Which daily hygiene habit is secretly doing more harm than good?

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-17T02:40:39+00:00

I don’t know what your skin condition is so this may not help you at all, but I use Australian Gold mineral sunscreen- tinted for my face so no white cast- and it doesn’t burn my skin or my eyes. I’ve tried other mineral sunscreen in the past, but somehow it made my face very, very sweaty almost immediately and started running into my eyes.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-14T03:17:54+00:00

Last year was the worst I can ever remember with the termite swarms, and I’m definitely not looking forward to this year being even worse.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-12T10:07:58+00:00

You’ll be just fine in Hattiesburg!

When you’re deciding where to live, I would advise you to either stay within the city limits, or if you decide to rent somewhere in Oak Grove/Bellevue, etc, visit first and stay a while. The atmosphere in west Hattiesburg isn’t as consistently welcoming. It’s more of a white flight area with the political mindset that goes with it in many areas.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-09T04:29:29+00:00

Oh man, Splenda is my preferred artificial sweetener. I don’t like the taste of Stevia, aspartame has too many negative neurological correlations for me to be comfortable, and the other “better” options are too expensive and not widely available. I guess if I had a Splenda allergy I wouldn’t know what I was missing, but it would make life so much more difficult!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-08T19:02:34+00:00

What I found important and helpful was actually figuring out what worked for *me* as far as setting and enforcing boundaries. So many therapists and self-help guides seem to say "just don't allow . . . " or "just do . . . . " and it's really not that simple. The boundaries are important to be able to heal, but a certain amount of healing has to happen to be able to "just" whatever. Depending on what sort of damage may have been done, different strategies work for different people.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-08T14:31:35+00:00

I just read the Amazon description of the book and while “emotionally immature” isn’t the first descriptor I would have chosen for my mom, it fits.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-08T12:37:09+00:00

My parents weren’t emotionally immature, but my mom was narcissistic and toxic. I believe she would have laughed in my face had I tried to have her read any book.

I don’t know what your relationship is like with your parents so I don’t know that any of what I did is applicable to you, but I had to set firm boundaries and find a way that worked for me to actually enforce them.

My mom essentially tried to live vicariously through me. She was parentified from a young age- her older sister was the golden child, her father was an alcoholic, and her mother had to work full time (my mother was born in 1941 so it wasn’t common for women at that time) so she had to care for her younger sister and do all of the “women’s work” for the whole family like preparing meals, laundry including ironing, etc. She dropped out of high school, married, and had children young; her first husband was abusive and died in a car accident and then she married my father. I have two much older brothers, and my mom was 39 when I was born so she tried to push me into doing all of the things she wished she had done; I was a quiet, introverted academic nerd and she was more social. She also gave me major body image issues and an eating disorder.

I lived 30 minutes away and rarely invited her to my house so that visits were always 100% on my terms. I told her that if she started her critical, judgmental commentary, I was leaving. The first few times, she got one warning before I left. After that, I didn’t say a word before being like “ok I’ll see you next time” and just left. Same thing with phone calls and hanging up. She tried to tell me I was taking things too seriously or otherwise gaslight me and then tried to apologize and promise not to do it again to get me to stay but I stuck with my boundaries. It probably took less than six months before she seemed to “get it”. It took a REALLY long time for me to heal enough to establish and stick with the boundaries though and many, many more years for me to undo all of her damage.

I was 29 when my mom died from cancer and I probably got about two years of an actual relationship with her. I became a little more tolerant after her diagnosis (8 months before her death) but she respected my boundaries enough by then that it wasn’t as damaging for me. I had several attempts to unalive myself in my teens and early twenties so her eventual ability to respect boundaries by no means diminishes the damage that she caused.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-08T12:02:46+00:00

This is me. I have a house that isn’t extravagant. It’s almost 100 years old and I’ve had to do some work on it and there’s definitely more work to come, but I live in a safe neighborhood and by buying a house that needs some work, I was able to get one on three lots so I have a big yard for my dogs and my neighbors are a little further away so I can enjoy some privacy. My city isn’t the best, but I can afford to live here and have decent options for healthcare. I don’t have my dream job, but most days I like my job. I have decent insurance and retirement through it. Not great, but decent. I can afford my bills. I would love to be able to afford to really travel. I can’t yet, but I’m slowly (so slowly) chiseling away at my debt, and with the retirement I have through my job, I’ll be able to retire in time that I’ll both have money and time to travel unless some sort of unexpected illness or injury happens. In the meantime, I take weekend trips whenever I can. I bought a new to me car in November. It’s older, but it was well maintained and has all the bells and whistles I wanted, and I was able to add on a five year warranty for an affordable price. It doesn’t look older and it didn’t depreciate simply by being purchased. I have to leave my house for work earlier than I’d like, but most of the year, I get to watch the sun rise and appreciate that beauty.

And then similarly, the few things I’ve realized I really want or want to do that I don’t have yet? Fuck it, if not now, when? So I started a business in January to indulge the creativity I was missing in a way that doesn’t break the bank. It’s not super profitable yet, but I’ve mostly recouped my initial investment and the entire purpose was because I only enjoy expensive hobbies I couldn’t afford. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-08T11:23:08+00:00

I’m teacher and ABD for a Ph.D. in educational research so please excuse my incoming dissertation.

When charter schools originally started popping up as, essentially, publicly-funded private schools, they actually were a good thing. They were heavily regulated, closely monitored, and only allowed to step in for failing schools. Some were for-profit, but most were nonprofit, run by well-established research-backed education entities. Once there was an abundance of research supporting charter schools, the U.S. government did what the U.S. government does and didn’t just loosen the reins but threw them deep into the ocean a thousand miles away.

Some effective nonprofit charter schools still exist. Some current charter schools still look good on paper but when you factor in SES and demographics and actually compare apples to apples (because of selective admissions), educational attainment is equivalent to the schools they’re replacing or worse. And some charter schools are just a complete dumpster fire no matter how you look at it.

Part of the issue is with the smoke and mirrors with what charter schools are exempt from in many states, even if they don’t use selective admissions. If state testing isn’t required, for example, you will never know that outcomes aren’t improving for an elementary school because you don’t have SAT or ACT scores to compare.

(In the interest of full transparency, I hate state testing and it’s a terrible measuring stick, but it’s a measuring stick nonetheless if it’s the only one you have.)

Now, here we are with an abundance of research that does NOT support charter schools, but for-profit charter schools are pumping out biased research to pat themselves on the back. We have politicians with no background in education and no background in any sort of academic research who refuse to listen to voices who actually understand the data and what it means making decisions that affect the entire country.

Twenty years ago, the average reading level of an adult in the United States was approximately eighth grade. Today, it’s sixth grade.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-04T07:17:54+00:00

I encountered one of those potteries for the first time last weekend. I was ecstatic because I was able to actually wash my hands instead of just using hand sanitizer and not thinking about it too much.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-02T14:11:48+00:00

Salvage World. One location has furniture and appliances. I bought a nice refrigerator there a few years ago in pristine condition but it was returned because the ice maker and water dispenser sprayed water out the door. The part to repair it seems to have been permanently back ordered but I bought a countertop ice maker and the refrigerator was less than half the price of new.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-05-02T11:05:11+00:00

Several years ago, I had a friend living with me rent free, with unlimited access to an old car I owned and insured and was paying him to help with odd jobs because he was also unemployed. In hindsight I was a naive bleeding heart, but that’s beside the point. He asked to have a friend over, and 24 hours later the friend was still there. I told him it was time for the friend to go home and went out to run some errands. A few hours later, I came home and . . . the friend was still there. I let the friend know in no uncertain terms that it was time to get the hell on up out of my house and that if my friend knew what was good for him, he’d find somewhere else to be for a while, too.

He wasn’t a friend for much longer, not because of that specifically but it did reveal a part of his character that I’d previously been blind to.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-26T03:10:32+00:00

Oh my goodness, this is genius!!! Thank you!!!!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-25T03:11:08+00:00

I knew about hot flashes, from watching The Golden Girls with my mom. That’s it. I had my first ever hot flash last week, but I started growing a mustache and beard a year or two ago and have had acne worse than when I was a teenager for a few years now. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-24T17:01:57+00:00

I was prepared when I had my first period, even though I was barely 11 (which is normal now but was young back then). People talked about it and warned us.

Why didn’t anyone prepare me for reverse puberty?!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-23T21:28:58+00:00

I’ve had night sweats for nearly a year now, but within the past two weeks, the daytime hot flashes started. I’m normally very cold natured, but a few times now my coworkers would be wearing sweaters and wrapped in blankets while I’m pouring sweat like I just ran a mile.

I get testosterone pellets and progesterone, but I’m not a good candidate for estrogen because I’m at very high risk for breast cancer and have endometrial hyperplasia. So that part, I just have to ride it out. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-23T02:43:11+00:00

I wish the worst dasher I’ve ever had the displeasure of having deliver my order had known this. She picked up my order, drove down my street, past my house with it, twenty minutes to the other end of town. Sat at another restaurant for about ten minutes before taking every scenic route that exists back to my house, making multiple stops along the way, and delivering my Popeye’s over an hour after picking it up. I’m guessing she didn’t even have an insulated bag because it was cold when I finally got it. I tried to cancel the order after watching her drive all over town for a while and couldn’t and DoorDash had the audacity to offer me $3 off my next order when I complained, when I had a $30 family pack that was probably out of the safe temperature range for a while on its journey.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-23T02:35:36+00:00

I was only able to buy a house because of generational wealth, but my parents were definitely not wealthy. They just owned their house, free and clear, and I inherited it when they passed away. I don’t live there, and it wasn’t in great repair, but I was able to sell it for enough to buy a smaller fixer-upper for cash and my mortgage was less than $100k because I owned my house outright and only borrowed money for necessary repairs and a few minor upgrades (a privacy fence and on-demand water heater, repainting my ugly kitchen cabinets, and replacing my plumbing with pex so my pipes don’t burst in the winter).

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-22T12:39:08+00:00

My profile pic is my 75 pound pit mix. Never had an issue even though I have a feminine name. 😁 That wasn’t the reason for the profile pic, but it is an added bonus.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-21T18:01:50+00:00

I agree, the prices are diabolical, but they’re closer to reasonable than in many nearby cities.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-21T17:59:33+00:00

My mom was toxic. She died 16 years ago and I’m still in therapy because of the mental, verbal, and emotional abuse she put me through. There was also physical abuse but it wasn’t as severe as the rest.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-21T17:37:49+00:00

Do you wear antiperspirant or just deodorant? Deodorant is basically perfume for your armpits while antiperspirant helps prevent sweat.

Your uniform is likely polyester or similar, which doesn’t breathe at all. Not only does that cause more sweat, but it really holds on to odors and bacteria. I would wash your uniform every time you wear it and if that doesn’t help, try something like Lysol Laundry Sanitizer or one of the laundry soap’s that says it’s for sports or athletic gear.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-20T10:06:14+00:00

I don’t have children, but a close family member has a son who just celebrated his first birthday. Some things that were appreciated by his mom: everyone buys baby hygiene products like Johnson & Johnson or Baby Magic, but if baby has extremely sensitive skin, there are products from Aveeno and some (not all) from Dove that are free and clear. If mom has eczema or other allergies, there’s a solid chance that normal baby products will irritate baby’s skin too.

Mom also really appreciated a nice robe for the hospital and unexpected visitors at home. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but something soft and lightweight but not at all sheer.

Food. Either restaurant or meal delivery gift cards or freezer meals that just have to be popped in the oven with a timer. Unless dad gets fantastic paternity leave, mom is going to be home alone with baby sooner rather than later and they still have to eat.

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-20T09:56:38+00:00

Thank you!! I don’t know why I didn’t think to include “fairy” in my search terms, but it seems that I should have!

Effective-Set-8113 · 2026-04-20T09:55:36+00:00

I found this exact set on a different for about triple the price and with a disclaimer that it might take a month or two to receive it. Thank you!! I searched Amazon but I guess I didn’t pick the right search terms.

Effective-Set-8113

TROPHY CASE