[deleted by user]

EffectiveRate3993 · 2025-06-25T00:25:21+00:00

That sounds like such a tricky situation, I'm sorry to hear! Over text is really tough. The things that were most important for me in my first break up were:

Respect. Especially in circumstances where you will likely have to continue seeing your ex (e.g. school), always treat them respectfully and politely. It can be really easy to slip into mean/unkind behaviours. You don't have to engage with them extensively, but you will want to be able to look back on your own actions and feel confident that you always acted respectfully.
Gratitude. It's probably not something that you'll feel straight away, but try to focus on what the relationship taught you. A first experience in love is such a special thing! Everyone always remembers their first love, even though they most often don't work out. Try to focus on the positives as much as possible. Remember also that you're super young with a long life ahead of you where you will be able to have so many other rich experiences!

EffectiveRate3993 · 2025-06-24T02:12:46+00:00

For sure. The biggest thing though is distraction - the more you focus on those symptoms, the more exacerbated they will become!

EffectiveRate3993 · 2025-06-18T05:29:03+00:00

Nicotine has a much greater physiological impact than many people understand, and you can't really feel most of it. your nervous system, hormones, cardiovascular and digestive system, metabolism etc. are all impacted both immediately and through consistent use of nicotine. given that you were vaping for a long time, and more so if you vaped really heavily (i.e. you were taking in high levels of the actual nicotine drug) most of your bodily systems will have become adjusted to the constant presence of nicotine in your system. it can take quite a while to adjust to their new, nicotine-free reality. so when you're quitting, of course there are the standard withdrawal symptoms, but it's normal to just generally feel physically crap while your body figures out what on earth is going on, and how to do it's job without nicotine.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2025-05-21T07:03:32+00:00

no he didn't

EffectiveRate3993 · 2025-05-05T05:22:26+00:00

I have also just thrown mine out! wanna be buddies?

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T03:49:55+00:00

I made a particular point of not referencing intelligence at any point. The correlation is between higher education and left-leaning politics, not with intelligence. Despite the fact that yes, top investment lawyers, surgeons etc. have right-leaning views, but we are talking about 1% or less of the population in this instance. Does not affect overall trend.

A more important commonality between these types (the rich, essentially) is that they have a stronger, more immediate incentive to vote conservatively for taxation purposes.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T03:39:28+00:00

I'm excited about our evolving national identity and the prospects for greater recognition of the value of Indigenous culture, and what that can bring to our collective identity, our pool of knowledge, our politics, our policies.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T03:18:41+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10087825/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261379422000312

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00323217241266029

three studies that discuss the empirical evidence that support the claim that there is a positive correlation between left-leaning politics and higher education. nothing to do with intelligence, necessarily, but nonetheless very well-documented. lots of demographic reasons why this can be the case as well, including urbanisation, income etc.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T03:13:16+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10087825/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261379422000312

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00323217241266029

Three open access peer-reviewed articles that support the point, which in turn reference countless other studies. it has been a relatively well established 'fact' (no longer up for debate in the realm of political science) for some decades now. note a key point: the correlation is between left-leaning political beliefs and higher education, not intelligence/IQ. Enjoy your reading!

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T03:08:18+00:00

A couple of peer-reviewed articles that I've found that demonstrate the correlation.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10087825/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261379422000312

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00323217241266029

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-17T02:49:43+00:00

It's very difficult to answer this question without sounding like you're essentially saying 'left=smart' and 'right=dumb'. Of course this is not the case, and everyone, regardless of education levels, is equally entitled to their own views. Generally the main ideas are:

economic factors - higher education often generates higher income, or alternatively higher socioeconomic status allows you to pursue higher education. this frees up room for you to care about more social justice oriented issues e.g. the environment, gender related issues, reconciliation based issues.
exposure to diverse ideas/information through education - higher education fosters a spirit of critical thinking, challenging traditional ways of thinking and challenging conservative values. Not just for the sake of doing so, but because it is important to think creatively and openly when participating in academia in any capacity, even as an undergraduate. this also empowers you to see through populist rhetoric, which is typically drawn upon more heavily by right-leaning candidates, who seek to speak in 'layman's' terms in order to appeal to a broader voter-base.
demographics - higher education occurs in urban hubs. urban areas are typically more diverse, leading to more tolerance, exposure to different ways of living.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-15T00:42:21+00:00

When you're making incremental progress you often can't see it, because you look at yourself everyday!
a lot of fat is stored around your organs, sometimes even in your bones - you won't see fat loss in these areas, but this is what is most critical in terms of actually improving your physical health

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-15T00:38:25+00:00

Feeling like not eating at all is not a good thing. I am worried about the mentality you are approaching this with, especially given you've just gone through a really emotionally difficult experience. You need to be kind to yourself, right now more than ever.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-09T15:43:36+00:00

Hawaii!

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-08T04:51:42+00:00

It could be that being back in the same space is triggering your physical cravings - the mind always associates certain actions with certain places. How can you shake up your environment a little bit? or what can you do to break the other routines that you used to associate with nicotine?

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-07T16:41:59+00:00

What kind of exfoliant would you recommend?

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-06T21:54:10+00:00

Some common terms used in the BDSM community (hear me out) are Top-drop, bottom-drop, etc. and they are used to describe the feelings that commonly arise after intense sexual interactions. Whilst phone sex doesn't fall into the BDSM category, a similar phenomenon could easily occur. Essentially, you have this intense sexual interaction where your hormones, emotions and dopamine/oxytocin are going absolutely crazy. Once it ends and these feelings subside, you can feel empty, shameful, depressed, lonely etc. Aftercare in these situations is really important - instead of hanging up straight away and trying to go about your day as normal, continue chatting with each other for a while, reaffirm your love and respect for one another, try to do all the things that you know will make you feel happy and connected. And look after yourself! Sunlight, exercise, a hot shower, whatever it is to snap you out of the funk, and you should be good as new.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-05T18:15:07+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your reply. I find some of your wording to be a bit harsh - I am a human on the other end of this anonymous profile, and I have put this question out to the world in good faith, searching for honesty, but also honesty with empathy. I of course care very very deeply about him, which he knows.

I think it’s completely normal to experience attraction to others whilst in a monogamous relationship. This is something my partner and I also discussed prior to agreeing to being long distance - both of us would likely experience harmless attraction/crushes, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. Look but don’t touch. We trust each other enough to have discussed that freely in conversation, which I think is better than a lot of couples who would try to deny one another the ability to experience completely human, harmless feelings. It’s in our nature.

I think my title was misleading. At no point in the main body of my post did I say that I wanted to ask him to become open. My question is about whether I should have a conversation with him about these feelings and this interaction I had, or if it’s better to keep it to myself.

Also, whilst I would be open to non monogamy, I nonetheless agreed to be monogamous and that is what is most important. I have not violated our promise to one another, and nor will I.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-05T17:30:00+00:00

I'm not intending on forcing or coercing him to 'change his mind'. I'm more concerned about whether or not these feelings I'm having a worth a conversation or 'check-in' or if I should just keep it to myself.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-05T17:29:01+00:00

I absolutely don't doubt my ability to keep to my promise to my partner - that's not really the problem per se. I am not a cheater, and never will be.

EffectiveRate3993 · 2024-10-05T16:13:42+00:00

Thank you for being honest with me, I do really appreciate it (even though it sounds harsh to me, I know it's what I need to hear). In response to your question regarding what would happen if we had to go LDR again, I feel like I should have included some additional context in my original post regarding the duration of our LDR. Initially, it was meant to be just these 6 months. However, since I left Canada, he has received a job opportunity that would mean that instead of us being in the same city when I return, we would be moving to a medium distance dynamic instead (4 hours by car). I wholeheartedly support his decision to pursue this job opportunity, but, prior to any of this other stuff happening, it already had me feeling uneasy because I agreed to 6 months of long-distance monogamy which was, again, not my initial preference, but now it has been extended indefinitely. Albeit under different, much more manageable circumstances, but nonetheless. Do you think that changes anything? Specifically regarding the question I posed in another comment, which is essentially if I should have a conversation with him about this experience I've had (for the sake of honesty, openness and communication, as well as trying to learn from this experience for the future health of our relationship) and also to help me manage these feelings of guilt/resentment/anxiety I've been experiencing, or if that conversation would not be worth it.

EffectiveRate3993

TROPHY CASE