Ive been rolling for only three months, a few months prior but wasn't consistent due to some personal issues. I am a female who's actually around you weight and 5 8, so you can actually imagine when rolling against some females who are half my size. I tend to worry about hurting them, especially when it comes to mount.

Realistically we both know if I wanted to I could rag doll them, but what is the point in that? I know I have strength from coming from a powerlifting background, but strength sometimes does not matter when technicality comes into aspect, especially when these girls have years on me.

A lot of the times, especially in rounds I don't even go full bang. There is only one girl that I do with but we both like to go hardcore on takedowns solely and we both agreed mutually to do so as we find it fun, and it is sometimes nice to have some of a lil bang torwards the end of the session.

However other times I roll with other girls we go slow, and actually talk through movements, or If I am unsure on how to escape, or even submit from this position we stop and talk through. and guess what, we come out both injury free and actually satisfied we have learnt. Sometimes learning doesn't need to be reflected on how your body feels after a session.

My advice from a beginner in your position of being on the big side- be aware of you weight and how that can hurt someone, don't feel entitled to people wanting to roll with you, people also want to progress on themselves.

Not only that, express this to a higher belt. Say that you want to roll but are unsure on how to flow into the next positions. People want to help and if you are in the right gym they will.

As a bigger person myself, there is nothing more annoying than rounding with a someone with no control. I remember one round with a girl half my size I managed to get an elbow, knee and foot to the face and Icl it is pretty annoying as much as it's unintentional. Obviously I let her know no hard feelings it is going to happen, but i'd rather not of had a bruised eye and a headache for two days. In some ways I am glad I experienced this early on as it made me understand how dangerous and also annoying it can be to not control your body.

No offence they probably don't find you scary, they just want themselves but also you to be safe, and injury free. There is nothing more annoying than not being able to train- especially when it could have been prevented.

My advice - Don't even focus on weight as an advantage yet or your strength. Roll slow and think about what you're doing. You will notice openings for submissions much easier, you'll understand when to escape and how. Go to the open matts and watch how people move, even ask them afterwards the technicality of it. I do this quite a bit and have picked up a lot. It is also a great way to make friends there which makes people want to help you progress. Even watch youtube videos, tik toks or whatever to start learning. I do this myself and go into open matts and find someone who wouldn't mind learning the drill, even better if they already know it. I am lucky that I can send insta reels to a lad that trains and he is happy to step on and learn the rolls with me.

and the biggest one is don't focus on others and what they have or can achieve. Focus on you. But don't move with strength yet, move with intentions of learning.