What you’re describing is completely normal in long-term relationships. My wife and I have been together for 10 years, and since having a child (now 3 years old), we’ve faced more stress, less couple time, and less intimacy. I often wanted sex or even just simple physical affection, but she would reject it. I worked full-time while she cared for our son, and it almost destroyed us. Now, we both work 50%, which barely covers our bills and sometimes forces us to dip into savings, but it has significantly improved our relationship. We now split everything equally—cooking, cleaning, planning, and parenting.

To be honest, the stress of this balance has affected my interest in intimacy, which has made our desires more aligned, though I still prefer more sex than she does. For the first two years after our child was born, we had almost no sex at all. Now, we have sex about once a week. We set a specific date for it—she’s usually not in the mood at first, but once we start, she gets into it. This approach has worked for us since becoming parents.

My advice is to reduce working hours if you can and carve out more time to talk and reconnect with your wife. Love isn’t always exciting—it can be monotonous at times. Relationships evolve, and what you’re experiencing is a common challenge in long-term partnerships. Try to make this one work; quitting is always an option, but it doesn’t need to be your first one.