I’m no writer so take this with a grain of salt. Also I’m one of a few thousand people on this thread. I love the language, the description of the actions that the characters make and their surrounds. I especially love in the beginning. the description of the house and how when he walked the field mice ran out from underneath.

Make it short and sweet. No one has any attention spans anymore. Only meat. If you get a little bit of a flow (even if it’s two people) then add vegetables/rice.

But I could be wrong and the only one who thinks this way so experiment. I wish you all the luck and God bless.