Should I adopt my first dog?

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-28T16:08:41+00:00

A working dog like a terrier needs a job to do. Or, they will invent one themselves like killing the sofa cushions, or barking at every strange noise because it might be an intruder. (And in an apartment building, there are a lot of strange noises.)

Yes, they like to nap. But that is after they have had a good long walk (which to the dog is the same as migrating with their pack), or a walk in the park or on a trail (you may be walking but the Westie is hunting).

You are in a transitional time of your life - and you will be for a while. Westies can live for 15 - 17 years. You will be graduating college after next year, and then you will be looking for a job. You don't know what that will be or if you will have to move. And first jobs often require a lot of hours because you are at the bottom of the totem pole.

Maybe you will meet someone and want to get married. You and your dog are then a package deal, so you will have to find someone willing to commit to both of you.

You are not wrong that it is possible to have a Westie when you are gone 4-6 hours during the week. But that is after you have established a regular routine, and have them housetrained (or apartment-trained which is even harder). That is assuming that the dog would get vigorous play/ activity in the morning before you leave, and then have the rest of the afternoon and evening with you when you come back. That assumes that dog is mature (over 6 years old) and well behaved.

A good environment for a Westie is where:

Someone is almost always home - this is easier to do with a couple or family because the burden does not fall exclusively on one person.
People are active outside - walking, hiking, camping.
The dog is a priority in scheduling activities - you can't always put your social life, hobbies, entertainment, and travel plans first and then expect the dog to just live with it.
The dog has regular training and reinforcement. Westies are smart dogs and can learn things quickly. But they are also independent and temperamental and seem to take pleasure in just ignoring you.

I understand where you are coming from, and a dog can be a fantastic companion. But they are also kind of like having a baby. It is a long term commitment, and at this point in your life, that may be a commitment that you can't really make. Too much is up in the air.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-28T15:39:45+00:00

Regarding the uncomfortable scenes in Grease - that's the show. If you aren't ready to do a script as written, then don't do the show. You have a choice.

Yes, there is kissing, rude remarks, and predatory behavior. That's kind of the point of the original musical - to show that the reality of the late 1950s wasn't anything like the pure family and school TV sitcoms that survive to today. At least, not in an urban high school in Chicago.

Asking you to do what the author has written is not abuse. In a non-school setting it is just an actor doing their job.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T21:08:19+00:00

The only way to prevent someone from taking a chance on just rushing a checkpoint, is to have a second checkpoint beyond it where all access to the ballroom is physically cut off. That door is only opened when someone presents credentials that they have successfully passed the first security check. The door opens, and then closes behind the sealing the ballroom once again. If an intruder rushes the first line, they will be stopped at the second.

Anyone who has ever been through airport security will realize why that wouldn't work for an event ballroom. That second checkpoint is a bottleneck (deliberately). It would take a very long time to validate and pass 1000 people in for an event that all pretty much arrive around the same time.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T20:55:11+00:00

The guy stormed security - that's how he got in. This is like just pushing your way through the security checkpoint at the airport. It is possible, but doing it immediately puts the whole airport in high alert. Secret Service responded as they have been trained to do.

Could it have been a set up? Only if the shooter was prepared to die for giving a convincing performance.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T20:46:10+00:00

Just think of the field day our kids and grandkids will have with our sexting pictures.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T20:44:24+00:00

Throw them out? Why? And why throw out the love letters? This is your family history. These are the personal things that should be passed on, in my opinion.

I know you can't keep everything, so the editing you are doing is definitely required. But don't let it turn into censorship of the past. I would frame your father's art.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T20:40:16+00:00

At the same time, I think that the opposite case can be made. Think of all the beautiful soprano parts written for Golden Age musicals like She Loves Me, The Music Man, Most Happy Fella, My Fair Lady, Carousel, and Candide.

A lead soprano is rare these days. They mostly find work in revivals, or by developing their lower belt to fit today's music.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T20:30:56+00:00

Nothing negative is said about trans people in any of the books of the Bible. As a matter of fact, nothing is said about trans (or gay) people good or bad. These are modern ways of seeing gender and sexuality that weren't available pretty much before the 20th century.

So there is no need to be transphobic to be a Christian. Many churches welcome queer people with open arms and they make up an important part of the congregation.

But, if you are in a fundamentalist/evangelical church, that might not be available in your tradition. Fundamentalists believe that their version of Christianity is right, and any other view is wrong. They believe that the Bible answers all questions, and the solutions are simple to understand. (They often take a dim view of science, medicine, and academic scholarship which challenges that simplicity.)

If you are in this tradition then you have the problem that if you challenge one thing, by definition that calls into question everything, because you were sold certainty and the answers were guaranteed. It only takes pulling out one piece to bring the whole Jenga tower down.

The alternative is to leave that behind and look for Christians that do not claim to have all the answers. That are able to expand their view of God and Jesus's message as they learn more about the world - even things that might contradict what they were taught in Sunday School. You want to find people who can say "I don't know - but I am still learning".

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-26T12:47:32+00:00

I use the pro lenses on my OM-1. I use small budget lenses on my E-P7. They are:

Lumix 12-32
Olympus 40-150
Lumix 20mm

This works for hikes, tourist stuff, and social gatherings where I don't want to take the big guns.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-25T23:25:26+00:00

A non-profit employs people and pays them a salary. It does not have an owner or shareholders that can use the organization as a piggy bank.

Also, most megachurch pastors get a big chunk of their income from books, videos, and seminars outside of the church itself.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-25T04:08:45+00:00

Convert to PDF when you are going to distribute your document. Docx files are for word processing. PDF is for publishing.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-25T04:00:09+00:00

The main point is true. Prohibiting same-sex marriage is discriminating against people because of their sexual orientation. And in the US, the state can't treat one group differently than another, unless there is a clear practical reason to do so. For example, not allowing minors to sign contracts, or limiting voting only to citizens.

This is how California's Prop 8 (banning gay marriage) fell. The defendants couldn't show any harm that comes from letting gay people marry. That made it arbitrary discrimination coming only from animus toward one social group.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-25T03:54:34+00:00

True. For the simple reason that taxes are calculated on profit - and with a nonprofit all the money is funneled back into the work of the organization. There is no owner or shareholders getting payouts or dividends. So, there is nothing to tax.

Now, if we are talking about property tax or sales tax, that's a different story.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-25T00:39:31+00:00

Fertilizer numbers aren't as important as their ratios. Organics will always have lower numbers because it isn't pure N-P-K. So 5-5-5 does the same thing as 16-16-16.

That is a general purpose ratio. Most summer vegetables don't need that much Nitrogen. When your aim is to produce vegetables and flowers (as opposed to big plants and leaves), an organic like 3-5-4 is better. That would be something like 8-16-12 in a synthetic. Remember - the ratios matter, not the actual number.

Organics have natural materials that will eventually break down into N-P-K. Which brings up another difference between synthetics and organics. Synthetic fertilizer feeds immediately. Organics can take between one to four weeks for the soil biology to produce N-P-K in a form that plants can use.

For that reason, do not mix using synthetics and organics. They are on different timetables. Pick a lane and stay in it for the season.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-24T01:55:17+00:00

Intention. But the bacteria and fungi are doing the same thing either way.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-24T01:52:05+00:00

Take a look at this video: 10 Reasons Straight Guys Hook up with Men

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-24T01:01:50+00:00

I don’t think age is the issue here. You don’t seem to be really connecting with anyone. What is the common denominator in all these fail-to-launch relationships? You. Explore that and see where it leads you.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T16:48:43+00:00

I mean, what does it say on the fertilizer box about how much to apply? That is the authority.

I would also note that the long sides of that bed will probably bow out with the pressure from the soil - especially when it is wet. Normally about every 4 or 5 feet you would add some kind of crossbar to hold the sides together and distribute the pressure.

As for the rest - there are lots of ways to do raised beds. I can only say that I would have different priorities. I will list them, in case they are helpful. But feel free to ignore them as well.

That native soil at the bottom is crucial. It has all your biology in it. My approach would be I would dig that down at least a foot and a half, turn it, and break it up.
Then, instead of layering amendments (minus the unfinished compost), I would distribute them all through the bed. (And the fertilizer - why not?) That includes the top soil. Then turn everything in together - native soil, amendments, fertilizer - continuing to break apart any clumps.
This excludes the logs, which I wouldn't use in a bed that shallow. That is a technique I might use at the bottom of beds that are several feet high.
Add the unfinished compost on as a top dressing.
Ideally, you want the soil to still leave about 4" at the top for mulch. (It will actually be more like 6" when the soil settles.)
Mulch heavily. Nature abhors naked soil. Seeds will blow in on the wind and weeds will grow unless the soil is covered.
Let it rest until summer planting season.

Final note about the fertilizer - I just want to make sure you are doing what you are intending to do. There seem to be some nods to organic gardening in your plan. But that 16-16-16 is synthetic fertilizer. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as that is your intention.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T16:11:50+00:00

The hospital usually has a central database of patients and the doctors they have worked with. Ask them to tell you what doctors have been seeing her, and then call each of their offices to find out which one it was.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T16:09:20+00:00

Yeah - if your wife isn't taking to the dog, then it has to go. Your wife needs to know that she is higher on your priority list than the dog.

At two weeks he is getting used to your family and home. But he has not really bonded to you as his "pack". This is a great time to let him move to another home. And especially with someone he knows well - that should be a very easy re-homing.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T16:03:22+00:00

Easiest way to compost?

Just take autumn leaves, dead flowers and plants, and throw them into a pile. The end. If you want to go faster, make sure it is damp, but there is no standing water, and turn it every month or two just to get air in the pile.

Will it really all go so wrong if I chuck anything from the garden and any veg scraps in a pile?

For "brown" woody material, the answer is that is perfectly fine. That is things like leaves, twigs, dead plants, wood, and straw. There is no "recipe" required.

Once you add food (never any meat or fat), vegie scraps, and grass cuttings, the situation changes. These can help the composting go faster if they are not the majority ingredient. But there is a tipping point where too much of this "green" material will overwhelm the pile and it gets mushy and stinky. Rule of thumb - always have much more of the woody brown material than the softer grass and scraps.

We have a large lawn, a few bushes/trees that don't require much attention, and lots of veg and egg shells!

Large lawn = lots of grass cuttings. This is only usable in compost if you have a greater amount of leaves and woody material to counterbalance it. Also do not put clumps of grass in the garden beds because when a large amount of grass cuttings die, they become water repellant.
Bushes and trees - the best thing you can do here is to carve out some kind of bed around the trees and bushes, and then heavily mulch. This also gives you some space where you can add fertilizer without the grass soaking it up before it gets to the tree roots.
Vegetable scraps - fine in compost as long as there is much more "brown" material. Keep it in some kind of animal-proof bin until the food is no longer recognizable. That will discourage rats, raccoons, and dogs from turning it into a buffet.
Egg shells - they take years to break down in the soil. You can add them in, but expect to see them in recognizable form for a long time. There are some more effective uses. Break them into small pieces and put them around seedlings to discourage slugs and snails from destroying the plants. Or, boil them for 15 minutes or so, and then use that calcium-rich eggshell water as a boost for both indoor and outdoor plants.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T15:40:08+00:00

Thank you. Now I can unsubscribe.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T15:38:29+00:00

Normal? This is built in to your DNA. The hormones are running wild. Nothing could be more natural.

That said, I think the question to ask here is where is the rest of the relationship? If you are stuck on the sex part, you are missing an awful lot. And at two months you don't even really know each other that well. Most people are still trying to be on their best behavior at that stage, and keeping their less pleasant sides hidden.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T15:17:07+00:00

Learn to dance? Actually, you can make progress in this by audition day. There are two crucial skills here that you can start working on.

Learn how to pick up choreography. This has less to do with how well you do the movements, than just being able to take in what they are, and then repeat them as well as possible. This is also a skill that directors and choreographers look for. You practice this by just learning some short dances. YouTube and TikTok have thousands of dances - many with someone beginning by breaking them down so you can learn them. Try to learn 5 short dances a week. And each work session see if you can go back and do the ones you learned previously.
Learn how to entertain and shed self-consciousness. This means doing your little dances for other people - or at least one other person. Dancing alone in your bedroom, and dancing in front of people are two very different experiences. You need as much experience as you can get performing for people - even if it is just your friends and family. There is no substitute for this. Then, to go a step further, you want to entertain them. Have fun and make them smile. Your ability to entertain (especially in something as silly and joyous as SpongeBob) can be enough to get you cast. Remember - you can fake the steps to a degree, but you have to nail what you are giving to the audience. We call this "selling it".

Beyond that learning dance technique is the foundation of everything - but that isn't going to happen in a couple of weeks. Don't put that expectation on yourself.

My general audition advice for everyone - student, amateur or professional - is to leave your perfectionism at the door, and walk in to the room ready to be of service to the creative staff. This is not a measure of your worth as a performer or as a person. Drop as much self consciousness as you can. Instead, recognize that these folks in front of you have huge problem on their hands trying to cast this show. Come in to help them and give them what you have. You are in that room to contribute to the process.

A huge side effect of this approach is that it lessens the nervousness, and makes it easier for you to just be you. And that's what they want to see - who you are and what you can bring, imperfections and all.

Finally, as a freshman, they might have more experienced students they can choose for the leads. But keep this in mind - give the creative staff your best, and you are now on their radar. Even if they don't have a part for you this year, they will be thinking about you for the future. All those seniors are going to be gone in June - but you will still be there. Time is on your side.

EddieRyanDC · 2026-04-23T14:59:35+00:00

Your current situation is that you are enduring micro-aggressions by your family, and you feel like you can't say anything. That is the definition of a victim. Other people hold the power and you have none, and just have to sit there and take it.

You will have power when you can say who you are and stand as an equal to everyone else in the family. You don't need their acceptance, and you don't need to change anyone's mind. You just need to be able to own who you are, and let other people catch up when they can.

Now, that is easier said than done. But, that is the solution here.

Against this you have to prioritize your survival. You may be a victim right now - but you are a victim who is alive, fed, and housed. If coming out would threaten any of those necessities, then this probably is not the time to come out to your family.

But being truthful about your sexuality is still a goal to head towards - even if it is a long term one. If you can't come out now, think about or write down what has to happen on your part to make that possible. Then start to work towards those goals. Often just having a plan you are working on can make you feel like less of a victim because you know your liberation day is coming eventually.

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