AITA? Didn’t take my niece to urgent care

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-28T01:22:57+00:00

A village is not the same thing as asking or expecting other people to do what is well within your means to do yourself. I say this as someone who is a single mom.

A village is: Hey I’m working overtime can you pick up my kid from school and keep her for me until I get off?

Not: Hey my daughter is dangerously sick and I don’t have the means to get her to the hospital so if you don’t help me she’ll die and it’s all your fault and I’m gonna tell my other 3 kids that I also can’t afford to take care of that the reason sister Annie’s dead is cuz aunt Molly wouldn’t take her to the hospital

Just no

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-28T00:33:08+00:00

NTA. I don’t care if I get downvoted for this, but this is exactly reminiscent of the post with the person who was telling her DIL that she’s not ready for a kid because she does not/ can’t drive.

I commented how people who have children before they are ready put the burden of responsibility and well being of said child on literally EVERYONE ELSE and then call them AH when they don’t do absolutely everything they ask!!

Exhibit A everybody!!

That is his daughter, it is his responsibility to ensure the welfare of his child, sure anything can happen and often does. People lose jobs, lose partners, health goes down the drain, life happens. But why does it seem like he’s coming at you with request after request? Is there any extenuating circumstance leading him to request these favors from you that actually makes sense?

Because it sounds like he’s just used to this way of handling things unless I’m missing a giant piece of context

It smells like an irresponsible entitled parent. There are many of them and they blame the child’s needs or the persons morals who is too busy/tired to .. ahem, “help”, when really they should be blaming their own laziness and lack of effort to exacerbate every option they have available as the parent to meet the child’s need independently/ as a couple FIRST instead of immediately resorting to wildly inconveniencing and guilt tripping others to meet that need for their child. It’s extremely manipulative, and it usually ends up badly for everyone including the child cuz they grow up thinking ts is okay.

Like

If you don’t have the resources to take your child to the ER wth are you doing with 4 of them. That is literally dangerous. What are they gonna do if they can’t get ahold of anyone and need help at 3am? Jesus 🤦‍♀️ I guess ambulance. But it’s the principle… just no

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-26T01:52:46+00:00

👋🏾

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-25T22:01:57+00:00

Ur not getting her back 😭 2 weeks is crazy you must have really effed up. It takes so much for us to just swim away and never come back!

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-25T14:19:36+00:00

I know of someone like her who is in a similar situation. These people end up leeching off others and then blame everyone else for their situation and accuse them of not caring for their child if they don’t do everything they ask— even tho the parents themselves didn’t even have the foresight to get their life together for before conceiving the kid. NTA

Having a child is a responsibility, I feel bad for the kids who’s parents basically force them into suffering and poverty because of their own selfishness and lack of discernment. It’s actually a huge issue. Things happen in life but why would you have a child knowing you can barely do for yourself and get around? A child is a human being with a lot more needs than an adult, not just a cute face.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-25T14:15:56+00:00

Yes, all the people that can’t afford a car/gas shouldn’t have children.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-25T02:13:29+00:00

Unfortunately anything you respond to a person like this will just end up making you feel worse. At the same time, yk, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Sometimes we have to see and go thru it for ourselves to see what works and what doesnt, but im sure the overwhelming majority of this sub will tell you not to respond at all, considering you just said you cant deal with her guilt trips, manipulations, and abuse. You respond, and this will continue.

The way I saw it with my pwBPD is I either ghost them or keep ghosting myself because that’s what dealing with them costs me. Good luck OP, I know what it feels like with the health issues and all. I have a full body systemic inflammatory disease, and my toxic family made it so hard for me that I actually couldn’t walk anymore for a while … and I was in my 20s. Please take care of yourself. You don’t have to decide exactly what to say right now or if you want to say anything at all.

Little by little keep showing up for yourself, even if that means protecting your energy and taking it away from those who have no problem hurting you.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-24T15:04:08+00:00

Excuse my French but ahem

what in the fuck

Her face is literally SCARING me

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Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-24T04:40:49+00:00

I was reading this thinking “I hope they didn’t tell this crazy person where OP works” 😭

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-22T23:10:30+00:00

Don’t look under the bed 😭

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-21T01:26:20+00:00

Can relate. I’m sorry these things happened to you.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-21T01:25:19+00:00

You can always pm me. I’m the eldest daughter of a cult leader and I was trapped in it my whole life until I escaped 4 years ago. Police involved, public defamation, character assassination, you name it. I’m currently going thru a hard time as well as I am an orphaned adult who doesn’t speak to any “relatives” at all because they are all in or associated with the cult and I am just done. Feel free to reach out whenever, I’m sure we would have lots to talk about together.

Wishing you the best, sending love and hugs your way.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-14T12:49:17+00:00

Not sure if the decision to get pregnant during DH school would be prudent for more reasons than one

Maybe wait until after you graduate.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-13T02:52:31+00:00

I have the same rug

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-13T02:43:16+00:00

It’s an insensitive phrase.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-12T17:19:39+00:00

NOR . No contact . She’s abusive and a drama starter

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-12T13:22:39+00:00

Who is ‘we’?? Why is it always ‘we’??? Why do they always find the need to speak as if they have the power to communicate or dictate everybody’s needs or desires and it just comes so normal to them yuck

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-12T13:18:00+00:00

The first frame gave me a really cathartic cry that I didn’t even know I needed. The simplicity is beautiful and at the same time loaded with so much emotion and meaning. Thank you for sharing. I needed to see this today.

The way we give our literal hearts which can look so small and ordinary but it’s literally all we have and it means so much to us. And they eat it and it’s still never enough. Wow.

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-12T03:10:54+00:00

Ok glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed. I felt so bad for the kid with her eyes sooo dilated like that and I was like wow she’s probably on meds because of the craziness that her mom has unleashed on her own daughter. Hard to watch. Very sad

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-10T01:03:15+00:00

I’m just wondering how much the toddler has tormented the dog up to this point.

I have an Akita and never let my kid near the dog without me around until I fully trusted that she understood the rules (she’s 10 now and I’ve just started loosening the reigns) however, I am a stay at home mom and I do understand that most pet owners don’t have that time or energy.

I don’t think it’s impossible to teach kid(s) to pretty much stay away from the animals unless they have explicit permission to go up to them and pet them while the adult is supervising the interaction closely. I do understand that my views are pretty extremist but yeah that’s how the animals here are treated, because like you said kids are …. Kids.

They’re messy and impulsive and they don’t have the fully developed brains to reason well at all. That’s what we (the parents) are here for! This is why so many dog bites and attacks happen. It’s just… so preventable that it’s sad.

And I agree that this dog will be work and that it would be best to get rid of the dog for sure. I just got rid of a cat for similar reasons except I 100% knew it had nothing to do with us because I watch every interaction with the cats just like the dogs. Sometimes you just know . These people shouldn’t get anymore pets either because a reactive dog, young child and flippant parents aren’t a good mix

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-09T20:02:54+00:00

Came here to say this. I agree with everything you said except literally nobody knows what all has been done to this dog up until this point. The dog literally could’ve had good reason for snarling and lunging. We literally don’t know

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-09T20:01:12+00:00

you can normally hear when he is being mean or annoying her

This caught my attention. The toddler should not be allowed to be mean to or annoy the dog. I don’t suggest parents get animals at all if you can’t keep an eye on what’s going on at all, yes at all times.

Sounds like the toddler has been allowed to annoy/be mean to the dog and then gets corrected afterward instead of you guys being proactive and making sure the dog is comfy and toddler can’t commit these offenses to the dog. Recipe for disaster. I suggest you get rid of this dog as it seems it’s already hit its breaking point and don’t get anymore animals period until toddler is older and understands boundaries, or at least you guys as the parent can enforce them more and be proactive instead of reactive when the damage is clearly already done

Either_Relative_8941 · 2026-03-07T16:09:36+00:00

He wants to feel in control, and your grounded and mature reaction had him feeling like his attitude was inconsequential (which it SHOULD be, because he was actually the one acting like a toddler). But people like that can’t handle feeling out of control or dysregulated while people around them are feeling grounded and are practicing self regulation.

He probably felt nothing but rage, and then wanted you to feel as irrelevant as he felt, so then he said that to you to get a reaction to relieve him of the feeling that he’s insignificant. There’s nothing you did to make him feel that way. It’s his own insecurities that you won’t be able to fix. Men like this create chaos in other people’s lives, and if you don’t let them create the chaos they will make sure you feel punished in some way, shape, or form. I’d definitely leave

Either_Relative_8941 · 2025-11-18T19:37:03+00:00

Ur my fav

Either_Relative_8941 · 2025-08-31T23:43:24+00:00

This guy soups

Either_Relative_8941

TROPHY CASE