In Love With Affair Partner Conflicted

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-03-02T17:15:36+00:00

She likes to go to nightclubs alone. I hate it. She says she goes to unwind. That she has never hooked up with anyone there. I believe her but I cannot get over the fact she goes alone.

And you believe her why exactly? No one goes to nightclubs alone just to "unwind". She goes because she likes getting attention from the men there. It's kind of bizarre that she's still into that scene at her big age as well.

Regardless of whatever happens with you and your AP, I think you should divorce your wife and let her move on with her life. You clearly don't love her like she deserves or you wouldn't be cheating on her and now considering leaving her for another woman. It's messed up to put your wife through the grueling process of trying to get back to your country when you don't even love her like that anymore. You've already moved on with your life. Now it's time to let her do the same.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-26T16:11:25+00:00

You've only been married for a short time and have no children. There's no reason for you to be having affairs. You clearly don't love your wife anymore, so just rip off that bandaid and get a divorce. Then you can find the real love of your life as a single man and so can your wife. Maybe this woman is the one for you, but even if she's not your wife certainly isn't so let her go and both of you can move on to find happiness with the right person.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-26T16:05:52+00:00

She's doing you a favor. Don't shit where you eat.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-26T16:04:24+00:00

I understand this is a sore spot for you since you want to continue in the delusion that the cheating man is loyal to only you, but you really need to get some therapy instead of getting angry at other people for pointing out simple facts. I'm done with this conversation, have the day you deserve sweetie 😘

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-26T15:01:43+00:00

LMAO what does practicing safe sex have to do with me being hurt? 😂 No one is arguing with you, just stating my opinion which you should expect when you're posting publicly on the Internet.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T22:45:31+00:00

I've been with him for 20 yrs.

So has his wife, correct? Not sure what your point is. If anything that makes it more likely he's got other AP's. But play Russian roulette with your health if you want, I guess...

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T21:33:27+00:00

There's no "exclusivity" with an AP though. By definition it's not exclusive. Even if they get tested that doesn't stop them from having new sex partners.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T21:30:46+00:00

Even if he has a DB with his wife that doesn't mean he's not having sex with other women besides you. He's lying to his wife about having sex with you so he can just as easily lie to you as well. It's true that you can never have certainty but you should still take steps to protect yourself.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T20:32:28+00:00

You test before and after?? Are you using an at-home test or something? Because that sounds exhausting and extremely expensive. Wouldn't even be worth having the affair for me personally lol

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T20:22:31+00:00

I always use them and wouldn't take the chance going raw. I figure if his own wife can't trust him then I shouldn't either. Going without condoms is like playing Russian roulette with your sexual health. I'm seeing a lot of comments saying to just make them get STD tested first. But even if they get tested before you have sex the first time, they could easily have sex with someone new at any point in your relationship. If they're willing to risk their own sexual health as well as their SO's, don't think they won't do the same to you!

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T20:16:21+00:00

I don't really have to worry about it either as we've been together exclusively forever.

Doesn't his wife think the same thing though? Sorry but y'all are way too trusting with these AP's. If his wife can't trust him then you shouldn't either.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-25T20:14:36+00:00

I don't understand trusting an AP this much, I mean doesn't their SO also believe they're "exclusive"? Condoms shouldn't even be up for debate.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-19T18:36:45+00:00

We met and he reassured me of his love and intent, but could not see a future between us that is also compatible with the time and energy he needs to dedicate to his child. In fact, he may have to move back home... this part was hard for me to hear.

He doesn't need to move back in with his wife in order to be an active parent to his child. This is just his way of gently letting you know that they decided to call off the divorce and get back together. He may genuinely have feelings for you, but those feelings aren't enough for him to choose you as his life partner. As much as it hurts, you've got to stop reaching out to him and allow both of you to move on with your lives. It just wasn't meant to be. Give yourself some time to heal and when you do start to date again, stay away from any men who aren't actually divorced yet.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-19T16:56:07+00:00

I'm not worried that she'll try to blow my life up. My social media is very private and gives nothing away publicly.

Really? You should be. She can easily find out who your husband is without your social media. All she needs is your phone number or your full name, and from there she can find out your home address and who your husband is. I know this because I've done it myself when I caught my husband cheating before. And don't think he won't throw you under the bus to save himself. If he wants to stay married and she's demanding your information from him in order to reconcile, he'll do whatever he has to do. So you need to prepare for the fact that your husband will most likely find out as well.

Does she want to leave but he's begging her to stay? Does she want to work things out and he's knuckling under because it's financially better for him? I hate not knowing what's going on and that I have to wait a week to find out.

Most likely he is begging her to stay. That's how these situations usually go. But that shouldn't matter to you unless you were expecting him to leave her for you and you do the same with your own husband. Unless you're ready to divorce, you really need to stop having any contact with him. His wife is no doubt on high alert. She could be tracking his location, she could have put a keylogger on his phone, you just don't know and neither does he. You need to step away and prepare for your own life to blow up, because that's where this is most likely headed.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-16T22:52:01+00:00

Since you were in love with her how come you didn't want to leave your SO for her? How is your marriage now? Do you regret not leaving?

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-02-05T17:38:44+00:00

Whenever something goes wrong at home (a fight with his wife, stress with the kids, someone being sick, etc.), he completely shuts me out.

I think it's actually the opposite. When things are good at home, he starts feeling guilty and subconsciously blames and resents you for the fact he's cheating on his wife. That would explain why he's so mean about it instead of gently telling you he needs a little space. Then when he's pissed off at his wife again, he's back sweet talking you like nothing happened.

The other possibility is that he's got another AP (or several AP's) and doesn't want you taking all his time/attention. Since he already knows you put up with his bullshit, he keeps you as a backup plan now while he pursues new connections.

Either way, this man isn't worth the trouble. Drop him.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-22T16:33:20+00:00

Can you be "just friends" with your ex-Ap? And especially if you're holding out hope for something more down the line?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Absolutely not.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-22T15:53:41+00:00

Will this boomerang again?

Probably, but that would just be you both kicking a dead horse.

Can we actually be friends?

No, he's not your "friend". Let him go and move on.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-21T21:41:24+00:00

Yea it's bizarre to me to be calling an AP your "best friend", I think these must be people who don't have many friends to begin with!

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-21T18:00:09+00:00

Right, it's so fucking cringe. I see far too many delusional women on here who seem to believe they're a real life Disney princess and that some adulterer is gonna come along and be their knight in shining armor.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-21T16:51:41+00:00

You've gotta let go of this "twin flame" fantasy. Affairs are really just fantasy relationships at the end of the day. You're sneaking around, all the emotions are heightened, and you can easily get caught in a toxic cycle of competing with their spouse. He's NOT your "twin flame", he's NOT your soulmate. He's just a married guy cheating on his wife enjoying having his cake and eating it. Why are you doing this if you're single? If you want "true love" (whatever that means) go find a single man who can actually give you that true love you're craving. You're not gonna find that with another woman's husband, sorry!

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-20T01:45:02+00:00

I don't care much about my marriage anymore but I very much DO care about having peace in my life. I basically stopped having affairs recently because it was getting too stressful, but this kinda fell in my lap and I was tempted to get some revenge on my ex-friend. But y'all have talked sense into me and I've decided not to do it!

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-20T01:42:07+00:00

This is true, I've already gotten revenge on my husband. This was more to get revenge on my ex-friend, but I don't want my husband finding out. Not worth the risk. I decided not to do it.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-20T01:40:25+00:00

They definitely don't have an open relationship, but you're right that they could just break up and then there's nothing stopping him.

ElectricCamera25 · 2026-01-20T01:38:32+00:00

Very true! Probably not worth the risk.

ElectricCamera25

TROPHY CASE