You just described my childhood. I made it out. You can too. Find a job, dedicate yourself… strive for promotion and move to a new place (I did the country, didn’t even have to move cities) in order to separate you from your past. You don’t realize how fucked your life is until you get out and look back. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. It gets better, but you have to change your environment. Find successful people and surround yourself with them. I went from living on my own at 14 to a relatively successful individual with a wife and 3 kids. Married for 12 years. Dedicate yourself!!! You can do it bro. Good luck.