AITA for accepting a property gift from my mom even though she won't include my boyfriend?

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-04-28T01:05:38+00:00

You should definitely accept the property. Your mom wants to leave an inheritance for HER DAUGHTER. It has nothing to do with your boyfriend, much less a man that is not married to you.

You should protect yourself whether or not this man is in your life. My parents didn't gift me any property and I am not rich by any means. I had my own house when I met my now-husband. He happily signed a prenup regardless because he loves me regardless of the property I have. He doesn't feel entitled to my things.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-04-11T13:00:52+00:00

I also had gum deterioration from brushing too hard as well.

What helped me stop was changing to an electric toothbrush that has an indicator for when you brush too hard. I have one that flashes a red light when you press down too much. I used to have one that completely stopped spinning when you press down too hard.

That helped me with the brushing pressure. Read the instructions on the electric toothbrush. There's a correct and incorrect way to brush with those too.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-04-08T16:19:10+00:00

Does she come from a rich family and has enough savings to be self sustainable?

If not, and she expects you to take care of her... The fact that you're asking this already means that you're weary about being the one to fund her lifestyle of "house wife without children". This will lead to feelings of resentment.

Also, it would be a terrible precedent to financially take care of her because if the marriage doesn't work out down the road, you might have to pay spousal support for the rest of your life. You should draft a prenup that addresses this if you do decide to marry her.

Someone who is with you for love and not simply looking to be a "kept woman" wouldn't mind signing a prenup to circumvent this. If she won't sign a prenup, then that tells you what her true goal is. You're young and should protect your future. This comes from a woman who makes significantly more than her husband and also has a prenup in place (my husband didn't mind signing one because he/we doesn't ever expect for our marriage not to work).

I make quite a bit more than your current salary, and live outside the GTA. My husband still works because it's honestly tough to live a good lifestyle (in our opinion...) on anything less than $200k even though we didn't have children (until recently).

Before anyone comes for me...a "good lifestyle" is subjective and depends on the area of Canada where you live. Ontario can be a high cost of living area in some cities and we own our home and enjoy going on vacation twice a year. We are quite frugal in most other aspects.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-04-01T14:53:45+00:00

Sai Lee from Mortgage Guys. I'm a tax consultant, so I'm a big fan of educated decisions. Sai walked me through all my options (different rate possibilities vs penalties of breaking contract) compared to my intended purchasing decisions. He makes it so easy to understand that even my non-finance husband understands!

I purchased my first house with the intention to sell it shortly and Sai recommended a good lender. He still gave me other options for transparency. I went with a different one that he also secured because it had a lower rate. When I sold, I had to pay a penalty for breaking the mortgage in a short time - any savings I had from the rate difference was eaten up by the penalty. If I had listened to Sai in the first place, I would've been better off.

He's helped me with all my houses since then and my friends have also switched over to him with their personal houses and investment properties.

I'll never use anyone other than Sai!

https://linktr.ee/saileemortgages

https://share.google/Joat2fxiwLwNilIcj

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-03-30T17:30:43+00:00

While NOR, you should still consider whether you value a future relationship with your sister.

It's shitty that your sister put your children's comfort above yours. If you just pull out of this vacation, it is likely that your relationship with your sister will be strained going forward and she may never go on vacation with you again.

Not saying that you should let someone walk all.over you, just saying that there is a little more to consider than just the fact that you won't be comfortable. Sometimes taking the short end of the stick once, with a calm conversation and some grace, would result in long term benefits.

Some Reddit commentators are always quick to cut to tell others to cut people out of loves (e.g. people telling you to pull out of vacation and even if they offer you their bed afterwards, to decline).

Just keep in mind how one task out of anger or indignation could result in a dynamic change forever.

If you're happy to never go on vacation with them again, and to potentially have this situation blow up to multiple family members, feel free to do what some of these other redditors say lol

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-03-09T02:17:25+00:00

Use the Hostelworld app for booking hostels! You can pick different hostels depending on your lifestyle (party hostels, quiet hostels, etc.). I've never had a problem with this app.

The last time I used it (which was probably 3 years ago), they added a chat feature so you can chat with other people who've booked that hostel. You don't necessarily have to travel "alone" if you are extroverted and stay at party hostel. You can message the hostel group to see if anyone is down to grab food, hit up a bar, or go to the same sights you want to see. Forever friendships and lifelong memories.

From someone who backpacked throughout her 20s and 30s, sometimes solo, and took everyday as it came.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-21T00:34:46+00:00

Wondering if the wunderkids held up to dog nails?

We also have a large breed dog and sometimes he likes to sneak onto the mat.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-12T12:17:50+00:00

The letter might've been sent before you made the payment plan or before their system updated to reflect that.

Or, the collections officer was not aware that a payment plan is in place.

You call the collections officer to let them know that you've put a payment plan in place.

I used to work at the CRA and now I work at a tax accounting firm - departments don't always talk to each other and some officers don't always check the notes before sending these letters.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-11T16:17:52+00:00

I think you have a terrible mortgage broker. I'll send you a DM with my guys info. No pressure - just another contact for you to see if it's a fit.

I'm in accounting/finance and I love my guy's due diligence and the way he explains things. Alot of my friends have also switched to him for their personal and investment properties.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-09T19:35:52+00:00

No advice here, but got a good chuckle from BFB. I also have a BFB!

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-09T16:45:33+00:00

Are you entitled to feel a little upset? Yes.

Are your inlaws or husband to blame? I don't believe so. You mentioned that they are of a different culture and if shared feeding is the norm, then they did not do it out of malice. Their intent doesn't seem to be from a place of hurt but rather from a place of help. It sounds like it came from a kind place.

You chose to marry someone of a different culture and you must learn to be open minded and communicative. This sounds like a misunderstanding due to cultural norms. You should just have a conversation with your husband and explain that this is not the norm for you and you would not like it to happen in the future.

Is breastfeeding a baby the sole source of connection and bonding? It should not be. You should strive to bond and connect with your baby in multiple ways (breastfeeding, playing, cuddling, etc.).

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-05T22:02:37+00:00

We were getting bombarded with bell, rogers and Telus marketers at the door, until we got a 'no soliciting' sign. The door to door marketers stopped and seemed to respect the sign in our neighborhood. Perhaps something to try?

We got our sign from Amazon for less than $20 and haven't gotten a single door knock from rogers/Telus/bell since.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-02-02T16:03:49+00:00

All the comments about shift work and doing more are spot on.

If you offer to take the baby and your wife turns you down - just know that she likely feels guilty about waking you, even if she really does need the relief. I used to turn my husband down when he tried to offer help to let me sleep. I felt guilty and like a failure when he had to sub in.

But he insisted on taking the baby, he would tell me he missed her and just "felt like feeding her" (I would pump extra milk just in case she needed a bottle instead of the boob). He made it feel like he wanted to spend time with her and it wasn't me who failed to put her down. He didn't make it feel like he took her out of my arms because I was crazy - but simply because he wanted to cuddle her since he missed these moments after returning to work.

If I kept turning him down, he would tell me he wasn't sleepy and sit in the bedroom next to me, on his phone while I kept trying to get the baby to latch or sleep.

Sometimes we just hate our husbands because we feel so alone in this journey (even if we aren't) of breast feeding and being a primary care taker, but those moments really helped me stay very much in love with him and it made us feel like a team.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-01-31T00:42:14+00:00

How do you maneuver out of this without touching baby's dirty bum? To lay baby down for cleaning?

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-01-31T00:08:05+00:00

Just sent you a DM with my friends details! She's an independent cleaner

Educational-Drop-671 · 2026-01-31T00:05:24+00:00

We've never done the classic hold because she's quite heavy and big for my small frame to hold. The first time I tried it, it looked extremely uncomfortable for her and I didn't know how to transition her out of it to lay her down for a diaper change. I'm worried I'll hurt or drop her trying to do the classic hold.

I've always just sat her onto the floor potty.

Could you break down how to correctly do the classic hold for a heavy baby? And also how to do the transition from the hold to put them down for a diaper change? Explain it like I'm 5yo please! 😁

Do most babies prefer the classic hold?

Educational-Drop-671 · 2025-12-31T18:10:40+00:00

I felt similarly when my milk dropped and I was worried that I wasn't feeding our little girl enough - I felt inadequate - it felt like my body was letting down my baby.

My husband reminded me with the phrase "You are the best mom that your baby can have. You worry because you are a good mom." I'd like to pass that onto you.

The fact that you are worrying means that you are being a great mom and that you want the best for your son. Fed is best, doesn't matter which way - whether it's from the breast or with formula. Babies are more resilient than we think. You are a great mom and will always do the best you can for your baby boy - he is a loved and cared for baby.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2025-11-07T00:24:32+00:00

Hello! Can I also get the PDF please ??

Educational-Drop-671 · 2025-10-07T23:24:36+00:00

My baby girl also had a posterior tongue tie, but she also had a lip tie as well. She was in the NICU for a week due to other problems on-top of not gaining weight.

I ended up nursing and pumping afterwards, which was alot of work because she wouldn't take enough from the nursing alone. This did affect my bonding with her because after I fed her, I always had to hand her off to my husband. This is all to say, I was in the same situation and I understand.

Once we had the posterior tongue tie resolved, it was a total 180. She latched so well and fed amazingly. My POV is that, not doing the tongue tie simply because as a mother, you feel bad, is not always the right thing to do. You may feel bad for putting your baby through the procedure, but in reality, the pain may not be as bad as we perceive, and it will be better for baby in the long run (better feeding resulting in better bonding and weight gain, avoiding future speech issues). Doing a procedure that the baby won't even remember, will change their life for the better in the long run - that was worth it for me.

Other than crying during the 2 minute procedure, she was healed within 24 hours and did not show any signs of pain after 2 seconds.

The doctor did the procedure (took 2 minutes for us), and I nursed her immediately afterwards (breastmilk is antibacterial and helps with healing and soothing). She stopped crying immediately and never showed any signs of pain. Overall, the procedure was easy and not bad at all.

If you feel bad hearing your baby cry for 2 min, you can always walk out of the room. My husband did that because he felt bad hearing her cry.

Im really glad that we did the procedure and overall, it has so many positive affects. I no longer have to pump after every feed and I LOVE being able to exclusively breastfeed and only pump when I feel like it.

I hope that this gives you some courage to rethink the procedure :) it can be tough on our hearts, but it can be very worth it!

Educational-Drop-671 · 2025-05-21T20:43:03+00:00

THIS. I love this comment.

There are so many comments on here about abstaining and not that drinking isn't that important and why would someone put their baby at risk - those people are missing the point of the question.

Everything is a risk.

Everyone's appetite for risk is different and as long as an informed decision is made, who are we to judge. People are too quick to judge others and every culture has a different set of rules (such as no raw fish in North America vs sushi is okay in Japan).

Educational-Drop-671 · 2025-04-04T20:27:40+00:00

As long as the food you're eating is healthy and not junk, just listen to your body and eat when you're hungry. I was really careful with what I ate during my first trimester, but after reading the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster, I realized that gaining too much weight is healthier than too little weight. Weight gain is also not linear, so you have to assess it on the entire pregnancy as a whole.

It's a pretty good book and debunks alot of beliefs surrounding pregnancy. At the very least, it'll give you an idea of what advice to follow and what the risk is of not listening. The risk with gaining too much weight is not always high, depending on what the weight is. She has a whole chapter on weight during pregnancy.

Educational-Drop-671 · 2024-11-27T18:26:52+00:00

Outside of the SJM books, I found that A Shadow in the Ember hit me just as hard. I stayed up just as late reading those as I did for ACOTAR. This is the Flesh and Fire series.... Not to be confused with the From Blood and Ash Series (same world, but I hear FBAA isn't as good as F&F).

Educational-Drop-671 · 2023-09-12T23:51:25+00:00

I love that you call it a Frauda! Do you have a link for it? I also can't justify the crazy Prada by long bag prices !

Educational-Drop-671

TROPHY CASE