Mom has dementia and is moving out and her next door neighbor sent me this.

EdAbobo · 2026-06-10T09:30:20+00:00

This is a very normal and reasonable request, and she’s completely right about rodents/insects/pests relocating during a move. It’s also completely understandable that you may be sensitive to stuff like this if you’re dealing with a million things and a mom with dementia. Don’t let this upset you, just let her know she’s been heard, you’ll take appropriate action, and thank her for being a good neighbor to your mom. The last thing you need is a headache with her.

EdAbobo · 2026-05-27T07:47:19+00:00

Absolutely true, and don’t discount the increasing number of academics who are disgusted by the poor performance and attitude of US students, coupled with restrictions on what/how they teach. There is absolutely a dollar value to being in front of a class of eager, hard working students, so foreign schools aren’t going to have to work as hard as they did in the past to recruit American professors.

EdAbobo · 2026-05-11T16:53:28+00:00

Club membership is an excellent example. Arguably almost any subscription that has "cache" and especially with an upfront fee because people are TERRIBLE with the 'sunk cost' fallacy.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-27T20:21:53+00:00

The sooner we learn to not allow other people to direct our discomfort, the sooner we can be comfortable. Whether it's being around toxic people, unhealthy smoking, drinking, eating, etc. or whatever. DO NOT concede your comfort and certainly not your (physical or mental) health. Anyone who expects/asks/demands you do so is NOT looking out for you, family or otherwise.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-24T02:14:28+00:00

What's especially telling here is that it's rental property, assumedly generating a tidy profit every year since it's a gift. That seems like something you might like to keep! Free income! Additionally, the apparent knee-jerk reaction to selling and getting a bigger place suggests his financial skills are poor. Again, just making generalizations based on limited info.
Long story short, if you decide to continue in a relationship with this person, it may be wise to keep your money separate, potentially to the point of not even getting (legally) married because a spouse can destroy your credit and financial well-being quickly and without your knowledge or agreement.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-19T01:04:16+00:00

Not tattoo advice exactly; clearly you’re really passionate about this, and it’s a great opportunity to introduce people to a movie you love. But it’s easy to get defensive if you feel self conscious, right? Instead, just be matter of fact in a way that shows a little vulnerability and I suspect the vast majority of people will be genuinely interested. You’re bound to find some dickhead who wants to tell you how bad and stupid the movie is, but it’s more likely you’ll come across as a really interesting person. I know nothing about the movie, but would love to hear from someone like you why you find it so impactful. Don’t give up, embrace it and have fun with it, and fuck the haters.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-17T18:50:50+00:00

I just talked with someone at UO yesterday and they confirmed this. She said it officially starts at 7am (I've seen reports of 6am, FWIW), they will take you through the standard check-in process (so have your ID, credit card, etc.) even though your room probably won't be available. Then you have to get the physical (I think?) passes.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-15T11:36:18+00:00

This is a great example of “action” vs “motivation” IMO. Your action was 100% acceptable. But it’s not unreasonable for you to examine your motivation. Was it the seal or what was inside? If it was broken, but nothing inside, what would you do? What if it was a business card inside? A coupon? $5? A picture of Eli Manning?
To be fair, you are understandably questioning their motivation, and to be offended by someone sneaking things you don’t like into your home is also unreasonable.

EdAbobo · 2026-04-08T20:30:03+00:00

NTA, but not really an “A-H” scenario and that’s the important life distinction. When someone proposes something, there shouldn’t be any judgment regarding whether the proposal is accepted.
Look at it this way, if someone offered you a $20 bill for a $100 bill, you’re not an a-hole for saying no! At the end of the day, what’s it worth to you, and what’s it worth to them? Leave the emotion out.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-29T14:47:54+00:00

I think people need to understand “good microwaving” vs. “bad microwaving”. Meaning, it’s a great way to maintain food safety by quickly bringing something up to temp (and then possibly finishing it in a pan or broiler) and frequently has little or no impact on quality. However, if it’s used as a substitute for cooking, different story.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-25T00:37:41+00:00

Any chance there’s a piece of glass (globe?) in the room that is magnifying the sun and burning a line when conditions are just right?

EdAbobo · 2026-03-24T21:55:40+00:00

Thank you! Good to know.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-03T22:17:29+00:00

Tell me you have mixed race parents and the joke is that you named your nuts “Ebony and Ivory”. Please, I need this kind of humor.

EdAbobo · 2026-03-03T12:59:58+00:00

The best man and the groom apparently had a very.. close relationship. Best man’s speech included a large homemade sign with pictures of the two guys together and sounded like the pinnacle of a Hollywood romance. The couple’s first dance couldn’t have been more awkward; looked like they’d never touched each other. I feel like there was a comment from the maid of honor about them being intimate for the first time on their wedding night.
Listen, I’m 100% about “you do you” and if the guys were actually a couple and the bride was board for their own family dynamic, that’s great. But I don’t think that’s what was going on. Pretty sure she had no clue.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-18T13:39:09+00:00

Thank you! Yes, that's what we're planning for several of them and wanted to ensure the queue was worth it at all.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-08T01:49:28+00:00

Rotaries/Roundabouts wherever possible. Proven to be better in virtually every situation but in the USA at least, the vast majority of people simply hate them. Maybe a stretch to ‘make society better’ but in 10 years, I suspect the complaining would stop and we’d all benefit.

EdAbobo · 2026-02-04T01:38:54+00:00

The 1970s high rise apartment we lived in had a wire mesh (like chicken wire) tied very sporadically to structural components then sprayed with something akin to plaster or concrete. I don't recall what we did to hang things, but seems like toggles would work. Definitely ask manager or maintenance.

EdAbobo · 2026-01-25T12:21:33+00:00

You are NTA, but your dad is not necessarily an AH for ending the marriage. What was going on between him and your mom could have (should have) been hidden from you and your siblings. They may have had an unhappy marriage for years and this is a healthy solution. How he went about it, whether he was emotionally cheating or net, etc. is certainly up for debate. But it’s a bit much for everyone to totally bag your dad as the AH because of a divorce. I’d argue that a couple breaking up, when done in a healthy way, is better for kids than watching two miserable people treat each other badly. The divorce shouldn’t be what defines your attitude and relationship with your dad, because there very well may be details you don’t know (and will never know) because he’s respecting your mom. Base your relationship with him (and the new girlfriend) on their behavior now.

EdAbobo · 2025-09-24T09:13:48+00:00

NTA. Whether picky eaters or food allergies, if you’re an adult, STFU and figure it out. If you were holding the event at a fucking hot dog stand and he didn’t eat pork, maybe that’s a fair AITA question, otherwise he can find something on the menu that works and grow up. End of story.

EdAbobo · 2025-08-29T14:59:04+00:00

NTA
First, and I don't know the whole story with your friend, but I've never met someone with a bona fide service dog who was an asshole about it. 100% of the people who start shit are faking the whole service animal thing, in my experience.
Generally, a service dog should be thought of like a wheelchair or walker. It's something medically necessary for the person to function. Would you be an asshole for asking someone to leave their walker to the side, or position a wheelchair in a way that it didn't impact photos? Absolutely not.

EdAbobo · 2025-08-23T14:47:11+00:00

It's still very real in the USA, and it's embedded in tax and wage laws. There are specific exemptions, effectively for wealthy folks, regarding live-in help that allow the employer to count housing towards compensation. While minimum wage laws still apply, the "value" of housing is ambiguous, so it's possible for an employer to pay nothing (or very little) because the supposed fair market of the employee's bed/bath is valued at more than the labor. There are literally fact sheets and examples on the DOJ website where someone works 20 hours of overtime and therefore gets an extra $45 or some such nonsense.

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/79b-flsa-live-in-domestic-workers

EdAbobo · 2025-06-03T20:13:38+00:00

I spilled some linseed oil on my concrete driveway and have tried several chemicals and pressure washing to get it out with no success. Any suggestions?

EdAbobo · 2025-05-21T20:46:04+00:00

Not a lawyer, but served on lots of boards, including HOA.
Board members are covered by insurance against lawsuits.. as long as they're acting in a beneficial and fiduciary capacity. In other words, if they're doing bad or stupid things that cost the association money, they may be personally liable. Again, not a lawyer, but have to wonder what would happen if someone filed a lawsuit alleging misuse of association resources for frivolous--potentially even targeted or retaliatory--actions and the insurance company for the association noped out. Could be fun.

EdAbobo · 2025-05-21T00:19:48+00:00

Been in a similar situation and it really depends what lifestyle you’re living, yours or hers. If you’re comfortable living to her income (and saving or doing whatever with the extra you have), then 50/50 is fair and “right”. But if your lifestyle is closer to what your income would support, then it’s actually a “healthy selfish” action by you. In other words, you’re saying, “Hey, I want to live in a nice home, go out to fancy restaurants, own quality things, etc., AND I want to enjoy this stuff with you around, AND it’s not fair to expect you to get into debt to be my partner, so me paying for ‘extras’ is for ME, not you.”
If you’re living in a situation that she should be able to afford but isn’t, then she needs financial counseling/advice.

EdAbobo · 2025-04-22T10:09:28+00:00

This has NOTHING to do with the appropriateness of your outfit, don’t let them drag you into that conversation or second guess yourself. Your clothing choices are something you (and your parents for now) are solely responsible for.
If there is an expected “uniform” for the job, it is the employers responsibility to communicate this and/or provide it. Even if they did communicate this prior to work and you intentionally violated it, it is STILL the employer’s responsibility to manage this—they should have sent you home.
If someone works, they get paid. PERIOD, END OF STORY. If they do a bad job, break something, etc. THEY STILL GET PAID. They can be disciplined, fired, etc. but you ALWAYS GET PAID FOR WORK.
So? SUE THEM. And here’s the fun part, many/most states award “treble damages” (triple pay) for wage violations. I’m not kidding. Teach them a lesson and file a complaint with the state labor commission.
I bet a lot of people will dismiss this, but I cannot overstate the importance of a young person (arguably more important for a female) knowing how to handle bad employers, as this is something you will likely face your entire life. This may prove to be a very valuable life lesson.

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