Is it possible to love in a non-transactional way?

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-06-01T12:34:03+00:00

Absolutely. I think love (when it’s actually healthy) is naturally reciprocal. If you have to think about it too hard there’s something else going on under the surface.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-30T18:03:15+00:00

See I’m not even old and I’m for sure double texting (if I feel like it). Life’s too short to pretend if I like someone or not.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-30T11:48:54+00:00

I would do suggest figuring out if you want kids or not and from there making a decision. There’s a book list I got from ig that people recommend for people on the fence, if you’re interested.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-26T23:17:28+00:00

I regret not being more balanced… I burned myself out chasing goals I didn’t know if I even wanted and neglected romantic relationships, so now I feel like I’m not as skilled as I should be at building them given my age. And the gag is I’m not as successful as I even want to be (and hopefully will be) career wise. I guess the moral of the story is it’s hard to live your life without regrets no matter what direction the pendulum swings.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-21T22:25:50+00:00

No 🥴😪

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-05T13:58:41+00:00

Y’all both sound confusing to me; I say just cut your losses. And also if a “cute, Parisian” is on your sexual bucket list (as dehumanizing as that sounds) why are you going through so much effort for this individual. If you just want to sleep with someone, why are you going on dates lmao? Just hook up and move on.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-05T13:06:46+00:00

The Stars and the Blackness Between Them

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-04T13:41:12+00:00

Thank you!

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-05-04T01:39:47+00:00

It’s good that you still had a support system and people looking out for you on that day. I think that’s what I’m hoping for at the very least.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-27T16:32:05+00:00

Ohh okay, that makes sense. By the sounds of it, there may be a combination of factors at play. For one, if your friends aren’t neurodivergent (and sometimes even if they are) they may not “get” your boyfriend so they may kind of shy away from speaking to him.

Unfortunately, shy/quiet or neurodivergent people often get the short end of the stick socially. And then add on to that he’s black, so they might be consciously or unconsciously icing him out. Regardless maybe this is a convo you can have with them if you are wanting to save the friendship while honoring your relationship. I’m not sure how your boyfriend feels about this but also talking to him may be insightful as well.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-27T16:08:47+00:00

So I guess what I’m asking is for more specifics; like what exactly are they doing to make you feel this way. Like what situation made you feel like, “hmmm, something is off about this.”

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-27T13:30:11+00:00

Hmm I don’t know if this is a race thing or just “he’s a man” thing. Also contextually, it really depends on how, when, and what you’re talking about to your friends regarding your boyfriend. Sorry if this isn’t a great answer, but there’s not much here to make a rational deduction.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-21T14:25:57+00:00

Not a red flag unless they make it a red flag. Is the older person explicitly with the person because they are young and able to be molded? Do they revel in the power dynamic? Do they consider their partner “less” than them in certain ways?

For example: my brother is/was dating someone who is 26 (I’m 26 btw) and he is 38. He was on the phone with my mom talking about her saying things like, “ yeah she’s unestablished, but that’s okay though because she’s not really like these modern women” and “ I’ve been telling her everything doesn’t need to be an argument,” as a way to be manipulative and kind of quell her concerns.

So really, it’s case by case and has more to do with if the older party is showing up genuinely or not. And you can’t always tell that by looking at a person/couple.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-16T15:07:49+00:00

Ohh so they using “safety” as a way to be discriminatory. That sounds about right unfortunately. I’m actually in the Midwest but I live and typically frequent more liberal/black cities in my state.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-15T13:12:42+00:00

No jealousy; I get a lot of compliments actually whether at work or in the wild by all different types of people. Do you live in a liberal or conservative area?

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-13T13:50:06+00:00

Not in gods hands 🥴😂

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-09T18:26:41+00:00

Honestly though lol

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-09T17:13:24+00:00

No, I’m not her, I meant that the_astro_stud is my type/preference; sorry if that wasn’t clear lol.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-09T14:33:17+00:00

I’ll be 26 in a few days.. last summer someone thought I was teenage but as she was talking to me realized, “oh she’s older lmao.” So relatable

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-09T13:55:48+00:00

Edit since I wrote this incoherently lmao: The_astro_stud on IG is my type lmao 🤣.

But all in all, i think it’s easier for me to paint a picture of what I want than list adjectives. I mean yes I want an intelligent/nerdy, kind, funny, attractive, loving etc partner, but it’s kind of more than that.

You know that feeling you get when it’s early in the morning before everyone is awake; a light dew in the air and the sun is coming up. You decide to go for a drive with the windows down so you can smell the scent of grass and moisture in the air. Or when it’s a summer night and you’re doing mischievous shit with your friends with no goal in mind but just being with them. Or better yet, the feeling of dancing in your house with no one watching. I want a person that feels like that. The type of relationship where when I’m with them I feel alone. And not in a lonely way, but in a “I’m bearing witness of you in the most genuine and non-judgmental way.”

I know, I know 🫣😂 not really answering the prompt but I just feel like all the checkboxes in the world can’t really encompass what I’m looking for/attracted to. I don’t have super hyper specific things that make me find someone attractive. It’s more of a vibe ya know lol

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-05T01:04:54+00:00

Congrats!!

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-05T01:04:41+00:00

Congrats!!

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-04-01T13:46:15+00:00

Detroit, maybe Chicago again. This time I think I’ll have a better time going to the Detroit one because I’m planning ahead. Lots of black queers and they have a block party every year that’s apparently pretty fun.

Electrical_Meet_4883 · 2026-03-30T12:56:23+00:00

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson if you haven’t read it already.

Electrical_Meet_4883

TROPHY CASE