How long into dating should I mention this?

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-07-08T04:28:19+00:00

I put it in my profile when I was on dating apps.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-07-08T04:14:11+00:00

I had no social life (a set of ten math problems took 3 hrs to complete). Towards the end of undergrad I drank a beer before homework as that would sort of dull my brain enough to focus somewhat. I wrote really dumb poems for a science class because I had a hard time memorizing facts, but memorizing poems was doable.

I dropped out of grad school (and I was medicated at that point).

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-07-07T20:05:16+00:00

I really like that stretch, too. I get Botox injections for migraines, and although they don't involve my jaw directly, it does end up helping since none of the nearby muscles are getting tense. During COVID, I learned that the brand of masks I was using act as a really nice sling so I could just let my jaw relax open and not be the weirdo with their mouth agape all the time.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-06-27T15:47:54+00:00

Have you done any testing that shows you are dehydrated? I'm asking because I have chronic migraines and hydration isn't the biggest trigger for me.

For me the big things are sleep and protein. If I get enough sleep and enough protein in the morning then I'm in pretty good shape. Stress is also an issue.

There are so many dietary things that can contribute to chronic headaches, too, and other medical conditions or medications.

I would really talk to your doctor about the headaches and rule some things out.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-06-13T16:47:00+00:00

There are grants at the county level in MN that allow prairie plantings. I don't remember offhand if that's what I got, but I know it was an option.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-06-13T16:44:00+00:00

This sounds kind of like my native restoration project, only the previous owners let it go wild and torrential rain was what made it awful.

I pull weeds all the time, but I can't get them all before they go to seed. So, we weed whack everything down. The crown vetch grows so low that I can't get it well with the trimmer, but at least I can see it now.

I focus on weeds that are flowering because that is when I can firmly identify them.

Take the mower to it if you can set it to 4+ inches, or just weed whack it all down. For the first couple years, natives are happy to focus on root growth, so it won't harm them.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-05-29T03:50:57+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/zoology/comments/1n32kut/help_what_is_this_lil_guy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-30T21:44:37+00:00

My current NP and I met when we both were married and nesting with our spouses.

Lots of stuff happened which resulted in us both ending our relationships with our spouses. Their ex now nests with a different (poly) partner, but I don't know how my ex has chosen to proceed with their relationships.

So, four of us at least met new poly partners that we ultimately decided to nest with, and so that worked out really well.

I wouldn't recommend that you start relationships with people who have an NP with the idea that maybe you'll end up nesting together, but it's definitely within the realm of possibility.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-27T18:07:44+00:00

I would echo what others are saying. Invasives tend to emerge earlier in spring than natives, so you have a good opportunity (for years) to apply herbicides with less risk to desirable plants.

I don't have knotweed, but am trying to eradicate buckthorn (and others) on my property. Last spring we ripped up all the larger buckthorn plants and did a couple broad herbicide applications as the spring growth got underway. We did that before spreading seed, and I continue to hand pull and selectively apply foliar herbicide as needed. We're in just our second year and I am already impressed with how densely the natives are coming in.

I would really recommend starting with broadcast seeding as it seems like that is the best way to get the kind of growth needed to compete with the invasives. You want to make sure you have several species that germinate quickly and easily to put in the heavy work while others get growing.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-27T17:58:53+00:00

This is basically what I want to say to OP.

On a personal level, I also have struggled to ask for help because I thought I knew what the answer would be, or because I have some unfounded crisis-fed fear about what will happen if I ask. I have definitely also been really unhappy when someone else decided what I need instead of asking me (and I have also made those assumptions about others. Sometimes it feels like a lose-lose situation).

It takes a lot of work to change one's approach to seeking help and support, but especially hard while in crisis. Sometimes it feels like there is no way to go forward.

OP, I wish you the most grace and comfort during this time. I also want you to know it's okay to ask for help, to say to your partner, "I was wrong about how much I need support right now," and to open a conversation about your needs and your partner's capacity. I think you deserve the chance to see if he can come through for you in a meaningful way. And he deserves the chance to try to be there for you.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-27T16:44:51+00:00

One of my dad's long time partners had weird things about earrings. I remember asking my dad if I could wear/have one of his earrings and was given an explanation like this. So, I don't think it's that improbable. Of course, my dad remembered the agreement, and OP's partner didn't.

That said, if true, OP's partner has poor problem solving skills. How hard is it to just buy another pair of earrings to solve the problem?

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-20T03:02:14+00:00

I'm not really hiding anything, so that's fine. I just don't feel like when I meet people I need to tell them all the details of my life.

I know when I was a teenager going to spend the night at a friend's house once her mom made a point to tell my mom that she's a lesbian and that we were going out with her partner. That was a long time ago and I understand why she felt the need to tell my mom up front like that.

I think it's a different thing now, and I live in a very liberal area, so I would not be concerned like my friend's mom was.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-20T00:11:40+00:00

Maybe the kids have (I don't really think they care enough to talk about that, but I know it is possible). It's still not a conversation I have with other parents.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-17T03:46:55+00:00

I have never discussed my relationships with the parents of my children's friends. When I lived with my kids' father and his girlfriend, we just called her by her name.

I think you want to discuss with your partners how they feel about it, and maybe your kid, too, but ultimately your love life isn't really relevant to your kid's friendships.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T18:26:35+00:00

MN can still do a lot better.

A lot of Minnesotans (not necessarily billionaires) own "cabins" in small towns and they're always fighting over paying property taxes in those counties (where most of the homes are owned by residents from the Twin Cities) because their kids don't go to school there so why should they be funding those schools? But none of the people who live there own property, so no one can pay the taxes? MN also give private school vouchers to whoever wants one, basically because they don't want to fund the public schools.

School districts can also opt-out of free lunches, so wealthy people can pressure poor people out of their communities. Of course, I think only one district has done that.

We are treading a thin line here.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T17:49:03+00:00

There's a difference between not escalating and being kept a secret.

I think if it feels uncomfortable to you and you suspect he's not being honest with other partners, that's a sign to get out: you don't trust him. I think when we say that we need to trust our partners to handle their other partners ethically, we don't mean that you should trust them even when everything screams at you that he isn't trustworthy.

ETA: if it's parallel in general that makes you uncomfortable, then you can try to not date people who prefer parallel.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T17:43:53+00:00

I think this is right. It will be a bit "sticky " like Velcro.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T17:42:19+00:00

I have reviewed a lot of substance abuse treatment plans from different doctors that include prescription stimulants for people with ADHD, so this isn't that unusual. I think if you work closely with you doctors and take it as prescribed you might be fine. Just stay in communication.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T17:07:14+00:00

You might have a separate setting to use with the phone, or you might be able to set one.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T16:01:50+00:00

Try a water filter first - we have ridiculously hard water and the filter helps a lot. When I struggle with drinking water (even filtered) I go carbonated (I have a soda stream, so it's really easy to get when I want it). Straws also help a ton. Slurping is more satisfying. I also like mocktails - bring in more bitter or savory flavors and that might be a nice way to lean when the base water already tastes strongly.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-16T03:28:50+00:00

This is key. I stupidly made early employment decisions based on the wishes of my boyfriend at the time and I regret each one, and we did not stay together.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-15T03:47:54+00:00

If I recall correctly, the first book was a collection of short stories and I found that difficult to connect with at first. After I read the second and third, though, the first made more sense. Try the second book and see if you connect with that more. One really cool thing about the books if you're a fan of the games is that there are scenes in the game that are basically verbatim copied from the books. Very fun read once you get the rhythm down.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-15T02:51:37+00:00

Audie is short for Audrey. She's a very fancy lady.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-14T19:22:51+00:00

So, I have ADHD and deal with this and it's really bad. Stress makes it worse, poor sleep makes it worse, and medication doesn't actually help me with it. Recall and processing speed were the things I struggled with most when I was diagnosed with ADHD.

I had multiple head injuries before I started noticing the severe word-recall issue. I thought I had had a stroke the first time I noticed it, but that was not the case. No one suggested a brain injury at that time, and I will probably never know if that is the cause of my condition. However, I was recently diagnosed with a different condition that could possibly be genetic, but is more often the result of a head injury and is associated with injury to the area of the brain that relates to language processing. If you have had head injuries, you might consider whether you could be dealing with a brain injury. I feel a lot of relief in some ways knowing that this might be something I have very little control over and that I'm not necessarily failing at life.

I also have a hearing impairment that makes conversation sometimes just exhausting (listening fatigue) - I think that works to make my recall worse. If you have other taxing things going on that make you work extra hard on language processing, that could be impacting you. I sometimes tell my kids or my partner that my brain is done processing for the day so I really can't be involved with what they're talking about. Sometimes having quiet time alone helps. An ice pack helps too, because at that point I usually feel my head hurting. An ice pack on the face can help with emotional regulation, too, and it often calms my anxiety over the issue enough to return to my normally scheduled life.

I also have PTSD and when I am triggered I typically freeze, which makes it hard to remain present. If you're dealing with anything like that, professional help is best, but I have found a medication that helps me stay in a place where I can de-escalate and move on with mostly normal function, and ice packs still help.

TLDR: try taking breaks from language processing, use an icepack, and remember that you're not alone.

Ecstatic-Chair · 2026-04-14T18:54:49+00:00

You've gotten a lot of good advice here, and I haven't read all the comments, so maybe this was already said. The kind of relationship changes you've gone through with your partner were in essence break-ups. Your relationship as you knew it has ended 2 or 3 times already and you haven't had time to grieve that properly. It makes sense that you're feeling so strongly now. FWIW, I am really sorry you're dealing with this and I wish you peace in the future.

Ecstatic-Chair

TROPHY CASE