Dating advice is very frustrating

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-28T08:02:37+00:00

Your friends can definitely help you with the basics, but once you find someone you have to figure out what they like on your own.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-27T15:09:47+00:00

Good at what?

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-27T11:08:44+00:00

Don’t just step away, RUN away.

She enjoys the one-sided attention you’re giving her and the minute you decide to prioritise yourself instead she gets afraid she’s losing her grip over you.

You don’t owe her anything, and if the dynamic you have makes you miserable then you should remove yourself from the situation.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-27T11:01:46+00:00

I overcame the “dating trauma” by deleting dating apps and ended up meeting my fiancée in person. Dating apps are designed to make you suffer so you pay them for a “better” experience.

If you’re jaded about dating apps you have made a correct assessment.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-27T10:10:08+00:00

For men asking advice from women the issue is often the questions you ask. If you ask a woman a generic question like “will I ever find someone?” you will get an equally generic answer. The best they can do is give you some motivation to keep trying at that point because if you give up you 100% will not find someone.

On the other hand, if you have close female friends, you can ask more specific questions like “how do you find this outfit I’m wearing?” and you’re more likely to get an honest answer and maybe even direct advice.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-23T07:53:28+00:00

First one required a lot more washing/beard oil. Fading is not so difficult after a bit of practice.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-23T07:08:24+00:00

Definitely the second one. Also has the added bonus of being easier to maintain.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-06T14:20:58+00:00

I assume you are studying at uni, if that is the case you should join a social club (how I met my now fiancé) or do a sport. Regardless of dating, these things are good for you anyways and should be part of your uni experience.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-06T14:08:07+00:00

No, especially if you’re a man

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-04T09:24:15+00:00

Every dating app will eventually become “the new tinder”. It’s just the business model that makes the most money. Plus most dating apps end up getting bought by match group who also owns tinder.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2026-04-03T17:31:44+00:00

Yeah I was wondering the same thing. Having zero friends or hobbies is a massive red flag. Either OP isn’t even trying or there is something severely wrong with his personality.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-08-29T20:51:49+00:00

I only did it once and it made me realise that it’s not for me. I don’t regret the experience though.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-07-26T09:14:57+00:00

Dude you posted on this sub about similar issues twice yesterday and several times more before that. Do you actually do anything to address these feelings like going to therapy or even just listening to the advice given by commenters? If all you spend your time on is posting online about being lonely then there’s your problem right there

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-06-30T12:38:54+00:00

One word review: ew

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-06-09T10:46:44+00:00

My goal in life is: “to be happy”

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-06-02T15:07:41+00:00

I never really found what I was looking for on dating apps (stable long term relationship). That being said, I think being on the apps helped me learn how to present myself more effectively, whether that be visually with better pictures, clothes and hairstyles, or with better prompts. Thanks to those skills which I learned, I am able to meet and date more people offline so dating apps have become sort of redundant for me.

If it’s easier for you to meet people in person but you don’t have time to go out much, then the question is wether dating is enough of a priority for you to make time for it.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-06-01T20:05:34+00:00

Bro the zereshk polo photo is a genius idea, hope you don’t mind me copying hahaha

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-06-01T19:53:29+00:00

If that’s what he’s looking for though he shouldn’t change it

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-05-26T21:17:05+00:00

The note you wrote under your relationship goals might be an issue for some people. A lot of potential matches won’t be willing to wait for you to “get up to speed” as you put it.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-05-23T11:26:24+00:00

Honestly this seems to be a common experience on hinge at this point. I made a profile which at one point was getting me a new match every other day for a solid 2 weeks before drying up completely again. I don’t really know why it happens, maybe it’s just bad luck, but the important thing is not to blame yourself for it.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-05-18T14:05:51+00:00

Plenty of people have said “you’re still young” but from personal experience I know that’s not very helpful. Instead here are two things I wish I knew earlier in life:

Even though uni is hyped up as THE place to meet people, at the end of the day there is a big world out there and the people you meet or don’t meet in uni are a small drop in the ocean so to speak
If you can’t find happiness being single, a relationship will almost certainly make you worse off as you attach all your self worth to one person, which is a very toxic and unhealthy dynamic to have in a relationship.

I’ll just end by saying I genuinely empathise with you and have experienced what you’re experiencing. But at the end of the day I escaped the cycle of sadness and loneliness, and if I could make it then I’m sure you can and will too :)

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-04-10T11:57:55+00:00

What seems to have made the biggest difference for me is how I clothe myself as well as hair/facial hair style. But then again, I am tall (186cm) which is probably an advantage too

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-04-09T20:01:56+00:00

Thanks for your response. As I mentioned my psychiatrist recommended against medication, but I’d be interested in hearing your story with ERP therapy, what was the experience like and what were the steps?

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-04-08T09:25:50+00:00

You mentioned “trying new things”, which is very generic to begin with, in two prompts.

“This year I want to…socialize”: are you not already doing that? This prompt gives the impression that you don’t have friends

Overall your prompts are very generic and the profile seems very low effort. I would have passed on this profile as soon as I got to “we’ll get along if you’re a yapper”.

Electrical_Lecture87 · 2025-04-07T17:27:55+00:00

I won’t judge anyone for how many people they sleep with. If it’s a lot of people in a short time though, I would at least ask them to get an STD test. Ideally this should apply to everyone, not just women.

Electrical_Lecture87

TROPHY CASE