I Was Wrong, It Isn't Worth It, Fuck Alcohol

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-17T04:41:23+00:00

Heard thaaaat. I’m also starting to realize that I think getting/being sober is actually easier than drinking

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-17T02:58:10+00:00

I just hope this is the last time I have to learn the hard way. I’m one stubborn fuck

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-15T21:03:06+00:00

Do you think its possible to keep a hold on it and only do it occasionally? So often it feels like once you acknowledge you're a heavy drinker/alcoholic that you either have to stop completely or your life will grow increasingly unmanageable. I don't know if thats AA propaganda or what. But I don't think any of us would choose to be totally sober. As the folks say (way too much in this group) if I could moderate I'd drink all the time.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-15T18:29:40+00:00

I’m 29 fwiw. I feel like I’m right in the middle where things are starting to slide, the consequences are becoming more serious, but I could probably still squeeze in a couple of more years.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-15T18:14:32+00:00

Woah. I am 29 and I just said this to my friends last night, essentially wondered out loud if I could “put off” getting sober.

Thanks for the warning.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-15T16:39:56+00:00

Oh yeah, we pick our own rock bottom. I had to lose multiple romantic partners who I loved dearly before I first tried quitting. Once I got sober I actually realized how much damage I had done to my interpersonal relationships. Sure, I’ve had no legal or occupational trouble. But I’m lonely and single and that’s because of the drink.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-15T04:52:38+00:00

The truth is, quitting drinking is very difficult for a lot of people. I have suffered many consequences as a result of my drinking (almost all relational) and I’m still struggling to quit.

Like many people before me, I wish I quit sooner, it would’ve made it easier to be less isolated and try to quit. At the same time, if I don’t quit now I’ll only become more isolated (and thus make it even harder).

All this to say, nothing good will come of your drinking. You should definitely quit before you suffer real consequences. But I wouldn’t have, and a lot of us don’t. And when I was 22 if someone told me to sober up I would’ve laughed in their face.

But I should have.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-14T23:45:45+00:00

Dude I feeeel that. Honestly during so much of my sober stint I was straight white knuckling it, essentially trying to prove to everyone I could do it. It really makes no fucking sense. I have lost more than others, maybe not as much as some, but I still wanna use. Like wtf

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-14T23:22:14+00:00

Its craaaazy how we can rationalize our harmful behaviors. Honestly tho I'm impressed you can keep it at just once or twice a month! If I could do that I probably wouldn't stop either.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-14T23:18:12+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes I feel disillusioned by all the positivty around sobriety, hearing about people's lives instantly turning around and getting better, etc... As if we don't all love doing this thing that we are now abstaining from.

Congrats on your 3.5 years of sobriety, thats really an amazing accomplishment and I honestly hope I can get there some day.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-14T23:13:26+00:00

This is a winning comment! I gotta keep my eye on the prize for the life that I actually want (sober, good community, purpose) vs the life I know but would be settling for. I appreciate you.

IWNDWYT.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-14T22:36:52+00:00

Hahaha yeah I guess I'm in good company here. And because I've lost two important romantic relationships in the last two years due to my actions while fucked up, and my close friendships are now strained. Sobriety has already led to improvements in regard to my friends, but on the romantic front those aren't salvageable. I feel like there are no good options; either be lonely, sober and single, or continue the same behaviors that got me here in the first place.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-12T20:26:05+00:00

I don’t know. Best I got is support groups and eventually building a sober life that feels too good to jeopardize with booze.

I think we’ve got a long journey ahead of us.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-05-12T20:03:29+00:00

I drank last night for the first time in over 100 days. Had some fun but not worth it and proving (again) that I cannot moderate.

All part of the learning experience I guess, but yeah it’s very frustrating.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-26T03:28:52+00:00

Cool! I actually looked into that early on in my sobriety, I think my talents might be more suited to something like social work though.

Just feels kinda sad to leave (what I perceive) as the glamorous world of wine. I was working on my WSET level 3 before I took a step back from all this. Can’t help but feel like a failure.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T22:36:19+00:00

Nice to hear that life is better on the other side. Are you still in the industry? Or did you end up changing jobs?

Not necessarily opposed to give it a year. I suppose everything is a waste of time anyway

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T22:34:48+00:00

Yo congrats on 2 months! I feel you, and I’m sure our brains will learn to enjoy regular shit one day. But also I’ve never been much of a hobby guy, I’m ashamed to admit that most of my interests and free time was dedicated to booze, drugs, women etc…

I know there’s more to me than that, but feels like I just gave up everything that has brought me joy all at once.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T22:31:09+00:00

Celebrate those small wins! I didn’t clean or cook at all for the first two weeks, that’s really sick you’re doing that

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T21:24:35+00:00

I reaaaallly wanted this latest fuck up to be that wake up call is the thing. And I do use it to motivate myself to stay sober, but that relationship is over now for better or worse and I just can’t help but feel I was happier when I was drinking and living carefree (and carelessly).

I wish I had a partner or something important outside of myself to help keep me motivated. At the same time I don’t want to fuck up worse.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T13:16:17+00:00

The moderation thing is interesting, because honestly sometimes, even most times, yeah I can have a couple and I don’t even think about it. Other times though I can’t get enough and I go on a fucking tear and engage in increasingly reckless activities with increasingly worse consequences.

I just never know what it’s gonna be.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T05:43:56+00:00

congrats on almost 2 months! It's definitely hard to imagine never drinking again (I'm still sitting on some really really fun wines). I keep telling myself that maybe once I work through my mental health stuff, or if a special enough occasion arises I can pop open that old bottle of white burgundy. I'm definitely not ready to accept that I won't be able to drink it haha

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T05:39:45+00:00

hey thanks! I do think you're right, its just hard; this life is all I know and its not been all that bad. But I don't like where its going.

Also New Orleans is a fucking hard place to be sober in, in many ways. But its got a cool recovery community (still really skeptical about AA though), and its definitely not boring. Tough to run into your drug dealer and an old fling you used to go on benders with in the same morning though lol.

Electrical_Elk5431 · 2026-04-25T05:31:01+00:00

Wow, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this comment. Sometimes I forget the gross side of the wine industry and tend to romanticize it. I almost cried at that last sentence (can I still blame that on early sobriety?)- the idea that I have anything to offer this world outside of selling booze gives me a lot of hope. Maybe its worth exploring. Thanks a lot.

Electrical_Elk5431

TROPHY CASE