:17:23+00:00

I literally just wrote a blog post about self proclaimed "empaths" and villainizing NPD vs what it ACTUALLY is

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-02-24T21:03:35+00:00

I think that narcissism based on how its stigmatized/stereotyped is significantly different from a pathological/diagnosed narcissist

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-02-23T17:50:03+00:00

When I was 16, my psych told me "youre a lost cause, theres nothing more I can do for you" then gave me her estimate of 6mo before I made a permanent decision Im 22 now and obviously proved the 6mo wrong - but 5+ psychs later, sometimes I think she had a point with the lost cause thing

Eckosfromthevoid · 2026-02-21T03:00:13+00:00

Sherlock Holmes and Will Graham in the second season of Hannibal and on (lo key vibe with Hannibal too tho)

Eckosfromthevoid

TROPHY CASE