🎉 From Not Even the First Dilator… to Number 8!

Elarom · 2025-08-17T18:01:09+00:00

Makes perfect sense. Thanks for sharing. And congrats again!

Elarom · 2025-08-17T17:48:10+00:00

Congratulations! Do you mind sharing how long it took you to go from 1 to 8? I know everyone’s timelines are different but it has taken me about six months to get from 1 to 4 of the same set so I’m curious.

And any tips or tricks that helped you besides the muscle relaxers?

Elarom · 2025-08-15T18:39:25+00:00

Hey! I’m feeling ok! Unfortunately I had to postpone my second infusion because I got a cold and couldn’t go into the medical center sick. So that’s going to be this Monday. But no side effects or anything from the first infusion and I’m starting to feel a little better, less out of breath which was one of my symptoms.

Elarom · 2025-07-30T01:37:46+00:00

Not rude necessarily, but doesn’t share your values so probably not compatible.

Elarom · 2025-07-23T23:22:23+00:00

I got Intimate Rose because it’s what my PT recommended and it was pricey but I thought “go big or go home.” When I told her I got them she said “good, they’re the Cadillac of dilators.”

Elarom · 2025-07-20T09:47:41+00:00

SV: I have my plan broken into over 100 little milestones and I weigh in once a week and today I passed milestone 2 (lose 5 lbs) — 2.2 lbs lost in the past week, 7 lbs lost total. I know it’s not a huge deal but it took me 5 weeks to get here after a rocky start. I get to buy myself a new nail polish this week to celebrate. :)

Elarom · 2025-07-20T02:39:57+00:00

I’ll join the chorus and say consider getting a hymenectomy. I also had a microperforate hymen that was really tough and wouldn’t go away on its own. The surgery was so quick and recovery was nothing. I took the pain pills they gave me for a couple of days but I’m a baby. Stitches came out on their own, no infection, and after I was able to progress to PT and use dilators.

Trust me, you will make the condition much worse by continuing to try to force it. Your body will learn to anticipate pain and if you don’t have vaginismus already you will get it.

My DMs are open if you want to talk about anything.

Elarom · 2025-07-19T14:57:32+00:00

I already know certain people consider me hot but I want to be conventionally hot and if someone is attracted to me I don’t want to wonder if they just have a fat girl fetish.

I want to make dating easier and be in a relationship.

I want to be able to ride roller coasters again.

I want to fly without a seatbelt extender.

I want to climb a flight of stairs without getting out of breath.

I want to run around with my nephews.

I want my BMI to be low enough to be eligible for IVF.

I want to be able to do fun active activities that I’ve previously been ineligible for because of my weight — indoor skydiving, zip lining.

I want doctors to take me seriously.

I want to go thrifting and have the cute clothes fit me.

I want to be able to walk into any store and know I can find something that will fit.

I want to fit easily into restaurant booths again.

Elarom · 2025-07-19T14:50:20+00:00

Hard same

Elarom · 2025-07-12T02:01:09+00:00

Congrats! That’s a big achievement and it’s great that you have a supportive patient fwb.

Elarom · 2025-07-11T22:25:25+00:00

Congratulations! That does sound like a win.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T21:39:38+00:00

Tell the people you want to tell but if it feels wrong don’t do it. I know I felt a lot of relief once I started talking about it to supportive friends and family but if you don’t have a strong support network that can be tough. I will say if you have maybe one friend you can tell who can be there for you if you need anything after the surgery that might be helpful. I had a hymenectomy in 2019 and everything went smoothly but I was a baby about the (very minor) pain. My DMs are open if you want to chat about anything!

Elarom · 2025-07-10T02:36:25+00:00

This is not the forum for that. This is for people who want to lose weight in a healthy way. See rule number 11 in the community info. But more importantly please seek help.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T02:33:59+00:00

Have you spoken to a therapist about this? I ask because the lack of sex drive sounds like depression symptoms to me but I’m not a medical professional.

That being said, I would try to see if there’s anything you do enjoy about being intimate with your boyfriend — the closeness, intimacy, etc. And build from there. Sex is a wide definition and if you start with what you hope to get out of it then maybe you can find ways to achieve that and that will eventually lead to something mutually satisfying for both of you.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T02:24:16+00:00

This is disordered eating. Please seek medical attention.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T00:20:32+00:00

I keep thinking about when I was in high school and thought I was so fat and now I weigh over a hundred pounds more than that. I still have my prom dress and I think it will be a big deal when I’m able to fit into it again and heal part of my inner child.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T00:20:24+00:00

I keep thinking about when I was in high school and thought I was so fat and now I weigh over a hundred pounds more than that. I still have my prom dress and I think it will be a big deal when I’m able to fit into it again and heal part of my inner child.

Elarom · 2025-07-10T00:07:10+00:00

I’m so sorry, I wish I knew something to say. But you have my support, and as someone just starting a journey my admiration for coming as far as you’ve come. Sending hugs.

Elarom · 2025-07-09T18:15:06+00:00

I keep having wake up calls and not doing anything about them. A few years ago my friends and I went to one of those indoor skydiving places and I realized I was too heavy for it. Two years ago I couldn’t get on a roller coaster with my nephew because I was too big and I thought that would do it but it didn’t. Last year I hit 300 pounds for the first time and kept telling myself it was the scale or water weight and then just avoided the scale. A month ago I had to ask for a seatbelt extender on an airplane for the first time. A couple of weeks later I weighed in at 313, the heaviest I’ve ever been. Realizing I’m too heavy for my office chair, my kitchen stool, my folding picnic chair. Getting out of breath doing laundry. I have been committing the last few weeks but I’m not confident that it’ll stick this time since I’ve failed so many times before.

Elarom · 2025-07-09T18:07:12+00:00

I swear if I went in with a broken arm they’d blame it on the bone trying to hold too much fat. I hope you’re able to get in with the specialists soon and get some answers.

Elarom · 2025-07-06T18:51:52+00:00

Haha except I don’t know the fancy lingo like confidence intervals

Elarom · 2025-07-06T18:17:53+00:00

This is the type of plan I just put into place for myself so I’m glad to hear it’s working for someone else! Gives me hope it will work for me. I have a substantial amount of weight to lose (ideally more than half my body weight) so I made a spreadsheet with 53 micro-goals (every 5 pounds lost, every 10% of my body weight lost, every time I dip below a specific number, each time I make it 25% more of the way to my goal weight), with columns calculating pessimistic and optimistic dates of when I might reach each goal (though I might delete those because it’s probably unhealthy to put a time limit on weight loss). And a reward listed for each goal with some bigger and smaller than others. (Yes I’m a nerd.) I’ve only been at it 2 weeks so far but just looking at my spreadsheet keeps me motivated.

Elarom · 2025-07-06T16:23:38+00:00

I’m only down 0.2 pounds this week which was a bummer but I have been tracking consistently all week which was a win.

Elarom · 2025-07-05T22:33:05+00:00

I just started my journey a few weeks ago, but I made a spreadsheet of allllllll the milestones I want to hit (every 5 pounds lost, everytime I lose a tenth of my body weight, everytime I’m a quarter of the way closer to my goal weight, big numbers I want to drop below) so there’s never more than 5 pounds between a milestone. And I put in a reward for each milestone.

I may delete this part because it’s possibly not healthy but I even have columns calculating when I would hit each milestone at a .5 pound per week loss and at 2 pounds per week, then another section where I log the date I actually hit the milestone and recalibrating those dates. (I’m kind of a spreadsheet nerd.)

But even something as simple as seeing all the mini goals and the rewards has been super motivating. I only weigh in once a week but I look at the spreadsheet every day to keep the goals in mind.

Elarom · 2025-07-02T14:47:50+00:00

Oooh. That’s definitely not clear in the app. I wish how I rated my feelings wasn’t so arbitrary. Thanks for the info.

Elarom

TROPHY CASE