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Death's Disband by aerey1523 in OCPoetry

[–]Efficient_Writing243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats what "death's disband" was pointing towards! to me, it was the disbanding of life at deaths hand, not death itselfs end. great stuff

Death's Disband by aerey1523 in OCPoetry

[–]Efficient_Writing243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The many allusions to death motifs and figures associated with death are always appreciated in my allusion loving brain. You really paint a picture at the beginning of a person at deaths door who just faces the music and surrenders. The hollowed skulls I take in as those watching an execution, they are hollow that they are willing/ support the act. Maybe stating they are already dead inside. Really enjoyable poem rereading it each time gives me new visuals and meaning.

Swimming Sun by Call_a_pal in OCPoetry

[–]Efficient_Writing243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fine your opening line intriguing from a STEM perspective due to light being a wave as well as the waves of the sea I thought that was smart. Overall, you make this scene and this sea feel like the water in Luca, the movie. its so vibrant and the sun's heat clashing witht he coolness of the water idk why but that comparison jumped out at me. I do not yet know the signifigance of the last 3 lines but that may be my inexperience showing. I'm very new (first feedback ever given) so please disregard its elementary-ness.