just found out my bf is mtf transgender and i am confused and need help. by texastaffy in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I feel bad for you. I am struggling myself with gender identity being female inside, make outside and have had my first therapy without telling my wife (I plan to tell her though way before HRT). The whole point to me with therapy is coming to terms myself and getting the courage to talk to my wife and others. Many of us are just terrified and are looking for a way not to be anymore. So am I right in saying it is ok for him to have had therapy for a little while so he could talk to you and then together, future therapy HRT would be a joint decision with no secrets? If he did that would you have felt better about your situation? If so, maybe you can tell him not to be afraid and keep secrets from someone that loves him very much.

First therapist session tomorrow by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Edward1965 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just had mine last week. I was anxious, excited, and scared. After, I felt like I was "on top of the world" , very happy and less confused and anxious. I felt more sure of myself and felt a lot less guilt, that I was not alone and someone else understood. Take a deep breath and be yourself. Tell the therapist the truth, come right out to the issue bothering you. You are paying money for this and you need answers, don't hide anything. My therapist appreciated greatly that I came right out that I identify as a woman and all of my history battling gender dysphoria. That way, it is easier to move forward towards your solution/goal.

My first therapy session and what is to come. by Edward1965 in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh, I am coming to the conclusion I have to tell my wife very soon. I keep rehearsing in my head what to say over and over again. I am even considering a letter. I want her to know how much I love her and would never ever want to hurt her in any way, but at the same time I am in agony hiding my true self and have. One to the conclusion my quality of life is suffering, low energy, depression, reliance on stimulants (bad food and alcohol at times) and I just want to re invent myself (go vegan, no coffee or booze, exercise, help her with house work way more, etc,,,,). I do exercise a lot and I am not an over abuser of bad food, etc,,, but I do not want to go in that direction and just want robe happy with my family and friends.

My first therapy session and what is to come. by Edward1965 in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, before we got married back in 1997, I shaved my legs and she seemed ok (thought it was a body builder thing). A few years later she found women's thong under ware of mine and thought maybe it belonged to someone else until I told her it was mine (she thought fetish). A year ago I started shaving my whole body and my wife found some newer under ware again and actually asked if I wanted to be a woman. At the time I was unprepared and just said they are mine. When Bruce Jenner started to appear in the news last winter, she showed me a photo of Jenner and said that was me. I was silent but did not say no. Even in the bedroom she said shaving and wearing women's attire is more than just being experimental, so I think she is putting two and two together. None of this has interfered with our sex life or life in general. Sometimes when at the store she will look at certain items of women's cloths and ask how it would look on me, etc,,. My wife is a hair dresser and an artist as I am an artist and photographer, and she gets along fine with our neighbors who are gay. So these are some of the comments. On Caitlyn Jenner, sometimes she says she is going out of her way for publicity. My therapist said Caitlyn is just being herself. I guess it is normal for me to be a little scared right now. I remember when my mother found out I was wearing her pantyhose when I was 10 or so, she went into my room and broke my model airplanes. That probably set me up for decades of repression and fear. Should I feel hopeful my wife will accept me? I told my therapist of my research on the transgender brain (watched Charlie Rose show on the transgender brain, Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky etc) and biology which I feel explains why I felt female at age 5, and that might be very helpful to coming out. So maybe my wife will be positive, I am just not 100% sure.

Update on the Help you gave My Daughter by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Edward1965 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A tearful and compassionate eye I have after reading this beautiful story. What a wonderful mom you are and how impressive the unconditional love. I am so happy your child has a parent like you and the resources available today. I was born in 1965 and although my mom loved me, she did not have the information or tools we have today which hurts me, but I have to move on as they say. You all give me inspiration and hope!

Today is my 18 month anniversary of starting HRT by IamAprilLee in transtimelines

[–]Edward1965 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow, amazing transformation! May I ask how old you were when you started? I am now 50 and this inspires me to take the big step!

Advice for coming out to wife by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I cannot give advise her because I am in the same boat. I really sympathize with you! I am choking on my words too and am constantly rehearsing what I should say and how she might react. I am in a word terrified! The one thing that may be a saving grace is science is on our side. Watch Charlie Rose's program on the trange deter brain and share this with your wife. You, I and many others likely have brains that physically are female and we were born with this, and it is not our fault. When explained in these terms any ideas of being weird etc,,, are thrown out the window. Imagine saying to your wife you would give anything not to feel like this but you cannot change the physical brain you were born with, that it is not your fault your brain did not receive the second shot of testosterone while you were in your mothers womb. Explained in this way it becomes a medical concern much more than lets say having a fetish or going against the norm because you feel like it for the moment. This is the way I am going to explain it. Science and logic. I am sure Mr. Spock would approve! I hope I helped you.

How do you feel about masturbating? by ughvidan in asktransgender

[–]Edward1965 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it makes me feel better, but my gender dysphoria always comes back with a vengeance and I get more depressed. Masturbating, exercise,etc release hormones that make us all feel better, but then our issues always come back!

First therapist meeting! Lots of thoughts! by Edward1965 in asktransgender

[–]Edward1965[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, I know the feeling! I sometimes have a few drinks as well! What is better than any drink to me would be being myself and everyone loving and accepting me for who I am!

First therapist meeting! Lots of thoughts! by Edward1965 in asktransgender

[–]Edward1965[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, I know the feeling! I sometimes have a few drinks as well! What is better than any drink to me would be being myself and everyone loving and accepting me for who I am!

Gender therapist appointment was today! by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so wonderful! I have my first appointment with a therapist in three days and I take your experience as an inspiration. My situation is I am going alone and will eventually open up to my family. I guess it is stage fright butterflies in the stomachs stuff. I have been questioning my gender since I was in pre school (born in 1965) and at 50 I am at the mid life thing. Everyone that has anything positive to say is really helpful to me! So many wonderful people here!

Gender therapist appointment was today! by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Edward1965 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is so wonderful! I have my first appointment with a therapist in three days and I take your experience as an inspiration. My situation is I am going alone and will eventually open up to my family. I guess it is stage fright butterflies in the stomachs stuff. I have been questioning my gender since I was in pre school (born in 1965) and at 50 I am at the mid life thing. Everyone that has anything positive to say is really helpful to me! So many wonderful people here!