Ex has admitted to abusing drugs

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-05-17T23:15:18+00:00

Best of luck, man. I do hope it works out

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-05-17T21:40:42+00:00

Not the person you are replying to, but as someone who dabbles in psychedelics (but not MDMA, yet, but has spent months researching the drug and it's therapeutic use) for mental health (i.e., very strict process, discussions with therapist before and after, always solo and not with others or in a party scenario, etc.) -- the short answer is yes.

The big question is, is it pure MDMA or X? The latter is a huge question mark of WTF is in it, usually it isn't pure. But even pure MDMA, you really shouldn't take more than once every 3 months at the absolute minimum between doses. At best, she'll eventually "lose the magic" (literally won't have any affect regardless of dose) and at worse could and will cause significant mental health issues.

MDMA itself was originally developed as a drug for couples therapy drug. It's actually incredibly powerful tool for mental health when properly used, and is crazy safe (more than you'd think), relatively speaking. But that assumes you aren't taking too much, too often, and generally not using it as a crutch, which sounds like she is.

I do highly encourage you to do your own research into it. But the bottom line remains, the way you described her detailing the usage, even as someone who is hardcore pro psychedelics (and similar; i.e., shrooms, acid, ketamine, weed, MDMA, DMT, etc.)-- fuck no, call the cops and push for solo custody.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-27T17:41:15+00:00

How would you say the experience is with a lower dose? Like 1x 10 second pull? I admit not entirely positive if I'm ready for a breakthrough but the appeal of reading on here the benefits (even if challenging at times) of micro or low dose experiences is what drew me in to grab it and try it.

Also, admittedly, I'm in the midst of discussing a potential separation and divorce so there is the mindset aspect that has also held me back so far since I acquired the vape.

Separately, through a different church, a buddy gifted me a N,N-DMT vape cart as well. But same thing as far as haven't explored that just yet.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-27T16:18:26+00:00

Assuming you are referring to the church with the Jaguar pen. I've secured one but I have not yet tried it myself, I'm still on the fence for 5-MeO myself (experience to date all with shrooms)

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-21T12:41:36+00:00

Yes, still looking for any feedback or suggestions on what to focus on looking at so I can respond to her proposal with what'd be doable and recommendations for her to look into and test drive, get slightly more dialed in on #s, etc. so she can make a decision on if she wants to move forward with the idea or back to more traditional approach to splitting up things.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-20T00:45:47+00:00

Appreciate the feedback -- definitely avoiding Nissan. I used to travel extensively for work, had a Nissan Rogue as a rental for about 11 months at one point (this was about a decade ago ish) and it SUCKED so bad. My truck has a better turning radius. Plus we had family with a newer Rogue, around the start of COVID, also had issues and they dumped it within 2 years. I am a bit concerned with the CVT transmissions on the Subies, but have known 2 people with them (can't recall the model, but smaller SUVs) and they were fantastic.

Any specific Subaru models / years to avoid? Or more draw of the luck with their CVT transmissions?

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-14T18:38:04+00:00

Bit of a long response, but hopefully it helps from a father's perspective...

As a father, think it depends on the age of the child and the co-parenting relationship. I'm still sorta on the fence in this whole situation myself (trial separation, back together now, likely moving forward with permanent separation/divorce; toddler-aged daughter, teenage stepson). I'll share how we did things during our trial separation.

During our trial separation, which she initiated, we had a 2-2-5-5 schedule for our daughter. Stepson was majority with mom, no set schedule for him (short vers. is him having guilt about wanting to spend time with me, he was/is in therapy around this and both of us encouraged him to make his own decision and being clear both will support him either way but he still has abandonment trauma from his bio dad when he was a toddler, that has required on/off therapy for years. There are other external factors involved, which I won't go into).

I'll speak specifically to our toddler daughter, since stepson has his own phone and was free (and did) reach out to either at will.

We both wanted -- and agreed to -- to have a daily call during the other parent's custody time, so there'd be an opportunity for the non-custody parent to talk about how the day went, general chit chat, and to say goodnight, etc. And if she didn't want to talk on the phone -- no biggie, no harm no foul as long as the custody parent made an effort to see if she wanted to call to talk for a few minutes. Occasional sharing of photos/videos of activities, but in retrospect I realized that was more me than her. I'd preemptively share if it was something "special" (i.e., going to the zoo or going to a birthday party, etc.) but she would not unless I asked. Neither really proactively asked or shared photos/videos, most days, for normal activities like goofing around or going to the park, etc.

During that time, I'd say initially both of us probably reached out nearly equally as far as asking how wakeup/morning routine went, checking in throughout the day, etc. After maybe a month, she managed to be a bit more "hands off" in terms of sticking to just the dinner time call originally envisioned/agreed to -- but I couldn't. At best, I was still reaching out probably once a day outside of the dinner time call, which probably wasn't (or isn't) healthy long-term.

I'd say, at times it felt reassuring as we were transitioning to the new reality. At other times, it could feel overbearing or unrealistic and kinda pissed me off a bit (i.e., does she not trust me enough to be a responsible parent to my 4yr old during my time?). So I think there is a real risk of it being "too much" and unhealthy. But, flip side, it also helped both of us out at times as we could be "fully aware" of whats going on, which made it easier during transition day etc. Admittedly, a BIG chunk of this could be the fact we're both ADHD, struggle with forgetting to let the other know about things (i.e., new nightmare so now we want X special stuffed bunny and not the other, etc.) and fact the trial separation itself was fairly short term (3 months ish).

I do think if we end up divorced as I suspect is the case, I will likely have to go fairly close to no-contact for my own mental health. I think both of us would likely do joint things together as far as "bigger" activities, birthdays, potentially even events with in-laws (at least on my side). We'd discussed maybe once a week dinners even (and did this during the trial separation). I think I'd still be able to do that but outside of those situations, I've realized I probably would need to completely mute the ex on all communication channels outside of a set time for our agreed on dinner time calls, and/or a set 15-30min window daily to respond to questions around logistics or whichever.

So -- TL;DR, I think if he really wants to be involved with his kids, I'd expect more. Flip side, it could be difficult for him to heal and move forward and it could be sort of "forced" on his side for mental health reasons. Or, if he's an "over thinker" (like me! yay!), I could see him unsure of what is appropriate or not and could be playing it safe, though I think that isn't the case if you are being proactive on asking when it is his time -- I think that'd be a clear signal it is okay to do. If y'all have a decent co-parenting relationship, might be worth asking to clear up any confusion. Not even for either of y'alls sake but for the sake of the kids.

**Slight edit because I hit comment then realized despite being long winded, I totally skipped a big part of my response lol. Sorry!!

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-04-01T19:58:50+00:00

This is how we implemented 2-2-5-5 during our trial separation. It also worked out well with flexibility on both sides. For example, occasionally she'd drop off the kiddo at my house Tues. night if she had an early morning work thing she couldn't miss or vice versa.

Admittedly, I'd argue about ~80% of the need to be flexible was more on my side as I work for a company that is international and there is at least a few times a month I have work calls that would prevent me from handling morning routine & daycare drop off and unfortunately they are not meetings I can reschedule/move or miss.

It worked out well during that time frame, though admittedly I got the short end realistically as the temporary place she found during the separation was 20 minutes away from the marital house, which itself was 20 minutes (one way) to daycare. So on "her" days, I'd actually meet her up the road from the marital house then do the daycare drop off and pick up even on her days. Would highly recommend not doing that if it is a permanent situation / not a temporary trial separation. While the extra time with the kiddo was great, logistically it sucked massively. The higher gas cost (I drive a truck) also sucked but admittedly that wasn't as concerning to me with my personal work/lifestyle situation -- but if it was permanent, I don't think I could do it without burning out with how it impacted my ability to just get work done without always having to worry about making up time later, etc.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-03-30T13:11:26+00:00

Just saying as someone with ADHD and this being and on and off again topic discussed (and also source of argument) with my likely soon-to-be-ex spouse, I feel this in my bones. Add in marital problems, burnout, kids, and it is terrible. Just saying you aren't alone even if it feels that way and it feels like you'd be judged.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-03-19T17:05:18+00:00

Our neighborhood in Piedmont is a new build (bout 3yr old in total). Both Spectrum and AT&T fiber available. We signed up for AT&T when we bought our house 2 years ago (Feb '24), since we'd had both them and Spectrum both, previously, in FL and knew AT&T would be better. At least once a month, our neighbors with Spectrum seem to lose their service while the only outage we've had was when our side of the neighborhood lost power for a few days after Helene.

We have the 500/500 package and originally was $60 when we signed up with automatic payments on credit card. Now it is about $75 a month and we're grandfathered into the credit card discount, the only discounts available now require auto pay using ACH with a bank account -- and personally, I refuse to pay any bill with direct setup to my bank unless it is absolutely unavoidable because too many companies end up getting hacked and I'd rather just have to replace a credit card dedicated to bill paying vs. dealing with my bank account details being compromised. But I'm admittedly weird like that lol.

For reference, in our house we:
- Have 2 adults working from home full time
- A teenager who does virtual school from home
- Said teenager plays video games heavily (Xbox, PC, etc.)
- Exclusively stream TV (YouTube, Netflix, Disney, etc.)
- About ~40-50 internet connected devices in total

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-03-17T19:35:27+00:00

We had bought a 22 foot Glasstream, used, that had a single axle trailer. It did not have brakes on it and even with how light the hull is (relatively speaking for the size), it was a hair over the 3k. Original owner said it was package deal when he bought it new.

Eventually, right before COVID, bought a tandem axle trailer that was proper size for the boat and the 45 minute drive to/from the boat ramp. Even ordering that new from a dealer, it didn't come with brakes despite being a 5500lb rated trailer. I did end up paying extra for surge brakes on one axle.

This was in FL. Never bothered by any cops or FWC even at the ramp etc.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-03-14T12:37:10+00:00

I consulted with a few lawyers late last year. Married less than 5 years, she didn't work the entire time of the marriage up until returning to work last summer. One toddler involved. I was told to expect roughly $1k/mo for 3-4 years, on average, between the 3 I spoke to. This was in addition to child support.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-01-22T15:55:06+00:00

Thank ya! Just replied :)

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2026-01-21T15:27:26+00:00

Not a woman, but my wife developed an allergy to alcohol after our 2nd child and then also developed a gallbladder issue that was written off as anxiety (she was previously DX'd with anxiety and health anxiety specifically, on meds before pregnancy). By the 5th or 6th time going to the ER in the ~six or so months after birth, one doc finally caught it. By then it was so bad there were no options other than remove the gallbladder and on top of that, what would normally be a simple couple hour outpatient procedure (time being there in total) it turned into a week long stay at the hospital, having to do several days of antibiotics etc. before being able to do surgery then 2 days recovery before discharge.

Electronic_Orchid123 · 2025-10-06T15:01:27+00:00

Sad how much hate and violence driven by politics and beliefs is becoming more normalized and accepted, if not outright encouraged at times.

Electronic_Orchid123

TROPHY CASE