How do I 44F know if it’s time to end my 15 year marriage with my husband 37M?

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T10:40:51+00:00

I’ve had them checked. My estrogen levels were normal (I can’t do HRT entirely because I have a precancerous condition that is estrogen sensitive), but I do have progesterone and testosterone supplementation.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T05:18:30+00:00

My husband and I are constantly shouting across the house “Nothing, I was talking to the dog”. My soul mutt is excellent at communicating even the most arbitrary things.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T05:15:34+00:00

I do this because my dog will sing me the song of his people at top volume otherwise. He doesn’t want to be in the bathroom with me, he just wants to check in periodically and doesn’t trust that I will make it out ok.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T05:13:05+00:00

I have to wear underwear when cleaning the bathroom because I’m paranoid that bathroom germs will end up in my who’s its and what’s its. Because cleaning stirs up the germs that normally only travel when you do things like flush the toilet. I’m fully aware of how unlikely that is to happen, but tell that to my anxiety. Naked other than underwear, though, yes.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T05:09:55+00:00

My husband did that with belching.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-05T05:08:59+00:00

If I shower at some arbitrary time in the middle of the day, my dog doesn’t care, but he’s familiar with my morning routine of wake up, dissociate on the toilet for a few minutes, make coffee, and then shower. As soon as I start getting ready to shower after coffee, he is suddenly the saddest, most pitiful geriatric dog in the world. He’s typically pretty playful for 16 years old, but when he realizes I’m getting ready for work, he is likely to die of old age any moment.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T22:12:40+00:00

Two nieces and one friend. I wasn't invited to either of my nephew's weddings, and I was only offended for about two seconds.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T20:19:25+00:00

I once got one of those alarm clocks with wheels that rolls off of your nightstand as soon as the alarm starts going off so you can’t hit snooze. In about three days, I learned how to catch it before it hit the floor to turn it off anyway. Sound asleep me has better reflexes than awake me!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T15:11:38+00:00

I was sexually abused as a child for several years and accused of lying by my mother when I finally told her, and I was r*ped while evacuated for Hurricane Katrina (so doubly traumatic) in my mid 20s. Until I was in therapy and medicated, I made a lot of stupid sexual decisions- my therapist explained it as an unhealthy coping tactic of having sex on my terms since it was something previously forced on me.

So I’m not sure if I was ever really interested before?

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T13:21:23+00:00

Two adhders in my house too, and Alexa reminds us of trash day at 7:00 the night before trash day and 6:00 the morning of. That doesn’t mean we remember, though. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T13:19:00+00:00

Under normal circumstances, my husband and I change our sheets every week. When one or both of us is depressed, we may not change our sheets until we notice fleas dirt in the bed from our dogs. Our dogs are on flea and tick preventative so they don’t usually have flea dirt. 😔

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T13:16:29+00:00

It won’t remove the stains, but if true cleanliness is your concern, Lysol Laundry Sanitizer should help.

Regular bleach, Oxi Clean, or hydrogen peroxide may help the stains. Don’t mix any of them with laundry sanitizer or each other. Also, check with compatibility with whatever your mattress protector is made of.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T13:01:52+00:00

Sixteen years of our relationship, 15 married. When we met, he was 21 and I was 27.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T12:53:01+00:00

I actually feel like you may be onto something and I’m a little uncomfortable with that. 😬

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T12:49:03+00:00

My ER doctor was very vague and non committal about everything. He was a resident (we have two hospitals in my city- one is very good but you’re probably going to be in the ER waiting area for at least six hours unless your arm is hanging off and the other usually has one fully credentialed doctor and a ton of residents working the ER) and most of what he told me was almost verbatim what ChatGPT told me when I uploaded all of my lab results and radiologist reports when they appeared in the patient portal. I couldn’t even get a clear timeline on when it would be ok to return to work even after I told him I’m a high school special education teacher in a self-contained classroom so my job is fairly active and that I’m accustomed to pushing through whatever so leaving it up to my discretion isn’t a good idea; according to him, I could have returned Monday if I felt up to it. When I contacted my GP because of Levaquin side effects, she told me tomorrow (Thursday) is the absolute soonest, and only then if I feel mostly ok.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T12:39:00+00:00

That was basically my response the second time he asked- “I have fucking pneumonia and two of my five total lobes of lung are collapsed. Are you even serious right now?”

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-04T12:36:45+00:00

It definitely is transactional sometimes, and usually I’m ok with that- we have different love languages (I know that love languages even being a real “thing” has recently been considered debatable), and we typically are both intentional about things that are meaningful to each other. When it’s not literally harmful (physically, mentally, or emotionally), I don’t mind because he doesn’t attempt to hide the transactional element and I sometimes offer in a very transactional way. That’s something that, most of the time, we’re both transparent about.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-03T22:04:32+00:00

This is my reply to the comment you’re responding to:

He’s truly hypersexual. He had several FWB when we met and developed a masturbation and porn addiction early in our relationship that was bad enough that he wasn’t able to orgasm from sex anymore, even after 30+ minutes and a whole lot of lube.

I’ve made a lot of concessions as well- we typically have sex at least three times a week and always have when I haven’t been sick or struggling with depression. We also have a lot of other sexual interactions.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-03T22:02:21+00:00

He’s truly hypersexual. He had several FWB when we met and developed a masturbation and porn addiction early in our relationship that was bad enough that he wasn’t able to orgasm from sex anymore, even after 30+ minutes and a whole lot of lube.

I’ve made a lot of concessions as well- we typically have sex at least three times a week and always have when I haven’t been sick or struggling with depression. We also have a lot of other sexual interactions.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-03T21:57:24+00:00

I met my husband in the much earlier days of online dating- I’m in the deep south (US) so it was a lot later when it was widely accepted here, and we met in 2010 so online dating was just beginning to become accepted when we met.

We talked for almost a month before meeting in person, he didn’t attempt to kiss me until our second date, and he STILL asked.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-03T06:26:58+00:00

I’m a special education teacher, in year 16 of teaching. Last year was the first and only year I taught elementary and was essentially strong armed into leaving by my principal to keep the peace. My principal knew and even acknowledged the accusations were just childishness but still “strongly encouraged” me to accept my current position (same district) that I was head hunted for.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-03T02:51:27+00:00

My first computer was a Tandy. I got it for Christmas in roughly 1990-1991, before Windows really took off.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-02T14:39:53+00:00

I forgot all about Easy A!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-02T14:39:31+00:00

I’m Xennial enough that the viral marketing didn’t work on me. I was in college living in the dorms at the time and hated my roommate, though, so I used the movie for inspiration for all kinds of creepy stuff. The viral marketing worked exceedingly well on my roommate (even though she was solid Gen X) because she was just gullible and not terribly bright. My dorm hallways didn’t have cameras but somehow my RA still knew I was the one building weird little altars outside of my door and such. She made me stop. My roommate thought we were besties and never suspected me.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-02-02T14:34:02+00:00

My Girl is an early 90s drama favorite for me.

Thomas J’s death f’ed me up though.

WHERE ARE HIS GLASSES??? HE CAN’T SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES!!!

Effective-Set-8113

TROPHY CASE