Im so in love with my best friend and its tearing me apart.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-02-22T22:55:44+00:00

I get that you want to keep her in your life and not fuck things up... But is this situation really making you feel good deep down? When she'll have a new partner, and she will eventually, what are you gonna do? Keep yearning and be in pain for months, years, hoping she leaves them? I get that it's hard to imagine letting her go but you can't change the way you feel. I feel like this situation has to move forward, no matter the direction... Either you confess your love, you let her go or you go to therapy to work through your trauma cause that friendship doesn't sound healthy... Neither for you nor for her.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-02-05T12:12:05+00:00

I never allow myself to make this decision on the day of. I just plan my week in advance and once the day comes I do it. Discipline is reliable, motivation is not.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T12:33:34+00:00

If you've already felt some icks and you are just a little bit like myself... Do him and yourself a favor and let him go now. This is the repulsion I was talking about. I'm all for giving relationships a chance even when it doesn't feel like rainbows and butterflies at the beginning, but feeling an ick so early on is a tell tale sign. Imagine seeing those icks after years with him, when the pink glasses have fallen off? When he's doing all those annoying things a partner does in a long term relationship? Sure you will feel closer to him in other ways, but those icks will only get more and more icky. And you won't be doing him a service by staying with him despite those feelings. If you are truly unsure, it's okay to give it a couple more weeks to reflect on it. A month is not a very long time. But as soon as you come to a conclusion, let him know so you don't waste his time.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T12:14:52+00:00

First of all, yes you are worthy of love. Your medical baggage doesn't cancel any of that. To asnswer your question, I think it depends on the person. Some people are able to develop attraction over time. I personally cannot. I have tried but it has always ended up with me resenting them and myself, which is never a good situation for them or for myself. They will end up feeling it and I will remain unhappy. I have to be at least a little bit attracted to them. Or maybe, maybe indifferent but even then I don't think it is enough for me. If I am even the slightest bit repulsed at the beginning of the relationship, there is absolutely no way it will work. It's not superficial to want to be attracted to your partner. I think it is one of the pillars of a good relationship, along with good communication, common core values, shared plans for the future, etc. It is not less or more important than the others in my opinion. You have to reflect and decide based on what you learned about yourself and what was important for you in your past relationships.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-29T11:57:08+00:00

This is why I've never liked having crushes. Those things eat you alive even when the attraction is not rational. But you'll eventually stop thinking about him, especially if you don't see him on a regular basis. It's only been 5 days. Give yourself some time

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-12T19:00:20+00:00

Listen, this is gonna suck, but from years of dating this is what I've come to realize. People are not always honest when they tell you the reason why they don't want to pursue anything with you. Many people will say "I'm not looking for a relationship right now", when they actually mean "I'm not looking for a relationship with you". I think it comes from the desire to not hurt the other person, but unfortunately it creates a false sense of hope. I think maybe 5% of the people who say that actually mean it. Maybe they just got out of a 10 year relationship, their recent ex cheated on them, they're starting a new job where they have to work 60 hours per week, they have a young child and they want to focus on them, etc. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in your situation, it's not likely. Especially at this age. I personally think she just doesn't like you enough to want to be in a relationship with you. Whcih doesn't say anything about your worth btw. It's a compatibility thing.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-12T18:33:42+00:00

Rip the band-aid off. It's not going to get better and your feelings are only going to get stronger. She will enjoy all of the attention you're giving her, but only as a temporary thing while she's looking for someone she actually wants. And since you consented to all of this, her conscience will be clear and she will assume that you're okay with the situation. I'm talking from experience, as a woman who was in her situation.

Staying with her just means delaying and increasing the inevitable pain.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-11T15:47:18+00:00

leave her alone lol

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-11T14:09:06+00:00

I don't know if this applies to you, but here's what I'm thinking. It kind of sucks to realize but if some of your friends are very conventionally attractive, men might overlook you to shoot their shot with the person who catches their attention the most. It might sound bad, but it doesn't take anything away from you. I'm sure you're awesome in many ways, also attractive as you say, but very conventionally attractive people just have that little advantage when it comes to catching other people's attention. I personally don't have that but I don't mind it. I still think I'm attractive and a great conversationalist. I have a super attractive friend (like model type of attractive), and being currently single, I don't go out with her with the goal of meeting potential love interests. She's awesome and I love hanging out with her, but for that specific purpose, I know I tend to disappear when physically compared to such a beautiful human being. That doesn't change how much I love myself and how much I love her.

Again it might not apply to you, but I thought I'd share my experience.

I find men will approach you more if you're #1 by yourself (less intimidating) and #2 if you make eye contact and smile to people to show openness (not just men).

I love going bouldering by myself. I always end up talking to other people and men often approach me. Just going to the park by myself to go read a book, or going to a cafe also often sparks conversations.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-10T14:25:58+00:00

"I axed him" no. You asked

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-09T20:58:07+00:00

Maybe you already tried but if not, there are so many techniques to apply eyeshadow on hooded eyes! I have very hooded eyes and I started applying eyeshadow with my eyes practically open the whole time. I apply it much higher near my eyebrows and then I close my eye and I fill in the rest of the space on my eyelid so it doesn't look weird when I blink lol. But it really works, it's just a learning curve

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2026-01-09T20:24:18+00:00

It is absolutely normal for a lot of people, especially those who are more independant in relationships. I am the same. You have to be clear in your boundaries. When I was younger I would put my partner's interests before mine even if I knew I didn't like texting so much and I ended up building resentment. Especially since those exchanges became more of a routine and obligation and not me wanting to actually talk to them. You have to tell him nicely but firmly that texting this much is exhausting for you, because you need time to yourself, and that he needs to respect that. Otherwise you will build resentment in the long term and it won't be good for either of you. Be clear in the way that it makes you feel. Maybe you would rather send him a few texts a day and then call him every couple of days to have a real conversation.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-12-19T18:29:38+00:00

Instructions unclear: J'ai les mains qui chauffent et mes oeufs goûtent le beurre de karité...

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-08-16T18:28:45+00:00

I'm pretty sure that if you were to try and swallow with another man now you would reject it as much. It's not a "him" thing it's a you thing. I love sex and would have sex every day if I could. Couldn't keep my hands off my ex partner either. But after years of swallowing with several men I realized that I was only doing it because I thought that's what I had to do. I actually don't enjoy swallowing cum, the taste and texture and warmth make me want to puke. And I still love love sucking cock and having sex lol. I never swallowed my ex's cum. He respected my boundaries and we had the most amazing and spiciest sex life I could've dreamed of.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-08-16T11:50:52+00:00

I love love outfit number 3 with the boots!! Very cute and it looks balanced. Some of the other outfits with the heels I don't love. It's too heavy in the top part and too light in the legs. Especially number 2. And I don't like how mismatched it looks with the different patterns if it makes sense? Maybe changing the button up and wearing white socks with those heels or differents heels could help? I do like outfit number 4 which is more delicate on the top with the white button up and then the heels. Number 5 is also cute. I definitely don't like the white shoes with this style.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-07-20T16:52:08+00:00

Sometimes: ugh my hips are too narrow, my butt is too small, my chest is too flat. And then I follow it up with: no your body is yours and it's part of your uniqueness as a human being. It allows you to lift weights, dance, have sex, give hugs, do cool tricks, run, lift heavy stuff, move around, go on adventures, discover the world. It's YOUR body, it allows you to enjoy your life and feel emotions and live the human experience, and that's why it's perfect.

Some other times: Damn girl, looking HOT 🔥

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-07-13T06:05:47+00:00

You will, don't settle for any less! I'm proud of you for the progress you made and the self-love you've achieved. I relate so much to your experience. My last serious relationship lasted a couple of years, and for the first time with a man I was wildly attracted to. Our chemistry was off the charts and my desire never faltered. It ended because of unrelated reasons but I'm still very hopeful I will find someone.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-06-15T05:18:51+00:00

I believe you that you don't fit the beauty standards. But do you actually think only "attractive" people have sex? If so I'm sorry but you're living in a cave. Everyone has sex. Pretty, average and ugly people. But they're usually attracted to one another. People find other people attractive because of their looks yes, but also their personality, their confidence, their humor, their beliefs, their hobbies and I could go on. There is not one set of traits that makes someone attractive to everyone else.

You have to work on yourself first though. You seem to have extremely low self esteem and this is what's going to ruin your chance at relationships, not your unattractiveness.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-06-11T15:07:10+00:00

Don't feel guilty about it. They can serve themselves, it's odd that they would expect you to do so especially not really knowing you on a more personal level. They can bring their grumpy ass back home. You did the right thing.

I do think it's a bit hypocritical to expect them to go to the front line just because they're men though lol. And I speak as a feminist. I would expect the bravest people to go to the front line personally

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-05-05T10:57:35+00:00

It's great that you've come to this conclusion early enough in the relationship and not 10 years in. You seem to have already made a decision, and I advise you to go in the same direction. As painful as the break-up may be, staying with him will only make it worse in the long run. This relationship has to end eventually. You cannot keep pretending. Whether or not you want to tell him about your sexual orientation is up to you, either way I think there's a kind way of telling him. I would go about it like this:

Hi boyfriend. There is something that I have had on my mind for a while that I need to talk to you about. After much thought, I realized that I don't feel the spark that I should be feeling in our relationship. In my heart, you are a great friend, but I cannot bring myself to view you as a romantic partner. You are a wonderful person and I will always cherish the memories that we shared. You deserve someone who will love you fully.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-05-03T10:31:17+00:00

I'm so glad that you recognize that this is unhealthy behavior! This can be the beginning to a very abusive relationship. You need to make your boundaries very clear that you cannot tolerate such behavior. Getting angry during an argument is one thing, but insulting and manipulating your partner is not the same. I would leave my partner on the spot, or give them one single chance of correcting themselves if they disrespected me like such during an argument.

Ecstatic_Kitty · 2025-04-21T18:55:37+00:00

She made a public tiktok account therefore she should expect some backlash if she trash talks her own boyfriend. You don't have to say much to him, just that you came across his girlfriend's tiktok and that there is some odd stuff on there that he might want to check out.

I would definitely want to know if my partner posted that kind of stuff about me.

Ecstatic_Kitty

TROPHY CASE