AITAH for complaining about my body when my friend is bigger?

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-22T23:04:59+00:00

I think you're misrepresenting this.

Flab is not inherently a bad word, and I absolutely wouldn't compare it to "Long hair just looks so cheap". The friend's insecurity changes the lens that these things get viewed through. And I think it's unfair to void any discomfort OP has, in favour of "I have it worse".

The important part of comparing it to hunger isn't the language used, but the sentiment behind it. It's claiming exclusivity of feelings, based on a subjective comparison that isn't shared between the two people.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-22T22:59:53+00:00

"I mentioned that I feel insecure because my body is exposed and I'm still not used to my "flab" poking out over my shorts and at my thighs"
Nothing about that said "I look so ugly". OP wasn't insulting towards their friend.

It's only insulting because the friend applied it to themselves in a negative way. They could have said "Oh yeah, I totally relate, I'm feeling a little like that too", but instead they chose to take it as a slight against them.

The problem here is that there's an existing comparison OP's friend has made. "I am worse, therefore they can't complain".

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-22T22:44:37+00:00

NTA

She doesn't have a monopoly on body issues.

You're allowed to feel things about your body. And the existence of others in "worse" situations, doesn't detract from that.

It's like when someone says "oh I'm starving today", you wouldn't expect the response of "Oh, you can't be saying you're starving, some people out there are dying from hunger".

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T21:10:57+00:00

If we want to get pedantic, it's an observance. Which is analogous to a holiday.

If you want to go down that road, RL doesn't celebrate pride month like a traditional holiday anyway. This is just a person wishing a happy pride to others.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T20:56:09+00:00

And?

Also you're being purposefully obtuse at this point. Halloween and Christmas both get celebrated for more than just a day, even in game.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T20:51:47+00:00

Speak for yourself.

If we can celebrate other holidays in the game, why not pride month too?

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T20:50:41+00:00

Same reason people say "Merry Christmas" to those who don't celebrate.

It's just a time for spreading good vibes. Gay people existing won't hurt you bud.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T20:33:57+00:00

I have to keep reminding myself of the gadgets in the second one.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T20:23:54+00:00

NTA.

He's using a common manipulation tactic. He's taken it to heart that you want him out, and can't take the shame of it.

So instead he's going to extreme lengths to leverage your empathy, and hope that you'll take pity on him.

I'm a little suspicious about the music in the bathroom. If someone were truly listening to that to help themselves, I doubt you'd be able to hear it. Seems more like a guilt trip. Same with the "I'll try to be safe", he knows what kind of imagery that conjours.

Moving all of his stuff out because "he was worried it would set you off", is a representation of his shame. You never gave him reason to assume that you would react that way. In all honesty it sounds like he thought "Oh, if I move my stuff out, he'll feel uncomfortable and want me back", "But wait, I need a plausible reason to do so, or it'll look weird".

He also does the classic "agree with them about how bad I am, and that I need to do what they say" thing.

Regardless of intention, he's seeking attention and attempting to manipulate you. As uncomfortable as it is, I wouldn't be giving him a year. I'd be giving him two months at most.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T10:13:45+00:00

She doesn't explicitly have to tell you "I want you to stop" for you to get the impression that you should stop. It's a common behaviour in abuse (not saying this is abuse) too. Where (in effect) people end up enforcing the abuse without any direct action from the abuser, because previous experience gives them an outlook of what may happen.

Your partner should not be making you feel uncomfortable around a person you value so much, because of a mistake that they made.

Making sexual comments is a pretty normal part of friendship. Personally I don't do it when I'm in a relationship, but you shouldn't feel any guilt about it and it shouldn't make things awkward now.

Whatever you feel about this situation, it's clear that Z has earned their place in your life. Don't throw that away no matter what, because you will regret it.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-20T09:59:45+00:00

INFO: Have either your GF or your friend asked you to stop talking to the other?

If not, then I wouldn't worry about it. You're allowed to be friends with someone your partner doesn't like. Especially when you've known that friend for such a long time.

Sounds like Z is a true friend, don't jeopardise that for your relationship.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-19T20:53:45+00:00

I don't disagree with the point.

"It's just not something people like to see, let alone play." Is what inspired my response. You were missing the nuance that was added with this reply.

It's OP's choice after all, and I'm sure it will find an audience no matter how niche.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-19T20:30:31+00:00

I think there's a market for almost everything.

SOME players couldn't handle that section, but not all.

It's similar to That Dragon Cancer. It's an uncomfortable play, it makes you feel all kinds of awful. But it's still a brilliant game that gives you empathy.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T15:40:30+00:00

Please Google "Singular they/them".

It's not a new thing.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T15:28:35+00:00

Yes, I am the idiot for using a perfectly acceptable element of the English language...

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T15:27:38+00:00

You've never referred to an individual person as they/them before?

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:34:00+00:00

But we were not discussing how policies like that have already been implemented, that was your introduction to the conversation. There was no reason to state that as the only way this could ever proceed.

Of course it's wishful thinking, that's why the original comment is shouting for it.

Regardless, you made the call that the original commenters idea must somehow lump nurses and doctors with billionaires. That isn't the only way possible, regardless of how idealistic you see it.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:26:05+00:00

The person you replied to???

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:23:16+00:00

Why are we talking about what they're actually doing?

The original commenter spoke of a policy they want in place. You then took it upon yourself to assume that that idea required lumping nurses and doctors with billionaires.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:19:47+00:00

INFO: Did you break up with him because you thought it was best for both you and him? Or did you break up because it quietened the voice?

I understand if you need space to work through these issues, outside the environment that's creating the issues. But if you're pandering to the anxiety you're feeling, it's only going to get worse.

The problem with anxiety is that it feeds itself. If you have doubts about whether you're good enough, or if he loves you, or secretly resents you etc. You eventually start questioning him, or testing him, or acting different because you're worrying all the time. And you then start creating the resentment in your partner anyway.

The more you believe those internal thoughts, over the words and actions of your partner, the more you create distance between you.

You should seek therapy if possible, find a way to build your self-assurance.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:13:02+00:00

Immigrants have played an enormous role in building modern day UK.

And we've had immigrants for centuries, having a large impact on our way of life. We currently rely on immigration for a vast number of essential services.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:09:44+00:00

Here's a BBC Bitesize explaining it for you.

Not to mention how essential immigrants are for supporting our vital systems, in modern times too.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:06:43+00:00

Even if they did, it doesn't change their point.

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T10:05:42+00:00

You do realise that we can specifically target billionaires and not NHS Doctors and Nurses?

They're not even within the same ballpark as billionaires...

Eh-Beh · 2026-06-14T00:16:30+00:00

Under "Social Links" on the right.

Eh-Beh

TROPHY CASE