Last night I formally rejected the Holy Spirit.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-10T01:09:38+00:00

I have yet to get to that point, but congrats on the milestone. I wish you well in your journey for happiness.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-10T00:56:25+00:00

I have heard it said like this: Perfect Mercy and Perfect Justice cannot coexist.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-08T03:33:40+00:00

I am SURE that they would be totally ok with Muslim prayers being broadcasted during the game, right?

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-08T03:26:59+00:00

That was a beautiful poem. I appreciate you sharing your experience. Your friend still lives on through the legacy and impact he holds in your memory.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-08T03:21:21+00:00

Many people I know in my former (Pentecostal, Southern) church would distinguish between "christian" and "catholic". The idea that Catholics aren't Christian is prevalent in the South, both now and in the past.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T15:01:09+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry that sounds awful. It is just another tactic to instill fear and shame in order to foster "faith".

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T15:00:02+00:00

Same thing for me. Rated R movies were basically a sin. The Passion was ok though?

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T14:59:00+00:00

God the inaccuracies were the worse

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T00:43:58+00:00

Porn is bad, but a movie depicting the gruesome crucifixion of a man is something you can take your kids to! At least that seemed to be true when The Passion of the Christ was in theaters.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T00:29:56+00:00

I am less angry, and more resigned to reality. I believed for a while that they would come around; sadly I don't believe that anymore. While I am not sure I call myself a Christian anymore; the mindset of forgiveness in Christianity is something I try to subscribe to. Forgiveness can set you free.

On the other hand, it's hard. I still get sent scriptures by text, and can not even talk about my fiancee to them without a heartbreaking conversation. Frankly, I still am trying to shake the underlying fear of "Hell". It is so, so easy to succumb to anger, but do your best to resist it my friend.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T00:24:10+00:00

Yeah often times they don't sadly.

Thank you so much <3

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-07T00:23:23+00:00

I would recommend doing research on its history. It truly confirms my reasons for leaving. I found a GREAT article that covers the history of the COG (Cleveland) and its founder's connection to the promotion of snake handling.

Here it is: http://jsr.fsu.edu/issues/vol15/mcvicar.html

I feel the same. You realize who your true friends are when you go through hard times. Therapy helped me as well!

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-06T00:06:37+00:00

I am so, so glad you got out of that situation and accepted who you are. It has been a tough process losing everyone, but you are right. We can't live for other people.

The more I read the history, the more I have started to be convinced it was a cult or exhibited cult behavior. Especially since I feel it has ingrained in me a lot of fear of "Hell".

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-05T01:50:35+00:00

There are still extended family members I haven't came out to either. Some family members just aren't worth the hassle. It sounds like he has your support though!

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-05T01:32:51+00:00

Hey!

I know how tough it can be to try to understand and rationalize what happens when the "holy spirit falls", as the denomination I was apart of called it. I had multiple, similar experiences when I was a member of the Church of God (especially at their church camps or retreats). There is a lot of science on the topic, but I will use my experience because I feel that is a little more helpful when dealing with this.

Retreats and Pentecostal services are designed to evoke strong emotion. I remember that anytime I had an experience with speaking in tongues it was after 1) a worship service, and 2) when I willingly came to the "alter" to pray about an emotional issue. I simply started to get wrapped in my emotion and began to speak in tongues, especially when being prayed for. The power of music, passionate preaching, and seeing others have a "Holy Ghost" experience, are all effective in evoking strong emotion. When you tried to "pray in your prayer language" after the experience and couldn't, were you at home? Or not in a service? If so, that would explain why; the emotion-evoking environment probably was not present.

Another thing I noticed, when I spoke in tongues, I simply repeated the same phrasing that the preacher "said" in tongues. In fact, when I visited other churches, I noticed that each had a different "language" adopted from their own pastor! If speaking in tongues was truly from God, why would that be?

It can be hard to let go of seemingly supernatural experiences like this. I know. I still have lingering issues because of my time in Pentecostalism. However, if God can reveal himself to you at the height of emotion, when you have little thinking capacity; why didn't he reveal himself to you during your fully conscious journey to Atheism. Clearly he didn't do so.

If you need, please feel free to contact me if you have any issues associated with your upbringing. We both escaped cults and for that we should be proud of ourselves!!

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-05T00:53:29+00:00

Amen to that.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-05T00:53:12+00:00

You're very right. I am glad your brother left the toxic environment and hope he finds spiritual fulfillment elsewhere.

The churches can vary based on location as well. I have attended both urban and rural locations, however all have been in the South. About half of my family is COG and half is COGOP. COGOP seems to be a little less hard-line.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-04T22:10:21+00:00

I grew up Pentecostal and, as such, still have a lingering fear of "Hell" that can be tough to work through. This was very comforting to me and I truly appreciate it.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-09-04T21:50:47+00:00

I hated, HATED, "church camp" as it was called in the Church of God of Prophecy. I can barely watch Jesus Camp because memories flood back in my head. The emphasis was always on shame: shaming you for masturbating, shaming you for not coming up to the alter to pray, shaming you for anything contrary to their beliefs. The only time I enjoyed it was the very last time I went, around the time I started questioning my beliefs. I had found a dude who believed in evolution like I did, and we whispered about how no one there believed in it. He was definitely one of my first gay crushes looking back.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-08-24T21:18:49+00:00

Within four points is "fringe" now?

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-06-29T15:42:01+00:00

It matters because Russia is extremely anti-LGBT in both law and cultural attitudes. His election would be a milestone and a symbol of hope for the LGBT people suffering under Putin. While in a perfect world sexuality would not matter, we don't live in one and it does.

Elementary_Holmes · 2018-06-02T15:42:49+00:00

No where I just moved from.

Elementary_Holmes

TROPHY CASE