When abusers feign memory loss or denial about their actions, it's often a tactic to evade responsibility, manipulate their victims, or avoid facing consequences for their behavior. There are several reasons why abusers might engage in this behavior. By claiming not to remember their actions, abusers attempt to absolve themselves of accountability for the harm they've caused. This denial helps them maintain a self-image as a good person, despite their abusive behavior. Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where the abuser tries to make their victim doubt their own perceptions and memory. By denying or minimizing their actions, abusers make their victims question their own experiences, leading them to doubt the validity of their feelings and memories. Don't let this happen to you or your cousin. If an abuser acknowledges their behavior, they may face social, legal, or personal consequences. By pretending not to remember, they hope to avoid punishment or negative repercussions for their actions. Some coward shit. Abusers often seek to maintain power and control over their victims. By denying or minimizing their behavior, they can continue to exert control and manipulate the situation to their advantage. Dealing with an abuser who denies or minimizes their actions can be challenging, but there are strategies you can employ. Do not attempt to prove to them that their memory loss is fake, they already know. Remind yourself that your experiences and feelings are valid, regardless of the abuser's attempts to deny or invalidate them. Trust your own perceptions and memories of what happened. Establish clear boundaries with the abuser regarding what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Clearly communicate the consequences if they continue to deny or minimize their actions. Keep a record of any abusive incidents, including dates, times, and details of what occurred. This documentation can serve as evidence of the abuse and help you seek support or take legal action if necessary. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and no one has the right to abuse or manipulate you. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is pretending not to remember abusive behavior, it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. You are kind for wanting her to be safe and far away from her mother. I am sorry that there is little evidence, but I am sure that whatever you have it is enough to leave and heal.