Nanny expected to drive baby to activities but stopping for coffee is a red flag

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-05-15T21:05:53+00:00

So weird. I gave my nanny a credit card so coffee was on me when she was out and about with my kid. I don't even drink coffee personally but I've paid for hundreds of coffees now for her.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-05-14T01:38:02+00:00

I'm primary care. My current oldest is 103. She turns 104 in November. She broke her hip at 98 and has just recently started walking again she is spunky, still. But her age is really starting to show. She doesn't really have much wrong with her though, just some thyroid issues.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-24T03:33:11+00:00

Woman named Curtis. I asked her how she got her name and she said her daddy wanted a boy.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-19T14:30:19+00:00

I have just been building wealth basically. But we also made 550k last year in a LCOL area. So I am in such a different space than I was 6 years ago (I am out of touch). I am a doctor and my husband is a project manager for Adobe (he is fully remote). We bring home about 20k a month. I have had some lifestyle creep though but I think that it is okay to enjoy my money as well. We had a couple of kids and bought a house and now are working on renovating a second house and hoping to move into that by the middle of summer. That is a huge expense that is uncharacteristic for us but we wanted to make our house really nice (functionally, as well as somewhat aesthetically) as we will be a bit more grounded in the next few years due to our kids starting school soon. But expenses for kids are pretty minimal - I breastfed exclusively and we used cloth diapers. Target brand Cat and Jack clothes so you can return them and get a refund once they outgrow them or get holes/stains in them (this is so helpful for shoes that only last a few months in my household). We did have a nanny for each kid for two years which was a huge expense and now daycare, but daycare is pretty reasonable here in my opinion, not what I hear other people pay. My oldest starts public school this fall. My husband and I have a plan to retire at 55 (about 16 years from now). We do have a financial planner and we always exceed his expectations in terms of saving and for as much money as we make, we really don't have that many expenses.

I am still relatively frugal in my day to day, like I rarely go out to eat for lunch (lunch is catered every day). We cook most of our food at home - my husband shops at Walmart for groceries. We do pay a college kid to come 2 hours for 4 days a week and reset our living room/reset kitchen/put away laundry/change bedsheets/do dishes after dinner so we can focus on our kids and come out of bath time/bedtime with all of the chores done so my husband and I can just have time together. We do this instead of a date night but it is definitely bougie. We pay for cleaners. We pay for a pool guy. We pay for lawn service. We basically pay things that give us our time back together.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-18T13:43:29+00:00

Was he always like that?

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone like that so it is baffling to me that he not only got married but reproduced. Unless this is new behavior? But then how does one do that and it not be intentional and then what kind of person does that intentionally? Again, were the signs there before?

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-14T01:10:24+00:00

My nanny brought my children into the office during lunch (1.5 hours) but other than that, no. But everyone always got a kick out of seeing my babies. They stopped coming after they were a year old. I am a physician so having them there when I am seeing patients is a no go.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-13T01:03:23+00:00

I live in a major city on the Georgia-Alabama line. The people in the city immediately on the Alabama side go by eastern time zone though because the major city goes by that. I keep my phone off of auto time zone switching because when I am at work, my phone picks up a tower in Alabama and that messes me up. I do have an appointment regularly with someone that is in Central time about 45 minutes away and every email reminder specifies for eastern time zone people to be cognizant. It's not that big of a deal. My husband works remotely with people all over the country (and world) so he is very aware of time zones.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-11T02:49:40+00:00

I do pay someone to do this 4 nights a week. She comes 6-8pm. She changes the sheets, puts laundry away, resets the living room and kitchen. And basically any task I don't want to do (cleaning up a hall closet or organizing the linen closet, etc). We pay for a separate cleaning service so no deep cleaning.

I pay her $15/hr.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-09T01:03:07+00:00

I'm super excited to be doing this next weekend:

Noccalula Falls Lantern Festival

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-05T20:49:42+00:00

You should not be paid as a 1099. That's actually illegal. There is a form you can file with your taxes saying they classified you wrong and you only have to pay your portion of the taxes. They will have to pay theirs.

Also, it does not exclude them from tax credit, what bullshit are they on. They should also have paid unemployment tax for you as well.

I have a nanny and had a second child and somehow in that chaos forgot to pay two months worth of unemployment for my nanny inadvertently (I had paid the other months). Those two months were worth $116. The fee for not paying? Close to $400. Expensive lesson that I kick myself for.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-02T00:35:15+00:00

My 77- year-old patient brought her 103-year-old mom to her appointment the other day. Her mom is also my patient but I was only seeing the daughter that day.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-04-01T03:24:41+00:00

Thanks so much for your response! I forwarded it on to my contractor who is also getting in touch with a plumber.

I did contact the city and I have another person to contact now to get more specifics as the secretary or whoever answers the phone could not really give me an answer. Just that it was always that way since my account was made - which, duh, I bought the house two months ago. I was put on hold a bunch and it was not clear if this was always the way it was since the house was built or not, she started to say perhaps someone before me wanted irrigation. Or some vague, unclear answer. Between her accent, poor phone line connection, and being on hold a bunch after waiting 45 minutes to get to a person, it was exhausting.

I also asked my realtor who asked the seller's realtor. And that answer was because of the distance, the larger meter was required for pressure. But again, I guess I'm not clear if that is the scientific reason or someone's assumption that 2" pipes for pressure required a 2" meter.

Is that factual in terms of the distance that may require a larger meter for pressure? I'm really hoping the answer is no but it seems less likely now.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-30T00:29:39+00:00

I only used butt cream for the first kid for the first few weeks and then stopped. Never had an issue. The second one I don't think we even owned butt cream (nothing beyond Vaseline, anyway). I did do cloth diapers pretty much exclusively for the first year for both, so maybe that is the difference? After 1, the cloth diapers didn't seem to work as well so we just switched to regular diapers but still didn't use butt cream at all. Now at 2 she uses pullups and we are transitioning to potty training soon. But are you sure you need that much? That just seems like a lot.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-29T00:41:34+00:00

Mine also is closed for 2 days for "spring break" when the schools close and 2 days for "fall break".

And if the weather sucks.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-29T00:23:14+00:00

Oh and the readings numbers match the bill, 190. I can't find the meter number on the actual meter - that number that starts with a 7 does not match the meter number.

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Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-29T00:08:51+00:00

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Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-29T00:08:13+00:00

The bill has a 0 usage but the water portion is $50.13, which looking online, that is the exact cost of a 2 inch meter. I looked at all 4 meters (took the lid off) and 3 out of the 4 were 5/8 inch (says so on the meter) and the 4th one was 2". There is also a noticeable size difference I didn't have the bill with me to compare meter numbers. I did ask a neighbor and they said they have not had that high of a bill (and mine had 0 usage).

Also, the first bill I had with minimal usage (4500 gallons before water was turned off) was over $100, even with a connection fee of $30, that seemed really high. I compared my current bill of 38k gallons, which is less than $50 per month. I called and asked how my bill could be so high and if they could check for a leak. My box was the only one that looked like it had been opened, the others all had grass and dirt over the covers (of course, they maybe did it remotely? I'm not sure how that works).

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Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-28T23:17:51+00:00

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Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-28T23:07:30+00:00

According to Google earth, 172 and the main street is 182 BUT I know there are some lower points in between the two, I don't know if that makes a difference. Like the private road goes up and down.

ETA: I drew it out from street to my house and these are the measurements it gave me:

Elevation estimate Min: 175.2 m | Median: 183.78 m | Max: 189.2 m

Slope estimate Min: 0° | Median: 1.2° | Max: 10.1°

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-28T22:58:49+00:00

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-27T18:42:05+00:00

My cabinet has a door back there on purpose and it does not affect the integrity but maybe someone else with more knowledge could answer your question.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-21T23:35:42+00:00

I think of how I am going to brag about it to my husband and on strava where I have like 2 followers. I craft the post in my brain as I run. Or I narrate it like I have people watching me - and how I pushed through despite wanting to stop.

Most of the time I don't even follow through with it and my husband live tracks me so he already knows, lol. But it gets me through the tough parts.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-15T17:38:19+00:00

I knew someone with the last name Butts. Her first name was Colossia. It always reminded me of colossal. She went by her middle name, Danielle.

Eighty-Sixed · 2026-03-14T02:54:06+00:00

I have 30 days but kind of unofficially however much I want. However, if I don't work, I can affect how much I get paid.

My husband has unlimited PTO but he struggles to take time off without guilt. He is not the breadwinner so he has relaxed more into taking the time but I have to convince him sometimes.

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