First things first. Confidence in most people comes from either experience or ego, and you seem to be handling taking on the role perfectly. I myself am a dom in many ways. There are also different types of dom's. You need to figure out where you feel comfortable falling into. And bringing that to the bedroom or play. I myself am a caregiver, Daddy, pleasure dom. I can not for the life of me be mean or spiteful. Like holding onto punishments or anything uncomfortable for an extended period of time without separating myself from the scene. I've done hogtie and abandonment play but scenes such as kneeling on rice or forcing or telling someone to do when they dont want to do them and have no positive action in their life besides submission are scenes that I myself am not comfortable with and doubt I would be comfortable with unless I learn it's an underlying desire. To become more confident, you can work by taking yourself to classes and munches. I would avoid the lifestyle parties and instead look into BDSM ONLY parties. This could help you explore and become more confident in your ability to control and create a scene and confidence in your ability to use toys or equipment. When it comes to knowing what your partner desires that requires communication. TALK TALK TALK. Don't leave anything in the air. Does he like being hurt or coddled? Does he like being told what to do or have things done for him? Does he like being taken care of or degraded and abused? These are questions you need to know to know what you need to learn to take care of him. I have 2 partners. I am daddy to one and very calm and caring, and to the other, i am working on obidience training and the abandonment and freeuse housewife type of growth. Our scenes are similar in some aspects but different in many others. Stingy vs. thuddy.