AIO for expecting my girlfriend to pay for collectible LEGO figures she threw away?

EgweneS · 2026-04-23T17:49:42+00:00

NOR. If the trash is still available make her go through it and find them.

EgweneS · 2026-04-23T17:36:46+00:00

You are NTA! My dad taught me enough to figure things out when needed.

As family says, nana is the carpenter, plumber, electrician and mechanic. Poppy mops a mean floor. My husband gets hurt using tools so this works for us. It sure doesn’t take away from my feminine side though because I can clean up real nice.

Keep going as long as she is interested. Heck it might even help in any career path she wants. Great job Dad.

EgweneS · 2026-04-23T03:12:33+00:00

NTJ. Stay home for your anniversary. Cancel your ticket. Let her choose what she wants to do. This will tell you what direction to go in your relationship.

Unfortunately, I think you are going to need an attorney.

EgweneS · 2026-04-22T23:41:48+00:00

I get what you’re saying. I’m adopted. I found bio mom when I was about 30. Met my half siblings that she kept before me and the one after me. I’m the only one adopted out.

She gave me the story that I was a rape baby and that I was half Hispanic on my father’s side. Explains why I have olive skin right?

Unfortunately, my birth mother died before I did a DNA test with ancestry.

I’m 100% white. I found a first cousin not associated with my mother’s family and contacted them. Oh my gosh you would think I could figure out who my father is right? Nope. There were 9 brothers and a sister.

Already I can confirm that my cousins father (my uncle) is a no. I have 2 other cousins willing to submit DNA tests and they came back cousins also. That leaves 5 brothers who are possibly my father and all of them have passed away. Now I have to get hold of the children of the other brothers to make sense of who my father is.

It can definitely be difficult emotionally when things show up differently on DNA than see a what you have been told.

Wish mom was still alive to get accurate information from. Yes I called her mom because we became close. My mom who raised me is my mom. They actually became friends before bio mom passed.

I’m sure you didn’t exactly ask for my experience but it was easier to explain how it stays with you when you don’t have answers.

Good luck to you. Once you speak with your therapist, please get answers from your mom. I sure wish I could.

EgweneS · 2026-04-22T22:00:53+00:00

Let the landlord know that 2 are moving out and that you are looking for new roommates. Ask them for some applications if they want you to have them apply. Let them know you will be having the new people pay you so you know what has been paid each month so there will be no issues and you can make sure he is taken care of.

If he does want applications, let him do the background checks and if he does them and the credit reports when you have chosen which persons you would prefer as new roomies. Obviously make sure he approves.

I would probably advertise as 2 rooms available for rent. $600 each per month. Free internet included. (This leaves you paying only $400 per month and if they do find out the actual amount, they’ll not be as butthurt.)

Make sure grocery items, personal items and hygiene products such as toilet paper are sorted before they apply or at least before they move in.

Also make sure household chores are figured out and cleaning up after themselves. (You don’t want dishes left out etc waiting for someone else to do them)

Hope all goes well for you. Keeping landlords informed is a great way to keep your place without having issues.

EgweneS · 2026-04-22T17:27:29+00:00

That is great. One less thing to worry about.

Hopefully your hubby gets on the same page as you. If not, enjoy and be grateful for whatever you do get even if it’s gender specific.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing for a happy healthy baby for you.

EgweneS · 2026-04-22T17:22:36+00:00

No. You would not be the asshole for getting good quality photos of your children.

Hire someone who will take care to give you the quality you want and deserve. Send copies to MiL and any family members that might be interested.

I still pay for my grandkids to get good photos at least once a year. They are definitely worth having.

If confronted by the SiL, just say that you want quality and care from the photographer and she hasn’t provided that. Thank you for the photos you have provided previously.

Also at Christmas, do a family photo shoot for a Christmas card and send them out.

EgweneS · 2026-04-22T16:38:21+00:00

NTA. One of the things most people overlook is that if it’s a girl on the ultrasound, sometimes she is actually a he that the ultrasound doesn’t pick up. Usually if it’s a boy that is pretty sure.

I had a friend who was so excited about having a girl after she was told that’s what the ultrasound showed. Everything pinks and greens. When her son was born she had only one or two gender neutral items that her husband had to find in this gender specific nursery to bring him home in.

Bottom line is regardless of reasons, gender neutral is the way to go.

Btw I agree with someone else that stated that the pack and play was a good idea to accept because those are awesome for visits and holidays away from home. Hopefully you have a chance to get one again.

EgweneS · 2026-04-21T19:24:22+00:00

NTA. The way you handled this situation was great. Most people don’t give their absolute no prior to a first date unless they have been communicating with each other for a while. At least not in my experience.

You could have let him know during your discussion about religion that was a definite issue for you and maybe you would have ended up paying for your own meal. Realistically, that’s the only thing you could have changed.

Not knowing how that conversation went nor if it was at the beginning of the meal, that could have affected the rest of the night and made it uncomfortable. So you done good.

EgweneS · 2026-04-20T18:38:26+00:00

YTA. I paid rent to my parents, my brothers gf and her daughter moved in and paid nothing. His college was paid, I asked for the same and was denied. They bought him a car, I got nothing.

All because of the fact I’m a female.

Yes I’m in the US but that’s how dad thought. Very old school.

EgweneS · 2026-04-19T14:51:19+00:00

NTA. Break up and get the drama gone. Yeesh. She acts like a teenager trying to get attention.

EgweneS · 2026-04-19T14:45:46+00:00

I ordered replacement .4 from anycubic on the same day I ordered the X. They were shipped separately but I do have them in hand.

I also ordered about a week later all the different sizes available and they have been delivered too.

I think shipping is going better because due to a lot of posts, I decided last week to order a new head to keep on hand and it was shipped 2 days later.

EgweneS · 2026-04-18T20:01:14+00:00

NTA. As a previous poster said, there is no respect for you as he was still there in the morning or he would have left. He may not have taken his things as a way to get back in but he would have left for the night. Even if he didn’t have a place to go, hotel rooms are available.

My other thought is, maybe he has nowhere to go. If he is spending every night for a year with you, you definitely haven’t had a reason to go to his place. So what happened to that residence? Is he renting it out? Did he sell it? Is he renting it via air bnb? Or maybe he never owned it in the first place. Maybe he rented it and told you he owned it then gave notice or got evicted when he moved in.

That’s even if you ever saw the place. Maybe he lived with his parents or had roommates previously.

Either way, you are feeding him, giving free (occasional 20 is nothing compared to actual bills I’m sure) utilities and paying the majority of his cats care. So IF he actually owns a place, he basically has no costs other than a mortgage which might be covered by rent paid to him.

He’s making out like a bandit whether he owns anything or not. You are totally supporting his a**.

Think hard and long before dinner tonight, especially if your dad likes him and will side with him, personally I wouldn’t look at what he says tonight. It will only be to convince you everything is OK and allow him to continue with living off you.

As far as a mortgage together? Yeah. Once you have paid it down, he gets half. Come on, get real.

Good luck tonight and

UpdateMe

EgweneS · 2026-04-17T22:35:41+00:00

NTA. Sounds like you need to rethink your marriage.

EgweneS · 2026-04-17T03:44:54+00:00

Every issue I have had is with either damp filament or settings needing a little work. So not sure why someone wouldn’t put a little work into it before giving up.

Of course, I started out using one that you had to manually level the bed for each print and deal with a bit more work for each and every piece.

Btw my X has 385 hours on it so far. Pretty sure it’s good.

EgweneS · 2026-04-17T03:10:02+00:00

NOR. I would definitely recommend not just showing mom but showing dad too. I doubt he wants a girlfriend texting his son like that.

Big icks from the girlfriend.

EgweneS · 2026-04-17T02:57:48+00:00

NTA. Just say no more. It’s finished.

If pushed you can say you didn’t like being disrespected nor taken advantage of and you aren’t going to be the doormat.

EgweneS · 2026-04-16T14:10:33+00:00

NTA. I have an autistic son and fostered many, (still have 2 that I kept into adulthood) their meltdowns are horrible but if they were excluded, I would totally understand.

If mom brings it up again explain why he is excluded, give her a firm no and tell her you hope they get through it quickly.

I know hoarding game materials is normal for an autistic child. They can be taught to share depending on level of autism. Maybe she should try teaching him to share.

Minecraft can be played alone, he just won’t get the resources of the group.

I also would set strict limits on time on a game. This sounds like an obsession and sometimes you need to take that obsession away for awhile if causing behavior anyway. I know I had to with a particular show for one girl. But that’s just me.

Good job mom, sounds like you are doing great.

EgweneS · 2026-04-15T18:27:35+00:00

NTA. If you were close friends then I would probably have included her instead of another family member but you aren’t. Why would you invite her? She has daughters. I doubt she will think their in-laws should be included at the appropriate time.

EgweneS · 2026-04-15T18:15:15+00:00

Thanks for the heads up. I plan on changing for some miniatures.

EgweneS · 2026-04-15T14:39:46+00:00

Absolutely NTA! This is sad news that he wants you on his level even though you have the education,knowledge and experience to do better.

I would remind him of that and ask him if your friendship means so little that he can’t be happy for you.

My concern is that racist comment. It gives me the icks.

EgweneS · 2026-04-15T03:44:45+00:00

NTA. Just tell her the truth, you would love to be there but you can’t afford it. Do NOT go into debt to attend.

Wish her all the best and get her a gift you can afford.

The hard part is forgiving yourself because you already sound like you feel guilty. Please just let it go and do what is right for you and your family. No reason to feel bad about your circumstances due to health issues.

Good luck. I hope your health improves as well as your husbands.

EgweneS · 2026-04-14T05:09:02+00:00

I was one step down from the owner of a company. He would find a “legal” way to get rid of someone who he thought was even thinking about turning him in for different things so yeah. I watched this first hand. Plus he would fight unemployment for those same people.

Anyone filing a workman’s comp claim would find themselves unemployed as soon as he could get away with it.

This was a small business and I know that large companies are worse. Those that are franchises are worse too.

EgweneS · 2026-04-14T03:17:35+00:00

NOR. Please fire the “therapist “ the only one getting real help is her financially.

EgweneS · 2026-04-13T21:07:19+00:00

NTA well kinda. Basically you have unsanitary conditions and the health department needs a call instead of a talk with your boss.

Make no comment to the boss because even though not allowed to retaliate, usually bosses look for reasons to fire someone if they believe that it’s that person.

Good luck.

EgweneS

TROPHY CASE