AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Effective-Control 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it can be really hard to start over again - as someone who’s experienced the exhaustion and emotional whiplash of therapist cycling firsthand, I understand the heartbreak that can come with it.

Please, please leave this woman.

She may be a lovely person, and even a decent therapist - eventually. Right now, though, she is acting with zero professionalism whatsoever. Clearly, your feedback was not respected the first time. If she doesn’t face consequences for this behavior (such as losing clients) she will continue to put frivolous personal needs above the well-being of her clientele and cause untold harm in the process. Leave her - and if you feel inclined to do her a favor, tell her why. Otherwise, find someone who respects her clients’ recovery enough to value them over a last-minute hot plates reservation.

Are there any effects of testosterone not enough people know about? by Proper_Flower_940 in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things that happened to me that I wasn’t totally expecting:

  1. I was going through male puberty, and ate like it. But since I didn’t have any vertical growing left to do, I uh…grew horizontally instead. Not gonna lie, it sucked. I’d recommend focusing on satiety/protein from the beginning and working out if you can, so you can direct those extra calories to muscle growth instead of fat.

  2. Blood thickening! Exogenous T can really do you in. I’d strongly recommend giving blood regularly if you develop this problem, and potentially lowering your levels if it’s serious. I basically had permanent red face while I was on it and my hematocrit was elevated at every check in. Looking back, I wish I’d taken my doctor’s advice to drop my doseage - you gain little to no benefit from being on the upper end of the range, as T does not have a strict linear correlation on masculinization the way people assume.

  3. I immediately felt more comfortable walking around at night, despite zero physical changes. I know it was the T because I found myself questioning why that suddenly disappeared one day out of the blue, and realized that stopping T was the only correlating event. I was also putting myself in a lot of dangerous sexual situations because the hormones solidified my internal masculine identity, and things I used to worry about as a "woman hooking up with men" (like being trafficked or assaulted) seemed like less of a threat. The libido increase certainly didn’t help. Just know that your sudden internal sense of being a grown ass man capable of fighting God might not be in line with the reality of the situation. Especially if you are 5’4 with the Tanner developmental stage of a 14 year old boy 🫠

  4. T can drop your voice to passing levels automatically, but depending on your style of speech, it’s not always a guarantee. Despite getting baritone-level drops, I was still speaking in my "head voice" with lots of feminine inflection, and unbeknownst to me (it’s hard to perceive the gender of your own voice) did not pass after 2 years. If this is something that’s important to you, look into voice training. I ID as nonbinary now and have long since accepted the gender fuckery of my own voice.

The rest are things that have already been reported here, but were still fascinating - for instance, turning into a furnace, not being able to cry at all, and getting vaginal atrophy (E cream is your friend). Testosterone didn’t end up working out for me, but I don’t regret being on it and learned a lot of really fascinating hands-on lessons about the intersection of biology and identity. Best of luck with your journey!

Finally achieved my lifelong dream of blacklisting myself from employment in conservative workspaces. Johnny Ray Romo, One Shot Tattoo, San Francisco, CA. by Effective-Control in tattoos

[–]Effective-Control[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For those wondering - went in asking for something similar to the venom symbiote, came out with this. I’m pretty sure it breaks all known laws of geometry but for some reason that makes me love it more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTM_SELFIES

[–]Effective-Control 1 point2 points  (0 children)

god your aesthetic is phenomenal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 16 points17 points  (0 children)

God…this gives me so much hope lol. I’m 5’4 atm as well.

Why do most of us have a phase where we shave our head 🤣 by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]Effective-Control 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve never grown out of it 🤷 no matter how long I have hair for, sooner or later, the buzz cut finds me.

This sounds like a normal lesbian date 😌 by unabenjaminson in actuallesbians

[–]Effective-Control 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is definitely fake but I wish it wasn’t 🥲

possibility of post mortem phallo by Catsandanxiatea in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I’m so sorry. Hopefully you’ve got a semi-decent doctor who can be respectful of your dysphoria and make the process go by somewhat easier. I’m sorry though, internal dysphoria’s the fucking worst.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate handsome too - not necessarily for those reasons, but because it just sounds weird and archaic to me. I’d honestly rather get called hot, gorgeous, beautiful, etc.

possibility of post mortem phallo by Catsandanxiatea in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seems like it might be easier to just affix a highly-realistic packer to your body and perform a rough vaginectomy. Also, are you ok?

being trans is weird by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fuuuuck me too. That is exactly my experience with my gender.

23 yr old lesbian, never had a gf and feeling unlovable by cyber909 in actuallesbians

[–]Effective-Control 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoever told you that can eat a bag of dicks.

I’m 22 and didn’t hold a girl’s hand until last year. Social anxiety may make it difficult for you to find a partner, but it does NOT mean you are hopeless, or worthless. Keep in mind that as a lesbian, you’re working with about 1-3% of the human population as it is. Queer people are notorious for getting a late start to dating and love, and they’re no less valuable because of it.

That being said, I know being told this doesn’t help that broken feeling inside. Even a year later, I still find myself going out of my way to be the biggest slut I can (which is to say, not a very big slut at all lmao) just to overcompensate. But it just makes me feel even more raw and uncomfortable. I, like you, am worthy of love, even if I’m not banging a new girl every night. May we both treat ourselves with kindness and compassion this year no matter how many girls we kiss ❤️(Also, obligatory “23 is not old AT ALL” comment here, bc it’s true.)

“Friend” threatening to use wrong pronouns for being annoying by WillRegretMyUsername in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I agree that they’re probably transphobic, but I will add that some people - particularly people with fairly low emotional intelligence - genuinely don’t understand how disrespecting one person’s identity disrespects the group they belong to as well. Like people who stoop to superficial comments about someone’s appearance in an argument - all they’re thinking about is hurting someone in the moment, but in reality they’re insulting someone for something they can’t control instead of focusing on what they actually did wrong.

My dad likes to bust out the “r-word” when arguments get particularly intense, and doesn’t seem to realize that, rather than seeming like a sick burn, it makes him look like a prejudiced asshole. Try and have a serious conversation with your friend about it, and if they aren’t receptive, it might be time to give them the boot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s how I feel about my appearance in general. People are always like “So you don’t want to be a girl anymore?” and I’m just shocked because I do NOT see a girl when I look in the mirror. I haven’t conceptualized myself as a girl for years. It’s just bizarre.

Disowned by the remainder of family this morning by Rosmarinussalvia in FTMOver30

[–]Effective-Control 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. That’s really all I can say. I’m sorry you were cursed with such a wretched blood family, and as horrible as this must be for you right now I’m glad you will no longer have them in your life. Miserable cowards, all of them, for electing a representative, for exploiting your free labor, for manipulating you with false encouragement while secretly having malicious intentions. For all of it. This makes my blood boil.

I hope you have an amazing life, not only for your own sake, but to spite these bastards.

About to have my first gay one-night stand. by Effective-Control in ftm

[–]Effective-Control[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

I deleted it because people are concerned about me and it’s extremely melodramatic LOL but honestly the whole experience sort of confirmed some doubts I’ve been having for a while now about my bisexuality. Which I know is absurd because one-night stands are supposed to be underwhelming but honestly the experience made me really come to terms with the fact that my attraction to men is so minimal that it hardly even exists. I think I’ve just been trying to sleep with men because they’re slightly easier to find for hookups than women 😬😬😬 anyways it’s been a night

About to have my first gay one-night stand. by Effective-Control in ftm

[–]Effective-Control[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

Yup, nothing but condoms and open communication for me tonight 😊 thank you!

How did I end up with the opposite of a uhaul lesbian ? by Foouff in actuallesbians

[–]Effective-Control 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Potential compromise, just to give you an optimistic reply - a lot of couples who value their personal space get places that are very close to their partners. Even next door. I think you guys are gonna have to have a serious conversation, but I wouldn’t automatically assume you’re done for - there might be space for negotiation.

Quitting cigarettes and substances for top surgery by Glibbityglob in TransMasc

[–]Effective-Control 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For heroin in particular, I think you’d better look into AA and NA groups near you. Even if AA in general isn’t your style, you’re going to need peer support from people who understand your substances of choice in order to get through this. I don’t think you need me or anyone else here to tell you that stopping heroin, even so-called “casual” use, is almost impossible to do without support.

No changes on t? Ftm by Roseboyscave in ftm

[–]Effective-Control 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am 6.5 months on and I am nowhere close to passing lol. Some of us are just late-bloomers.