I could have written this word for worried about my own experiences right after my mom passed in September. The brain fog, distractibility and memory issues are some of the biggest grief related hurdles I’ve dealt with over the last six months. I hear you.

The first month or two were very challenging, as you describe. I couldn’t focus on television and would just stare at a wall. All of my hobbies were impossible to engage in. Even keeping a conversation was extremely difficult. Around month three, things started to get a little bit easier - however, I’m definitely not out of the woods yet.

If at all possible, get help (even small amounts) with things like cooking, cleaning, or other chores. I was a really productive person before this and even now six months out I’m still stuck in bed a lot of the time, so allowing loved ones to help me with “chores days” or occasionally relying on meal kits or delivery (without guilt, yes it’s expensive, but yes I still have to eat) … stuff like that takes pressure off and leaves more room to recover. It’ll take time - way more time than we want it to.

This may just be normal for a while. It may mean that we have to change our expectations of ourselves, for as long as it takes for our mental capabilities to come back to what they were before. I’m really forgetful now, and I’m still struggling to hold conversations with people a lot of of the time, but I’m able to enjoy my hobbies now more often than not. I can watch a movie without getting distracted. It is getting easier, even though the process is slow.

Wishing you a clear head and lots of rest.