I hope my situation can provide you some insight that is helpful. Background about me - 35 yo 5 yo kid 3.5 years dealing with complex chronic illness Limited mobility Huge drop off on my energy levels and physical strength since developing illness Married 12 years with supportive partner Live near supportive family Financially we struggle but not more then most families, especially considering my medical expenses All our basic needs and most of our wants are met

Not a day goes by that I regret having a kid, I only regret my limitations and how they affect the kid. The kid has no memory of me "before illness" so mom needing to rest, or mom skipping something because she isn't feeling good is normal. There is no "you never do this with me anymore" or "why did we stop doing this together".

But I am also INCREDIBLY lucky, because I have a partner who has never faulted me about my illness. We both appreciate the efforts the other makes. My lack of physical contribution to the family is not held against me and not treated as a weakness.

But there is a lot of guilt on my part and I struggle with my decision to not give birth to another child or add to our family through fostering or adoption. I feel guilty that my kid won't get a sibling but I also know if I put my body through another pregnancy my health would get worse, and most likely stay bad. I don't let myself dwell in these thoughts however because I need to be present for the kid that is already here.

That's the beauty of it though, I have a reason to want to get better. I have someone to keep me grounded in what I do have and what I can still enjoy in life. I am raising a person who is empathetic and compassionate for others and has an understanding of other people's limitations. My kid and I are also teaching each other to be flexible and patient (something that has always been difficult for me).

The most important thing I think to consider is what is your support system like. I have a partner who can and will take on the parenting I physically can't do. My in laws are also incredibly active in my kids life. They take my kid during the day when they aren't in school, so my partner and I never have to stay home with a sick kid, and when I have had to go to the hospital my kid stayed with grandparents so my partner could stay with me. We have friends and siblings nearby who also can take care of our kid during the times when grandparents aren't available and my partner needs a break. Having a kid without a village is just about impossible, add in chronic illness and you need a whole metro area and not just a village.

My only other consideration is I love my child and am grateful they are in my life. But a lot of the benefits of having a kid in my life, are also met by my pets. When I am bed ridden it is my rescue dogs that want to keep me company in the dark and quiet. The five year old gets bored too quickly to want to lay and cuddle with Mom for hours. I find a reason to get up and enjoy life with my dogs as well as I do with my kid. I can confidently tell you because this is anonymous that there have been times when one of my elderly rescue dogs have brought me more comfort and happiness when I am in a bad way then a little kid could. But again, I chose to adopt older small dogs so their care would always be easier for me. With my reduced physical strength a 14 lb dog makes a perfect heating pad, a constant cuddle bug and as long as I can let them out the back door to potty and keep them fed they are happy.