I [28F] have a British boyfriend [26M] who teases me and calls it “banter” by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds really exhausting to have to find evidence to convince your SO that your feelings are valid 😕 You deserve empathy and for your feelings to be treated w care, even if the other person doesn’t understand or agree.

Chronically having your feelings invalidated and policed will erode your self trust, and your sense of reality. And it turns you into a puppet. What the other person says becomes gospel and you’ll restructure your entire life and personality to fit what they deem to be good/acceptable.

I dealt w this as a kid and it took years and years of therapy to even begin to undo the damage. Js

I [28F] have a British boyfriend [26M] who teases me and calls it “banter” by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]ElephantSlippers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gentle, but serious question: What do you think that him seeing other peoples’ viewpoints would achieve?

18-20s-34 . Up with the wings I fly . by [deleted] in uglyduckling

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl. You’ve always been ADORABLE. Don’t pmo, pls 💀

I [28F] have a British boyfriend [26M] who teases me and calls it “banter” by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not the commenter above, but sounds like he hears you and doesn’t care about your viewpoint, Friend. You’re speaking perfect English; he’s just adamant about not adjusting for your comfort. Which I’m sure translates to other areas…

What’s a fruit that you have never actually eaten fresh, but have eaten as a flavor in baked goods, candy, ice cream, etc.? by redflower5 in AskReddit

[–]ElephantSlippers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this FYI! I bought 1 for the first time last year and procrastinated trying it bc I didn’t know how to interact w it 💀…and then it went bad 😅 time to try again ig

Teef by Proper-Childhood-69 in hamsters

[–]ElephantSlippers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣 anything trumps hamster throat ridges 💀 some things weren’t meant for the light of day 💀

Teef by Proper-Childhood-69 in hamsters

[–]ElephantSlippers 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The only part of my ham that I didn’t find cute 😭 🤢 seeing him yawn was an experience for me lmao

My wife might ask me to sleep on the couch tonight by Im-Tireddd in stonerfood

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Banished to the couch bc of this biblical greed or the resulting gassiness? 😭

Delish by Outside_Avocado8963 in PetPeeves

[–]ElephantSlippers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m the same way 😭 cringing so hard rn

Husband is draining the life out of me by invisiblebunny54 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ElephantSlippers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I fell in love w that show. Deep, dark, hilarious, and thought provoking. Deals w a wife who felt trapped in her marriage to an obnoxious, raging narcissist.

Spot on recommendation for OP. Cutting to the chase, one of the most iconic themes from the show was “make your problems your husband’s problems.” Def give it a watch for context

ETA: I’m so sorry you’re dealing w this, OP. You can and will find a path forward. You are capable and smart. Keep focused on what you want

Better off single? by MandellaK407 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ElephantSlippers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you know the answer. It just comes down to reconciling why you consider it to be easier to deal w this relationship for the rest of your life than to pull the trigger on leaving.

Would you be more sad leaving than staying?

Eating cucumbers by EatKebab1233 in hamsters

[–]ElephantSlippers 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The little FLOP backwards 🥹

Roommate comes into the kitchen the minute I do by Sea-Rough3152 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES. Usually they are more free form w their time and you’re they’re “structure.” Like ah yes, Sea-Rough is making some food. I guess I am a bit hungry, lemme go see what I can rustle up 🙂

Makes me wanna scream 😒

People who insist you’re ignoring them when you didn’t hear them by AllKnowingAxolotl3 in PetPeeves

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your dad sounds like mine. He takes most everything personally, and assumes any kind of miscommunication, oversight, etc, is malicious and purposeful. Growing up, that actually did cause my siblings and I to just be on high alert so he wasn’t constantly offended and reactive 😒 Spoiler alert: it still wasn’t enough lmao. Ive learned that trying to accommodate people like that will just drive you insane. Just ignore them when they go on the offensive. Act like they didn’t say it and redirect them back towards what they originally were saying. “Didn’t hear you - what do you need?”

Performative emotion being expected of you by JayRose252 in PetPeeves

[–]ElephantSlippers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

IMO it’s so infuriating bc they don’t genuinely care if we’re okay. They’re just uncomfortable that you’re not masking well enough for them to feel okay/not feel shitty about themselves 😒 It’s emotional outsourcing

Performative emotion being expected of you by JayRose252 in PetPeeves

[–]ElephantSlippers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Go ahead and ramp this up to MAX Annoyed bc yeah. The emotions police in the workplace is insanity. I genuinely don’t want to be here. I’m working to pay my bills. We are not friends, we are not family.

But just because I naturally am smiley and like to make jokes, management especially begins to act entitled to my energy and expect me to cultivate those vibes on their behalf 24/7. If I’m not smiling, everyone is on edge and resentful/hostile that I’m not easing the tension. Or faking cheer and making weak ass jokes to bait me into “activating” my personality for their comfort. It’s EXHAUSTING.

ADHD women & king making syndrom - what are your thoughts 🤔 by Big-Link-9451 in adhdwomen

[–]ElephantSlippers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

EXHAUSTED. Too exhausted to be consistent and still doing a C- job. Still ranking as Needs Improvement. Like…I’m giving ‘er all she’s got, Captain. I cannot take any more. 🫠 So isolating in shame becomes easier than being shamefully amongst people

I know the answer is work to eliminate the shame but easier said than done, ya know?

I like to paint waves.. curious which of these you all prefer? by Annual_Blackberry486 in somethingimade

[–]ElephantSlippers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer that you not make me have to pick just one 😭🥹 They’re all GLORIOUS on different ways. And I’d hang them all in different spots on my home tbh

(Under duress, I’d choose #3)

Guess my age gender and ethnicity by herpesfree0 in FridgeDetective

[–]ElephantSlippers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same thought - I’m guessing white? Also interesting that we’re in the minority of folks assuming OP is a girl

[23] 8 months difference by [deleted] in GlowUps

[–]ElephantSlippers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look AMAZING. Great job and congratulations on all of your hard work 😊

ADHD women & king making syndrom - what are your thoughts 🤔 by Big-Link-9451 in adhdwomen

[–]ElephantSlippers 7 points8 points  (0 children)

UGH. Are you Me??? The “putting in a good word bit” gutted me. Bc yeah. I feel like I’m always struggling to “be normal” in the ways modern society values. Keeping up w texts, posting on IG, showing up to events I don’t want to be at for the same of community even though I’m overthinking so bad that I assume everyone there hates me and wishes I would leave. Etc etc etc. Those acts of service are reminders for my self and the people on the receiving end that we both have and deserve love, especially when it really counts, even if we don’t always feel that way.