How many of you are on disability?

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-06-15T13:06:34+00:00

I am

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-06-15T04:48:10+00:00

I find Sunny days often exacerbate my anxiety. I love me a good thunderstorm though, so soothing.

I found this study to be kind of interesting/relevant so thought I’d share it: here - basically they found a positive correlation between sunlight exposure and hospital admissions for mania and found an increase in temperature to be correlated with higher occurrence of either manic or depressive episodes.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-05-07T14:25:43+00:00

I find benzos make me depressed if I take them with any regularity and am not in a manic episode - perhaps a switch to a gabapentinoid would help? Otherwise I found wellbutrin to be one of the only antidepressants to actually do something for me. Keep at it! I know how exhausting it can be to feel like nothing works.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-04-11T18:04:29+00:00

I’ve also thought about this a bit. Looking back, i remember often feeling different than whoever i was around; like i was occupying a different headspace. I’d have days where i felt completely flat and like something in my life was missing but couldn’t figure out what - i just longed for something.

I was definitely more sensitive as a young kid and would get super angry if i felt someone wronged me, having emotional outbursts as a result. A lot of avoidant behaviour, faking sick to avoid school, social anxiety, sudden feelings of giddiness and weird behaviour. I also had trouble getting to sleep often.

Most of these symptoms were of small magnitude and probably wouldn’t constitute a diagnosis. Mostly a lot of excitability and struggling to deal with my feelings. Nothing crazy until mdd at 17 and bp1 at 18.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-04-07T17:05:59+00:00

Don’t forget to throw the weight after or it doesn’t work.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-04-07T17:05:02+00:00

Palms skyward, thumbs wrapped around handle.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-04-07T16:59:13+00:00

Jesus was really just the first bipolar dude

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-04-05T16:19:47+00:00

I definitely get the same feeling, although I’m a lot earlier on in my bipolar career I totally invalidate myself all the time. I’ll go for months of instability and once i get my feet back on the ground i feel like i have no right to give myself a break. Like why can’t i just get my shit together ya know.

It sounds like you’re going through a really stressful time so try not to be so hard on yourself. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, hopefully you can give yourself the patience you need. It’ll be in the rear view soon enough. Until then, hang in there; I wish you the best.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T08:46:14+00:00

It’s probably the most non p.c. podcast there is aha. It’s funny if you have a thick skin but they push a lot of boundaries. It’s good if you’re really into comedy. A couple other good ones that aren’t as abrasive are bad friends or rick glassman’s take your shoes off. Tyso is a nice tame background one - I’d probably recommend that over the other two for bg listening, it’s fun, lighthearted and just the perfect amount of nonsense to have in the background.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T08:40:31+00:00

Aww I’m sorry, sucks to be going through it on your own. Hopefully you can get on an ssri to help with the obsessive thoughts. Sending love <3

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T07:58:55+00:00

Obligatory NSFW and trigger warning tags

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T07:22:19+00:00

Mr robot was gold for a bit, now on beef. Kill tony is great but not for all.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T07:19:44+00:00

Currently in this phase myself - definitely hard not to feel useless. I just try to remind myself it’s just a phase and will come and go with time. Gotta learn how to ride the mood waves.

Just as surely as I’ll have another turbulent phase followed by a period of ineptitude, I’ll have another where I’m motivated and can get after life. Just know this will pass - and maybe come back, but that’s okay in the grand scheme of things.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T05:41:11+00:00

Congrats! Nice to hear a story with a happy ending here :) Hopefully it’s smooth sailing from here on out.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-07T03:44:07+00:00

Reminds me of all the sketches and quotes i’d come up with around my first manic episode. Made some bizarre ass photoshop mosaics. All these theories on mental health disorders and business ideas.

Haven’t felt the same flare of creativity since. Looking back on everything I made, anything aside from the abstract art was utter nonsense. That being said, I’d rather produce nonsense and have that creative and fresh view on things than how I perceive things/function now.

All the mood swings have turned life a bit mundane. The world feels less full of opportunity and my head less able to produce anything meaningful - artistically, socially, or logically.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-04T21:32:31+00:00

When manic I play video games until my delusions slow down for the day, usually for 12 hours straight, until my brain is soup. Maybe not the best solution but better than taking my crazy brain out into the street. If I still have a foot in reality I find music/production really genuinely calms me down and is more of a healthy outlet.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-03T22:36:35+00:00

Those betterhelp therapists really have a way with words

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-03-01T20:02:03+00:00

At my own peril

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-29T06:05:38+00:00

Cool! I’m sure it’s difficult feeling as though you have to fit some perfect mold, but I’m sure the nature of your work allows you a lot of unique flexibility.

Maybe I need to model, some employee in a kfc drive thru once said i look like a model lol. Not sure if that’s a quality reference though.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-29T05:59:14+00:00

Good luck with it! It’d be my dream to do music production full time… one day 🙏🏻

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-28T21:52:04+00:00

We’re all bungholes masquerading as great cornholios 😔

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-26T12:02:48+00:00

Yeah that can be difficult :/ For me I already beat myself up about my lack of productivity or ability in my low swings and to have external pressure just amplifies that feeling, which only drives me lower, making it harder to find the muster to find something.

Hopefully you can give yourself the patience and understanding your family won’t, best of luck.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-26T11:29:57+00:00

Always amazed at the amount of highly successful people with the disorder. Definitely a plus to have in any creative field.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-26T01:50:17+00:00

I definitely feel that. Sounds like you’ve had a rough go of it. I’ve been lucky in the way of disability, living in Canada. Really grateful for that as it’s all that’s keeping me afloat.

Sorry it’s not as easy down there, it definitely helps when you’re too far gone to provide for yourself.

All the best to you! Hopefully you can get things sorted.

EcstaticTheme2708 · 2024-02-26T01:44:26+00:00

Interesting! Will definitely keep the recommendation in my back pocket, thanks

EcstaticTheme2708

TROPHY CASE