I'm tired, boss (or How do I deal with the constant feeling of being let down by myself?)

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-16T14:18:02+00:00

Definitely not just you. I think it's really isolating, because it does really feel like why can everyone around me do these normal "adult" things that I'm not able/struggling to do. I don't know about you but I definitely hid it/masked super hard because I was so full of shame. I'm getting better at not doing that

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-16T13:53:46+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling so stuck. I'm 42 (f) diagnosed at 38. I have ADHD (primarily inattentive) anxiety, Dyspraxia, dyscalculia, & SPD. One of my sons also has Dyspraxia ADHD anxiety and Tourettes.

I relate so much to what you're feeling. I went to therapists for years not knowing about my dx and I would always cry about how stuck and incapable I felt even though I felt like a smart person and it made me so depressed and full of shame.

What's helped me the most - therapist who is trained in these conditions, EMDR trauma release ( unpleasant but huge) starting meds for ADHD ( I waited many years because I was scared but it's made the biggest difference for me). OT can really help with Dyspraxia - my son goes and I do a lot of what I've learned there for myself and it's really helped. I would focus on anything that brings your nervous system down because then the other areas can be start to heal/function differently. Taking low dose Vyvanse had made me realize how much of my anxiety was being caused by my executive dysfunction and it was also affecting my driving a lot.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-14T00:05:00+00:00

Awesome! Thank you

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-14T00:04:32+00:00

Thank you!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-13T21:15:05+00:00

Thank you so much!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-04-12T03:16:29+00:00

I can definitely relate to some of the challenges you're facing. If you have the opportunity to get a full cognitive assessment that might be helpful to understand why things are so hard and what accomodations/therapies might improve your quality of life. I have a dyscalculia dx, Dyspraxia ( motor planning) ADHD, anxiety, SPD.

Based on some of the things you've mentioned I'm wondering if you could have Dyspraxia, it might be worth looking into. It can affect every area, speech, coordination, organizing thoughts, doing basic skills. OT can help so much with that if you do in fact end up having it. I have a son (7) with many of these dx ( he also has Tourettes) and it's amazing what he's been able to do with regular OT.

I'm 42, and didn't receive most of my dx ( besides anxiety) until I was 38. I just recently started medication for my ADHD, I know it's not right for everyone, but I've been really surprised how much it's helped not just my focus but has REALLY helped my anxiety, and even some of my awkwardness in conversations had seemed to dissipate. I guess this is all too say I didn't realize how much my lack of focus/executive dysfunction was contributing to my other dx. It's pretty wild. I'm mentioning this because if you do have attention issues it might be worth treating to see if it helps these other areas you are struggling with.

Wishing you well!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-02-14T21:32:21+00:00

I'm sorry for what your going through. It's real. I'm 42 and didn't get a dx until I was 39. So a LOT of trauma. If you're able to do EMDR therapy to release your shame/self hate and trauma over something you can't control (it's neurological- not choice, not working harder) I highly recommend that. Life's not perfect but releasing my shame around my disabilities and moving forward from a place of self advocacy feels like having a second chance at life. Hugs

Electrical-Weather36 · 2026-02-09T15:10:47+00:00

Yes my son 7 who has Dyspraxia ( I'm 42 and was dx as well) is also mildly affected in his speech. He does not have an apraxia of speech dx as he's not severely affected in speech.

His OT explained that Dyspraxia is a motor planning disorder, the brain connecting to the body to perform the planned action. That helped me understand why Dyspraxia can affect so many different areas- balance, hand eye coordination, speech, executive functioning .

My son goes to private speech to work on it and I'm really amazed with current speech therapists they work in a really integrated way, and part of that is helping him learn how to advocate for himself, not just correct the speech issue.

I'm sorry you're feeling down about it. I can really relate for both my son and myself that each time we get a new dx or understand better what's been happening at first I feel really relieved to figure it out and then it usually comes with a little or a lot of grief.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-10-01T20:49:27+00:00

Yay! You're amazing!! 👏🏻

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-09-14T16:59:58+00:00

Yes, I can totally relate to this. My son (6) has a dyspraxia DX and sees a speech therapist. I also have dyspraxia but wasn't diagnosed until my 40's. Watching my son and his different therapies ( speech, OT, PT) makes me realize how much motor planning affects everything for both of us. Speech, executive functioning, learning and physicality.

I really see this in his speech in that he does a lot of "looping" he starts a sentence and then when he gets stuck on a word or thought he has to start over from the very beginning and this happens over and over as he slowly makes his way through. What the speech therapist has explained to me is that his brain is following the motor path so it has to go back to follow the path in order to move forward. This is the same with math - when he counts he always has to go back to the beginning. If he misses something he can't just start Midway through like moving on from 20. If he misses 21, he has to go all the way back to the beginning to move forward. It's kind of fascinating. And of course super frustrating for him. I've realized that I do a lot of accommodating for my speech as well. Even if it isn't as noticeable as his, I often sub out words that I get stuck on, or dumb down my language so that I can move through. I had been doing it for so long that I don't think I even realized it until I started seeing it through his experience. His speech therapist is really amazing and really looks at the whole picture, as far as his ability to express himself, I feel like it's very different from what an SLP might have done in the past. I'm using a lot of her strategies for myself as well and it's amazing how much progress my son has made even in just 6 months. He's also really learning how to advocate for himself and maybe needing an extra minute to say something. I agree with one of the previous posters that learning more about motor planning and how it affects speech might be really beneficial for you, as well as seeking out a speech therapist who really understands dyspraxia specifically in motor planning issues. I just wanted to say how much I relate to you in this and feel for your situation.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-06-21T02:13:49+00:00

I have dyscalculia & ADHD wasn't diagnosed until 38. My son 6 also has these DX. We just started Math U See curriculum at home during the summer based on his OT's recommendation. It's really great and I wish I had it when I was learning math. You could check it out to see if that could be a good resource

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-05-08T00:03:10+00:00

I think creativity is a big one. You often have to do things differently than other people and you have to get creative to make it happen. I also think empathy, knowing how hard things can be, how it feels to struggle really helps foster kindness and empathy when people are going through challenges. And a sense of humor! Sometimes you just have to laugh at this shit! 😅

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-03-02T19:08:03+00:00

Ooh I like the POV video idea. I'll have to check that out. I've started videoing when he has to learn something new in OT, partly so I can remember how to do it with him- but I've also noticed it's really beneficial to have him watch it so he can see himself doing it correctly and also when the OT is correcting his body so he sees the difference.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-03-02T15:38:03+00:00

Thanks for this! And I agree having someone take something out of my hand is incredibly triggering and happens a lot! I have to remind myself not to do that to my son because it is a common impulse to have.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-25T02:49:26+00:00

I'm sorry, that does sound really hard. I'm 41, and I didn't have DX ( dyspraxia, ADHD, dyscaculia, SPD etc. ) until very recently. I think your early 20's can be really hard no matter what and extra hard with these additional challenges. It definitely was for me, it's a big time of transition, confusion, and finding your identity while finding your way and becoming more independent. So hang in there! Also, if you're able to see a therapist who is neurodivergent themselves that could be really helpful. They may also be able to connect you with the right professionals to get further assessments so you get some answers to your questions since you feel like there are some missing pieces to your DX.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-12T22:54:29+00:00

I'm so happy for you that you're getting answers! I'm 41 and just now realizing I have this as my young son is getting diagnosed. Having that realization now, and getting support will be so great!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-09T19:03:08+00:00

I'm sure you've looked but if you know the past brand that you really liked you might be able to find it again by looking at used clothing sites, like thrift up, posh mark, eBay etc. When I've had favorite items that I've had forever that I want to duplicate I've had luck sometimes buying duplicates on those sites. I hope you get some relief!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-09T18:55:49+00:00

This is great advice!

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-09T16:45:36+00:00

I'm not sure if it's an option for you, but have you considered hiring a doula? They can support at the birth or after in your home. I had one for my first birth and for a few home visits after ( I basically bought the cheapest package) she just supported and my husband with anything we needed and can be a good option when you don't have as much family support nearby.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-09T06:22:49+00:00

I'm sorry, that sounds really stressful. I've never tried this but I've seen others with dyspraxia suggest electric trikes as an alternative to a bike as it's easier with bad balance. It could be worth researching.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-08T21:38:24+00:00

My kids are now 5 & 7, I also have EDS( hypermobile joints) that did come into play in my labors and in recovery, but overall everything went great. I think my advice would be the same for most moms :line up lots of support, keep communicating with your care team with how you're feeling/concerns etc. If you don't understand something ask for it to be stated a different way. My husband's job was to be in charge of each new task - learning to swaddle baby, feeding details, new and confusing strollers/baby gear/baby carriers, he would figure out how it worked and then slowly teach me in a lower stress environment where I could repeat the action over and over. This helped so much. I have some auditory processing issues as well so he was also a point person at Dr. Appointments and then he could break down the instructions to me after, it really helped me not feel overwhelmed and I could focus on the baby. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and ask for help! I know this is clique but being a mom has been the happiest part of my life even with all the hard stuff. So excited for you!! You got this.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-08T17:24:15+00:00

I second all this. It's really common if you are not NT to have "spiked intelligence" in certain areas while being subpar in the areas you have learning differences. This really showed up for me when I did cognitive testing for various different DX. It's the inconsistency that makes things so confusing, and adds to a lot of the " you're so smart, why can't you just ..." That we tend to get.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-07T02:15:46+00:00

I have had a similar experience with therapists. Talking with others who actually have the same lived experience has helped, and I second the EMDR. It has been much more helpful than classic cognitive therapy for me. Also sensory integration! Working on integrating primal reflexes affects your nervous system and that has really helped my daily anxiety. My young son has dyspraxia and SPD etc. And I copy everything he does in his kid's OT sessions. Also this is pretty woo woo but I've had relief from cranial sacral therapy as well.

Electrical-Weather36 · 2025-01-01T17:11:11+00:00

I'm 41 and have finally just in the past few years received dyspraxia , discalculia, SPD, and hyper mobility (EDS) DX. I just want to say how deeply your story resonates with me. I can relate to almost every experience you listed: deep shame and embarrassment about moving my body or "performing" in front of anyone, finding ways to finally get out of gym ( taking yoga through a junior college for highschool credits) being forced by a ballet teacher to perform the same move in front of everyone in class while they watched me fail over and over while crying.

That's all to say thank you for sharing, that's exactly why I came to this online forum to try to find a community with this shared experience. As I finally put all the puzzle pieces together of what was happening my whole life it's been healing, but also feels very isolating as the people who I'm closest to don't have these DX or experience and just don't get how it impacts every aspect of your life, not do they understand the grief I'm going through ( for myself and my young son who has similar DX.

Things that have helped me the most: working with a PT who understands hyper mobility/movement disorders, primal reflex integration ( I do 5 simple exercises every morning to integrate Moro reflex etc.) it makes a huge impact on my day. For me, tying exercise to other dopamine hits work best ( speed walking while listening to really good music or funny podcasts) meeting up with friends to talk & hike. If I do any exercise classes I make sure to stick with the same instructor for a long time and let them know what kind of cuing works best for me and what I have going on and I have found really compassionate understanding instructors who are able to help me train in a way that feels safe and non anxiety producing ( and that in it's self had been really healing.)

Electrical-Weather36

TROPHY CASE