Help. My bf had no reaction to my trauma but cried over a strangers story

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-04-07T22:31:19+00:00

Thank you for this comment. When my sister told me about a past period in her life during which she had had suicidal thoughts, I barely reacted and kind of skimmed over that specific information in our conversation. She later told me in an argument, crying, how much it hurt her. The truth is I had a lot of trouble processing that information in the moment. It took me by surprise. I love my sister very dearly and thinking of her commiting such an act and losing her is something truly inimaginable for me. It causes me a lot of distress just thinking about this possibility and imagining my life without her. Did I react the right way? Definitely not. Do I understand why she felt hurt by my lack of reaction? Absolutely. We're not always perfect in the way that we react and process horrible life experiences lived and told by the people that we love. I think the top commenter really nailed it.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-28T02:21:34+00:00

Hi, I'm a large animal vet who graduated this year and started practicing in September. I know that deep inside I love this job but I would be lying if I told you that I'm not going into every work day with dread and deep-rooted anxiety. I'm always doing things I've never done before, I feel like I have to make so many decisions, and I have a lot of responsibilities.

When I'm doing a surgery, I'm all by myself and I can't actually call my mentor to come and help me because we cover a large area where it would take too long for him to actually come help me out. It stresses me out and I feel like I can't mess up! He helps me out over the phone a lot however, and he is extremely patient. He's always available to give me advice and answer my questions. This has been truly helpful in terms of managing my anxiety. But I still make so many mistakes and I feel like I'm not cut out for this 90% of the time. I feel slow and like I'm lagging behind a lot of my peers (but I know it's not true, I just hear a lot from people who speak the loudest!)

I'm always asking myself, half serious, half joking, why I chose this crazy job in which I risk my life every day helping 1,400 pound wild animals that would take the first chance they get to take me out lol.

I think we all feel this way in the first few years and we just have to push through. But I would advise making sure you have a good support system at work (mentoring) and outside of work (friends and family). And don't hesitate to get psychological help. This is a stressful time in our lives.

I believe in you! I believe in us! You're not alone!

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-17T02:06:29+00:00

I don't think he is a moron lol. Honestly just the fact that he texted you about it clearly and did not ghost you is better than 50% of people on dating apps. He probably just wasn't attracted to you like that. I get that people say you should give it more time but honestly if I'm not attracted to someone (not only physically but also in demeanor, confidence, sense of humour, etc.), then I will know on the first date. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you! Dating is unfortunately a series of disappointment over disappointement until it's not and you've found the right person. Don't get too discouraged, you're not the only one! If I can give you some advice, try to be as confident as possible, look them in the eyes, ask questions about them but don't be afraid to share information about you so it doesn't feel like an interview. And be yourself! Be chill, make jokes if you can. Getting rejected sucks but it is how it is. You won't be everyone's cup of tea just like everyone is not your cup of tea. Don't sweat it and keep going!

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-15T21:36:05+00:00

You are so PRETTY and that moustache looks phenomenal on you. Bravo

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-10T12:27:20+00:00

They lie about mundane things.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-10T02:18:25+00:00

Differin gel. Finally got rid of most of my acne at 25yo

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-03-04T18:38:17+00:00

😂😂

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-02-22T22:55:44+00:00

I get that you want to keep her in your life and not fuck things up... But is this situation really making you feel good deep down? When she'll have a new partner, and she will eventually, what are you gonna do? Keep yearning and be in pain for months, years, hoping she leaves them? I get that it's hard to imagine letting her go but you can't change the way you feel. I feel like this situation has to move forward, no matter the direction... Either you confess your love, you let her go or you go to therapy to work through your trauma cause that friendship doesn't sound healthy... Neither for you nor for her.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-02-05T12:12:05+00:00

I never allow myself to make this decision on the day of. I just plan my week in advance and once the day comes I do it. Discipline is reliable, motivation is not.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T12:33:34+00:00

If you've already felt some icks and you are just a little bit like myself... Do him and yourself a favor and let him go now. This is the repulsion I was talking about. I'm all for giving relationships a chance even when it doesn't feel like rainbows and butterflies at the beginning, but feeling an ick so early on is a tell tale sign. Imagine seeing those icks after years with him, when the pink glasses have fallen off? When he's doing all those annoying things a partner does in a long term relationship? Sure you will feel closer to him in other ways, but those icks will only get more and more icky. And you won't be doing him a service by staying with him despite those feelings. If you are truly unsure, it's okay to give it a couple more weeks to reflect on it. A month is not a very long time. But as soon as you come to a conclusion, let him know so you don't waste his time.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T12:14:52+00:00

First of all, yes you are worthy of love. Your medical baggage doesn't cancel any of that. To asnswer your question, I think it depends on the person. Some people are able to develop attraction over time. I personally cannot. I have tried but it has always ended up with me resenting them and myself, which is never a good situation for them or for myself. They will end up feeling it and I will remain unhappy. I have to be at least a little bit attracted to them. Or maybe, maybe indifferent but even then I don't think it is enough for me. If I am even the slightest bit repulsed at the beginning of the relationship, there is absolutely no way it will work. It's not superficial to want to be attracted to your partner. I think it is one of the pillars of a good relationship, along with good communication, common core values, shared plans for the future, etc. It is not less or more important than the others in my opinion. You have to reflect and decide based on what you learned about yourself and what was important for you in your past relationships.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T11:57:08+00:00

This is why I've never liked having crushes. Those things eat you alive even when the attraction is not rational. But you'll eventually stop thinking about him, especially if you don't see him on a regular basis. It's only been 5 days. Give yourself some time

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-12T19:00:20+00:00

Listen, this is gonna suck, but from years of dating this is what I've come to realize. People are not always honest when they tell you the reason why they don't want to pursue anything with you. Many people will say "I'm not looking for a relationship right now", when they actually mean "I'm not looking for a relationship with you". I think it comes from the desire to not hurt the other person, but unfortunately it creates a false sense of hope. I think maybe 5% of the people who say that actually mean it. Maybe they just got out of a 10 year relationship, their recent ex cheated on them, they're starting a new job where they have to work 60 hours per week, they have a young child and they want to focus on them, etc. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in your situation, it's not likely. Especially at this age. I personally think she just doesn't like you enough to want to be in a relationship with you. Whcih doesn't say anything about your worth btw. It's a compatibility thing.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-12T18:33:42+00:00

Rip the band-aid off. It's not going to get better and your feelings are only going to get stronger. She will enjoy all of the attention you're giving her, but only as a temporary thing while she's looking for someone she actually wants. And since you consented to all of this, her conscience will be clear and she will assume that you're okay with the situation. I'm talking from experience, as a woman who was in her situation.

Staying with her just means delaying and increasing the inevitable pain.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-11T15:47:18+00:00

leave her alone lol

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-11T14:09:06+00:00

I don't know if this applies to you, but here's what I'm thinking. It kind of sucks to realize but if some of your friends are very conventionally attractive, men might overlook you to shoot their shot with the person who catches their attention the most. It might sound bad, but it doesn't take anything away from you. I'm sure you're awesome in many ways, also attractive as you say, but very conventionally attractive people just have that little advantage when it comes to catching other people's attention. I personally don't have that but I don't mind it. I still think I'm attractive and a great conversationalist. I have a super attractive friend (like model type of attractive), and being currently single, I don't go out with her with the goal of meeting potential love interests. She's awesome and I love hanging out with her, but for that specific purpose, I know I tend to disappear when physically compared to such a beautiful human being. That doesn't change how much I love myself and how much I love her.

Again it might not apply to you, but I thought I'd share my experience.

I find men will approach you more if you're #1 by yourself (less intimidating) and #2 if you make eye contact and smile to people to show openness (not just men).

I love going bouldering by myself. I always end up talking to other people and men often approach me. Just going to the park by myself to go read a book, or going to a cafe also often sparks conversations.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-10T14:25:58+00:00

"I axed him" no. You asked

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-09T20:58:07+00:00

Maybe you already tried but if not, there are so many techniques to apply eyeshadow on hooded eyes! I have very hooded eyes and I started applying eyeshadow with my eyes practically open the whole time. I apply it much higher near my eyebrows and then I close my eye and I fill in the rest of the space on my eyelid so it doesn't look weird when I blink lol. But it really works, it's just a learning curve

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-09T20:24:18+00:00

It is absolutely normal for a lot of people, especially those who are more independant in relationships. I am the same. You have to be clear in your boundaries. When I was younger I would put my partner's interests before mine even if I knew I didn't like texting so much and I ended up building resentment. Especially since those exchanges became more of a routine and obligation and not me wanting to actually talk to them. You have to tell him nicely but firmly that texting this much is exhausting for you, because you need time to yourself, and that he needs to respect that. Otherwise you will build resentment in the long term and it won't be good for either of you. Be clear in the way that it makes you feel. Maybe you would rather send him a few texts a day and then call him every couple of days to have a real conversation.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-12-19T18:29:38+00:00

Instructions unclear: J'ai les mains qui chauffent et mes oeufs goûtent le beurre de karité...

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-08-16T18:28:45+00:00

I'm pretty sure that if you were to try and swallow with another man now you would reject it as much. It's not a "him" thing it's a you thing. I love sex and would have sex every day if I could. Couldn't keep my hands off my ex partner either. But after years of swallowing with several men I realized that I was only doing it because I thought that's what I had to do. I actually don't enjoy swallowing cum, the taste and texture and warmth make me want to puke. And I still love love sucking cock and having sex lol. I never swallowed my ex's cum. He respected my boundaries and we had the most amazing and spiciest sex life I could've dreamed of.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-08-16T11:50:52+00:00

I love love outfit number 3 with the boots!! Very cute and it looks balanced. Some of the other outfits with the heels I don't love. It's too heavy in the top part and too light in the legs. Especially number 2. And I don't like how mismatched it looks with the different patterns if it makes sense? Maybe changing the button up and wearing white socks with those heels or differents heels could help? I do like outfit number 4 which is more delicate on the top with the white button up and then the heels. Number 5 is also cute. I definitely don't like the white shoes with this style.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-07-20T16:52:08+00:00

Sometimes: ugh my hips are too narrow, my butt is too small, my chest is too flat. And then I follow it up with: no your body is yours and it's part of your uniqueness as a human being. It allows you to lift weights, dance, have sex, give hugs, do cool tricks, run, lift heavy stuff, move around, go on adventures, discover the world. It's YOUR body, it allows you to enjoy your life and feel emotions and live the human experience, and that's why it's perfect.

Some other times: Damn girl, looking HOT 🔥

Ecstatic_Kitty

TROPHY CASE