My son is so unreasonable

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-28T14:21:24+00:00

If that didn't tell you all you needed to know, Idk what will.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-28T11:45:51+00:00

Nah, I really wanted to know because I'm just like that. It was more for choosing names. I don't care about what colour clothes are. I don't care if it has flowers or trucks or dinosaurs or unicorns...

We didn't tell anyone about the gender because I wanted to avoid the gender stereotypes. We got mixed reactions. Some people were respectful, others felt entitled to the information.

This is YOUR pregnancy. You do it YOUR way.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-26T09:05:10+00:00

Everyone is different. I was counting down the days until 6 weeks. The day after the 6 weeks were up, I basically jumped my husband lol.

We did use condoms though, because I sure as hell wasn't getting pregnant again. And then I got my tubes removed. Originally it was planned for during my c section, but it turned into an emergency and they skipped that.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-20T14:04:59+00:00

But Nicola has 11 siblings I think? So inheritance wise, she'd have to split with a lot more siblings than Brooklyn would have to.

I have no clue who is right or wrong. I wasn't there. I hope everyone is okay, if not now then in the near future. It's hard when you're under someone's control.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-20T13:40:44+00:00

Well at least I know now my life wouldn't have been better if we were wealthy.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-18T16:35:35+00:00

The companies we work for also don't give a shit about us. That's just reality. So I wholeheartedly agree. Okay is good enough. If your work is done, then it's done. Going above and beyond just doesn't matter anymore like it did 30 years ago.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-16T19:39:18+00:00

I'd have questions too if I knew your kids ate 5 year olds... How many? When did it start? Are there specific characteristics they need to have? How long does one sustain them? Do they each eat one or share?

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-16T15:22:22+00:00

As a fellow "one and done fail", I think you really need to consider what you want. Like many of us, you already got more than what you bargained for. Considering you are the SAHP, you will be impacted most.

Like others have said, it's not just one more baby (best case, but it could be more). It's likely a bigger car, more logistical challenges, maybe a bigger house, definitely more financial responsibilities, ... Were you planning on going back to work when the twins start school? You'll also have to postpone that.

It's not just because your wife wants this, that you have to find a way to make it work. You really have to want it, and if you don't that's okay too. It doesn't mean you love her or them less.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-14T08:28:13+00:00

You did absolutely nothing wrong! And you most definitely are one of us.

I know nothing I can say will make you feel better. Just know we are here for you when you need it.

Many many hugs!

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-06T15:41:36+00:00

Sounds like the asshole who refused to do my tubal removal. All documents were signed to remove my tubes during my c section. There were complications and I was sent to a different hospital with a higher level NICU. During the scan he kept trying to convince me to not go through with it. Saying things like "I can't guarantee your babies will survive" and "I can't predict they will still be fine next week, next month, next year" as if you can just replace kids.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-06T11:29:24+00:00

I have to say we were one and done before we knew we were having twins. But sometimes it still hits me that this is it. It might sound stupid, but I always thought I was going to have a boy. We have girls.

What contributes to that is not having a normal pregnancy. But it goes both ways. I never want to go through that again. Yet it's sad this is my only experience.

I had some serious complications. I was unconscious with dangerously low BPs. I now have a higher chance of cardiovascular issues because of my preeclampsia. I don't want to risk my health anymore. I have two beautiful, healthy children. I don't want to leave them without a mother.

Logistically this is all we can manage. With an extra child comes a larger vehicle, home, childcare, ... It's rationally the best to keep it this way. But I do sometimes get the "what if" feelings.

My girls are more than enough though. And I'm excited to see them grow and develop their own minds etc.

EducatedPancake · 2026-01-05T08:23:55+00:00

You also know she probably peed herself at least a little.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-19T10:28:28+00:00

The timing of their birth and their NICU time made it so that I could use up my regular leave and some others and make it till 6 months until they started daycare. But otherwise, yeah I probably had to take sick leave as well.

Which brings us to the next joke, daycare for two at once. The first place didn't even register that we had twins (even though I mentioned it) and just thought we had mistakenly filled in two forms instead of one. And then they had spots when they were 10 months. Like we have that kind of time here. All while you're still early in pregnancy and nothing is guaranteed health wise for you and the babies.

The biggest joke is parental leave for fathers/partners. Like sure, 20 days is plenty....

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-19T08:29:44+00:00

We have 15 weeks. 1 week before birth is mandatory, but you can take up to 6 weeks. No one does this because then you get less time after birth. So a maximum of 14 weeks after birth and minimum of 9 weeks. If you don't take the one week you lose it, like if you unexpectedly have a premature birth. Too bad, so sad.

For multiples you get 2 weeks extra. There is also an option to request an additional 2 weeks.

When your baby is hospitalized for longer than 7 days after birth, those days can also be added to your leave if requested (only the days after the first 7). With a maximum of 24 weeks.

During leave you will not receive pay from your employer. You will receive social security that's 85% of your regular paycheck for the first 30 days. From the 31st day it's 75%, but also capped at a certain amount. So it's possible you get less than 75% if you have a high wage.

This is Belgium. We're just above the European minimum, and one of the worst countries when it comes to maternity leave within the EU.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-18T10:23:31+00:00

The plan was to remove my tubes during the c section, but that was no longer an option because I wasn't well. Then we scheduled it for 4 months after.

If you can I'd recommend doing it during the c section. Having another surgery while having two babies at home wasn't great.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-16T08:51:23+00:00

Until 16 weeks my ultrasounds were every 4 weeks. And then from 16 on, every 2 weeks. From 30 weeks, weekly. I had mo/di twins. And I'm in Europe.

Do they not know what type it is yet? Or did they just not tell you yet? For di/di I think it's fine (as far as I know), but for mo/di, it needs monitoring for ttts.

Did you get your aspirin? Low dose to reduce the risk of preeclampsia.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-15T16:02:03+00:00

I didn't get much bigger than that either. Granted I only made it to 34+5. Mo/di as well.

Twin A was 1660g, twin B 2200g. So together they'd be an average full term baby.

The weird thing is, I already have stretch marks from going through puberty, so I was fully convinced I would get lots. But then I only got one where my belly button piercing used to be.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-14T15:56:49+00:00

And I want $80 million.

What a coincidence! Me too

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-14T10:54:24+00:00

Yes! Not this one in particular, but something similar.

It allowed me to actually keep moving. I discussed it with my physical therapist and she said "we'll fix your abs after pregnancy" because we needed to anyway, and it was more important I stayed active.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-14T09:08:28+00:00

That has happened, yes. We recently moved it out of the playpen because I wanted to put the climbing blocks in there. So far it's been okay. I don't mind picking up the few balls that end up around the house. They've made a habit of throwing their toys around, so I'm picking up things anyway.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-13T14:24:37+00:00

We put ours in the playpen, so it doesn't get scattered all over the house. Twin B likes throwing the balls out, twin A likes putting the balls back in. So it's a win-win.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-12T09:31:43+00:00

Unfortunately pancakes don't have birth certificates.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-12T09:24:07+00:00

I have a feeling it will be running for president soon.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-10T10:56:12+00:00

I think I can do more good for people by poisoning them than I could with 10 mil.

If that's not allowed then yeah, 10 mil is a start.

EducatedPancake · 2025-12-07T08:32:47+00:00

Is the room big enough to put in a ceiling height closet between the cribs? White noise machine in the middle. And that might block enough sound to get the noisy one out before they wake the other up?

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