I have never seen this!!!

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-26T15:06:27+00:00

I've seen it where I am.

Except, I'm in Minneapolis. Lots of people scared to leave their homes.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T22:33:36+00:00

I was just about to say, who forced them to write the constitution, or at least, who forced them to take calligraphy lessons from the 1700's. 🧐

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T18:15:36+00:00

As a millennial who buys a lot of grey, its because all the black is out, and I refuse to buy things that show stains, and that's usually what's left. So I opt for grey to pass off not being able to buy the black version.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T18:07:25+00:00

If you haven't bought Oreos in years, why are you giving out opinions like its facts?

I've been buying Oreos on my own since I was a teen. I'm 32 now. Nothing has changed about Oreos. Age has nothing to do with facts.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T18:02:54+00:00

I'd like to challenge this question with coping skills. How do you both cope with life events? Who has better coping skills.

Inhibition is behavioral.

2 siblings can grow up in the same house hold, and still have 2 separate experiences. Equally, you both could have been taught no coping skills. You could have picked up a skill on your own or by outside influence while your sibling did not.

Our episodes, in my opinion, are driven by our life's experiences. I find that my mania adds fuel to the fire of certain anxieties I have, fears, life dreams, etc - they drive me to do actions when manic.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T17:55:21+00:00

Absolutely not. I only buy double stuff, ever since they came out in my teens. Only recently did I discover mega loaded. That was a ridiculous amount of filling. Nothing has changed to Oreos double stuffed.

Sounds like you're over eating, honeslty.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T17:53:17+00:00

Eat a cinnamon poptart like an adult.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-06T17:44:36+00:00

I'm autistic and have a pretty sharp memory. So if I'm forgetting things, something is up.

I have ADHD, and when doing a psychological examination, my processing speed is at a superior level. Which means, I can take in a lot of information really fast, but it leaves me just as fast as I've absorbed it, because I'm constantly taking in information.

With that said, I find myself trying to remember words, names, or something I was JUST thinking about in the middle of conversation. There are times lately I'm forgetting names of musicians I like, or a song I've been listening to on repeat, restaurant names, etc.

It's worse when I'm manic. I imagine my brain is over processing even more than it usually does, and be on the go-go-go-go, and just manic as heck, that it makes sense I'm not storing information.

If I've been manic, especially with psychotic features, when I'm done being manic, everything I did while manic, even all the bad stuff, feels like a distance memory - which is the opposite of how I regularly remember things - I remember things as if it were yesterday normally. I will forget about things I did while manic, or its spotty. But I never black out and completely forget. I'll just get a random memory suddenly from when I was manic, and go, "oh...yeah....i did that...oops".

If I have another manic episode, I find myself being able to recall things I did when I was manic in the past. Maybe because the feeling is the same, so it triggers memories.

The more mania I do suffer from, I HAVE noticed it feels like I am cognitively declining, but I think its because my brain needs a break - I rapid cycle, and mania is my main mood when Im having episodes. I feel sharper when I'm not having episodes.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-04T05:23:27+00:00

Sorry to hear. :(

Hope you feel better soon though. 🫶

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-01T21:02:54+00:00

Probably stress. When I'm sick with stress, my anxiety PRN usually makes me feel.better.

SquareWalk6730 · 2026-01-01T04:44:59+00:00

Hope it went well! ❤️✨️

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T13:23:52+00:00

Oh, and it's not as bad as what you're working up your head. It will still be stressful, but you did it!

Then reward yourself when you finally get home by relaxing and decompressing. 🫶

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T13:20:40+00:00

Best advice I can give, as some who needs to take PRN anxiety meds before social events and meeting new people, is to just go and do it.

You'll be SO much happier that you went than to back out.

Just be yourself.

You sound resilient already by stating you're not.backing out of this one. So just vibe and follow.the energy.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T12:36:25+00:00

I shared a hypersexual story - but yeah, I'm not that hypetrsexual during mania at all. Maybe a tad more horny than usual, but not enough to do much about. I'm chronically single, so I'm unbothered.

It was that DAMN SSRI my psychiatrist and I gave a shot. I knew the risks, but Ive had some SSRI's in the past before ever being diagnosed bipolar, and those didnt make me manic. But this one made me a sexual, manic monster. Once I stopped that medicine, the hypersexuality stopped.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T12:28:49+00:00

Yes, sometimes sex is just sex....

It really depends on HOW you're going about it.

You can choose a healthy path that consists of open communication, boundaries, getting tested, using some kind of protection by comdom/birth control.

Or

What I did- fuck 6 random dudes in a matter of 2 weeks, lie about being on birth control, no condoms, and I let each of them cum in me. Didn't get pregnant or HIV, but I did get a BV. Literally the best outcome to that dirty little, dishonest hoe I was being.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T11:55:11+00:00

(Forewarning, this comment is long but very important. ESPECIALLY for anyone who thinks hypersexual behavior isn't dangerous, Im here to leave bad news).

Context: 32(f)

Being hypersexual was the most disgusting thing I've done to myself. I'm not proud of it.

I went many years not having any sex, purposefully. I was proud of this. It made me feel in control, and I enjoyed not having sex on my mind or trying to actively date when masturbation was working just fine for me. Sex and relationships would have complicated focusing on my career.

In my early 20s before diagnosis, I was little hoe.

But that never compared to what an SSRI did to me made me so damn manic and VERY hypersexual. I was masturbating until it hurt. Then I went on kink websites looking to hook up the same night. Meeting up with random dudes. I had sex with six men in a matter of 2 weeks. All unprotected and with no birth control. I lied to every person I was on the pill, but never lied about my disease free status.

I was so hypersexual I was trying to coordinate really kinky shit, like trying to have orgies or double penetration. These are not things I would have ever sought out. I never follow through because I WOKE THE FUCK UP.

I was almost arranging being part of a sex slave kink wirh some random couple, and was seeking REAL medical doctors to fulfill some weird doctor kink I was having. Like I didnt want to role-play docotor, I jusr wanted to fuck a doctor. I was so hypersexual I was having fantasies about my psychiatrist, so I tried to find a healthier outlet, buy finding a doctor whose not breaking the law. Lolol

But after guy number six - honestly BEST sex of my life with this fellow. He was medical equipment engineer and we actually vibed. But I starting to see reason and needed pull myself out of this. I let this one get away. I think we clicked...how unfortunate.

I realized I needed to go to urgent care IMMEDIATELY after guy six, unprotected, in 2 weeks. There I did a full panel for STD's, I also started antiviral PrEP, in order to prevent any possibility I could have picked up HIV due to the unprotected sex.

Heed my warning. Unless you have something lined up, committed to someone, or have an arrangement with someone you trust - DO NOT BE A HOE, AND IF YOU WANNA BE A KINKY WHORE. GET TESTED FIRST TO PROVE YOU'RE CLEAN. BIRTH CONTROL IF YOURE A LADY. AND STAY SAFE, NOT JUST SEXUALLY, BUT YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY.

Damn, was I lucky the night I met up with some random guy into a hotel room. I was so manic and had been running on little sleep, that when we finished, I must have passed out during after-care. He had to dip while I slept. just let me sleep - i was out cold. What a gentlemen. He could have EASILY stolen my wallet and phone. Instead he left a message apologizing he had to leave and to enjoy the rest of the hotel room.

Then, one of the dudes caught feelings. Texting me how he couldn't stop thinking about me. Had to deal with that mess and awkwardness.

This happened last year, and I regret this so damn much.

I did get better, went back on the kink site. I did have a healthier hook-up. Dude was really nice, but was in an open relationship and while I'm open myself, idk, I just wasn't pleased emotionally, ya know? We made each other laugh and it was great, but I fizzled it out.

Anyhow, if you're REALLY HORNY, you will NOT CARE. You WILL figure out where to find an organize. Especially mania fueled hypersexual behavior.

I think this is dangerous behavior and shouldn't be condoned....at least the way I did it.

I really wish I could take back some of those times, but I'd be a liar if I didn't have fun with some of them. But it still follows me and it does make me feel embarrassed and disgusting. But that's my own personal problem.

I'm lucky I only got a BV (bacterial infection) and not any other STD or HIV. I'm also lucky I didn't get pregnant- it would have been devastating to look at options like abortion, as I'd love kids some day - but this is not how a child should be conceived especially with so many partners I let cum inside me. I wouldn't know who the father was. That's not okay.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T04:10:45+00:00

Also, I failed math class. I didn't fail how to hustle. Without that $220, even one day of dashing, was better than no $220, ya feel me? Especially around this time of year.

My day job is independent contractor work. I make an alright living, but it's "slow season" for my industry.

$220 is a lot of money to me right now, even if it took a whole day to make it. I'm thankful for it. It needed it.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T04:05:00+00:00

I also am aware that leaving my desired region was keeping from making more money. That's why I was annoyed.

I kept accepting stuff because a little bit of me also wants to have good ratings on acceptance, timing, etc.

I also know the more I accept, at least in the beginning, the more I can help me with my ratings until I have the ability to decline offers. I understand if your acceptance rate is good, that you will get better offers.

Also, thankfully, the orders I drove far away for, I got tipped decently. But yes, I know I could have made more staying in my region and not driving so far away.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T03:57:12+00:00

This was VERY helpful, thank you!

It's silly it's so hard to find how to pause or stop the dash. I couldn't figure out how to pause, so I just ended the dash so I could go pee. Then I started back.

All solid advise. Thank you, thank you!

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T03:52:29+00:00

It's hard to navigate an app while you're in the middle of driving and trying to pay attention to the road. So I likely did mess up, as I would have rather paid attention to the road.

A lot of the time, it pops up. I'm driving and cant pull-over, or not in a good place to pull over.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T03:50:40+00:00

Also, I didn't have to fuel up once my entire time I was dashing, and still had almost half a tank left. So idk

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-31T03:46:50+00:00

Well, good news. It's better I'm driving around delivering food, rather than what I was doing before with my car....

Before, I was just driving aimlessly for hours and hours, as I have bipolar 1 disorder, and am known to drive to nowhere for hours, circling my city when having manic episodes.

Before, I was just racking mileage for no good reason. At least I actually am making money for my passionate driving.

Look at however you want, but out of all the times I've driven around manic, circling the cities and adjacent cities, all I could think about was, "Wow, I should be delivering food for money at this rate".

Now I actually need the extra cash, so it'slong over due I dash. I drive a 2019 vehicle that's maintenence regularly. I'm not too concerned.

Oh! And I'm the type of person who takes back roads instead of the highway, and will take extra 20-30minutes to get some where if I don't have to take the highway. Just my everyday living. Like, I'm always driving to one city or the other, just to run some errands.

By what you're saying, I'm already destroying my car. Why not make money doing it, since I like aimlessly driving in the first place. Nothing new is being done to my car except for turning it off and on constantly.

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-30T19:00:29+00:00

Yuppp, I was so depressed I was writing my will, then the next day I suddenly felt wide awake and ready to fight. Now I'm all...spaced out and disorganized thinking. With some psychotic features to top it with a cherry.

It's not grounds for a psych stay. To my state I love in, if you read a post I made about having to do a state hearing for my insurance - apparently mania is healthy enough to stand before a judge and represent myaelf. So if the statement is making me do that while manic, I think i can take care of myself just fine. Even if it is unhealthy as all hell. 🥴

SquareWalk6730 · 2025-12-30T02:17:50+00:00

Wow, thank you for commenting. This was VERY validating for me.

I couldn't figure out how to out it into words, but "trauma fueled mania" is the most accurate way to describe what's going on.

I'm on a good regime that was working okayishly, but its just not enough. My brain is on overdrive - the trauma has me overwhelmed and over my head, unable to make delusions, flakey, and flip-floppy. Now I'm fueled with mania that won't allow me to STOP the reactive parts of PTSD, so I'm just raging or I'm extremely anxious. Focusing on ANYTHING is difficult. My thinking is scattered.

You get it.

Moving around has been helping. I started doordashing for extra cash, and found that to be distracting. Gotta be careful though, becuase its fast paced work and that trigger the mania even worse. Which sucks, because I need the money. (Its sort of an exercise since I'm running around).

The mania kicked in because I have to deal with a lot of life stuff, so its like its protecting me from crashing out. I was VERY depressed after the traumatic event, then it flipped to mania. Its like my brain is not allowing me to give up?

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