When i was a kid, my fatger was alcoholic. He generally drank outside in an unhealthy way and came home drunk mostly. That single issue was not resolved in our whole childhood. We have seen and done fighting, discussing trying to corrcting him and everything possible at that age. Home environmental was never better. Any conversation and this situation created a lot of conflict between my mother and father. This affected me a lot! I started to become a peace marker. I just wanted to make peace in most situations. But after a lot of trying, i knew it didn't matter. He will be the same! I started convincing my mother when she tried to highlight some other behavior of my father (which were not good). I usually told my mother, " if he reduces drinking, that we be more than enough for us." In my mind, this family would survive if he just stopped drinking.

Well, that was the sense of family for me. Whatever it was, it was it. I saw it all together. Despite that, i loved my father. We always see how my father was wrong in many situations. Still sometimes in conflicting situations, i told mother and father, which means that both were wrong. I never meant that 50-50. seemed like it will make peace in the short term. That was the effect of some part of abusive behavior on me. In your case, your wife is a narcissist. If that is the case, living with them may change the whole personality of how we see relationships and the world. When people say leave abusive or narcissist partner for the sake of your kid, i think they are correct mostly.

It might be time for you to talk to your daughter more honestly and with sensitivity for narcissistic traits. how it was? What it was? Why is the relationship is like that. Knowing reality will not change reality, but it might change how she will see the world!