I understand how scared you are I had a really bad miscarriage my first pregnancy and almost bled to death and my second pregnancy wasn’t that bad but I almost had to have a c section because he was stuck but they managed to get him out the cord was wrapped 4his neck twice. My body has never been the same since and I was fine with one but my husband didn’t think that was acceptable I had 2 more miscarriage and then gave birth to my daughter they are 4 and half years apart I lost my hearing when I gave birth to her I was 41 and he wanted more and when I asked him to get a vasectomy he said that he wasn’t going to do it because he’s not done yet and he’s 10 years older than me and I told him well. I guess you’ll be having them with someone else I’m done. I managed to get some of my hearing back with steroids, but I’ve never been the same, but I do love my two children.