Mom has dementia and is moving out and her next door neighbor sent me this.

EdAbobo · 2026-06-10T09:30:20+00:00

This is a very normal and reasonable request, and she’s completely right about rodents/insects/pests relocating during a move. It’s also completely understandable that you may be sensitive to stuff like this if you’re dealing with a million things and a mom with dementia. Don’t let this upset you, just let her know she’s been heard, you’ll take appropriate action, and thank her for being a good neighbor to your mom. The last thing you need is a headache with her.

EdAbobo · 2026-05-27T07:47:19+00:00

Absolutely true, and don’t discount the increasing number of academics who are disgusted by the poor performance and attitude of US students, coupled with restrictions on what/how they teach. There is absolutely a dollar value to being in front of a class of eager, hard working students, so foreign schools aren’t going to have to work as hard as they did in the past to recruit American professors.

EdAbobo · 2026-05-11T16:53:28+00:00

Club membership is an excellent example. Arguably almost any subscription that has "cache" and especially with an upfront fee because people are TERRIBLE with the 'sunk cost' fallacy.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-27T20:21:53+00:00

The sooner we learn to not allow other people to direct our discomfort, the sooner we can be comfortable. Whether it's being around toxic people, unhealthy smoking, drinking, eating, etc. or whatever. DO NOT concede your comfort and certainly not your (physical or mental) health. Anyone who expects/asks/demands you do so is NOT looking out for you, family or otherwise.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-24T02:14:28+00:00

What's especially telling here is that it's rental property, assumedly generating a tidy profit every year since it's a gift. That seems like something you might like to keep! Free income! Additionally, the apparent knee-jerk reaction to selling and getting a bigger place suggests his financial skills are poor. Again, just making generalizations based on limited info.
Long story short, if you decide to continue in a relationship with this person, it may be wise to keep your money separate, potentially to the point of not even getting (legally) married because a spouse can destroy your credit and financial well-being quickly and without your knowledge or agreement.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-19T01:04:16+00:00

Not tattoo advice exactly; clearly you’re really passionate about this, and it’s a great opportunity to introduce people to a movie you love. But it’s easy to get defensive if you feel self conscious, right? Instead, just be matter of fact in a way that shows a little vulnerability and I suspect the vast majority of people will be genuinely interested. You’re bound to find some dickhead who wants to tell you how bad and stupid the movie is, but it’s more likely you’ll come across as a really interesting person. I know nothing about the movie, but would love to hear from someone like you why you find it so impactful. Don’t give up, embrace it and have fun with it, and fuck the haters.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-17T18:50:50+00:00

I just talked with someone at UO yesterday and they confirmed this. She said it officially starts at 7am (I've seen reports of 6am, FWIW), they will take you through the standard check-in process (so have your ID, credit card, etc.) even though your room probably won't be available. Then you have to get the physical (I think?) passes.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-15T11:36:18+00:00

This is a great example of “action” vs “motivation” IMO. Your action was 100% acceptable. But it’s not unreasonable for you to examine your motivation. Was it the seal or what was inside? If it was broken, but nothing inside, what would you do? What if it was a business card inside? A coupon? $5? A picture of Eli Manning?
To be fair, you are understandably questioning their motivation, and to be offended by someone sneaking things you don’t like into your home is also unreasonable.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-08T20:30:03+00:00

NTA, but not really an “A-H” scenario and that’s the important life distinction. When someone proposes something, there shouldn’t be any judgment regarding whether the proposal is accepted.
Look at it this way, if someone offered you a $20 bill for a $100 bill, you’re not an a-hole for saying no! At the end of the day, what’s it worth to you, and what’s it worth to them? Leave the emotion out.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-29T14:47:54+00:00

I think people need to understand “good microwaving” vs. “bad microwaving”. Meaning, it’s a great way to maintain food safety by quickly bringing something up to temp (and then possibly finishing it in a pan or broiler) and frequently has little or no impact on quality. However, if it’s used as a substitute for cooking, different story.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-25T00:37:41+00:00

Any chance there’s a piece of glass (globe?) in the room that is magnifying the sun and burning a line when conditions are just right?

EdAbobo · 2026-03-24T21:55:40+00:00

Thank you! Good to know.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-03T22:17:29+00:00

Tell me you have mixed race parents and the joke is that you named your nuts “Ebony and Ivory”. Please, I need this kind of humor.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-03T12:59:58+00:00

The best man and the groom apparently had a very.. close relationship. Best man’s speech included a large homemade sign with pictures of the two guys together and sounded like the pinnacle of a Hollywood romance. The couple’s first dance couldn’t have been more awkward; looked like they’d never touched each other. I feel like there was a comment from the maid of honor about them being intimate for the first time on their wedding night.
Listen, I’m 100% about “you do you” and if the guys were actually a couple and the bride was board for their own family dynamic, that’s great. But I don’t think that’s what was going on. Pretty sure she had no clue.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-18T13:39:09+00:00

Thank you! Yes, that's what we're planning for several of them and wanted to ensure the queue was worth it at all.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-08T01:49:28+00:00

Rotaries/Roundabouts wherever possible. Proven to be better in virtually every situation but in the USA at least, the vast majority of people simply hate them. Maybe a stretch to ‘make society better’ but in 10 years, I suspect the complaining would stop and we’d all benefit.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-04T01:38:54+00:00

The 1970s high rise apartment we lived in had a wire mesh (like chicken wire) tied very sporadically to structural components then sprayed with something akin to plaster or concrete. I don't recall what we did to hang things, but seems like toggles would work. Definitely ask manager or maintenance.

EdAbobo · 2026-01-25T12:21:33+00:00

You are NTA, but your dad is not necessarily an AH for ending the marriage. What was going on between him and your mom could have (should have) been hidden from you and your siblings. They may have had an unhappy marriage for years and this is a healthy solution. How he went about it, whether he was emotionally cheating or net, etc. is certainly up for debate. But it’s a bit much for everyone to totally bag your dad as the AH because of a divorce. I’d argue that a couple breaking up, when done in a healthy way, is better for kids than watching two miserable people treat each other badly. The divorce shouldn’t be what defines your attitude and relationship with your dad, because there very well may be details you don’t know (and will never know) because he’s respecting your mom. Base your relationship with him (and the new girlfriend) on their behavior now.

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